Back To You
by AliciaReneeWriter
Summary: "I was always going to come back to you, but I didn't know it would be like this." A case brings the lieutenant and her former partner back together again, and despite seven years apart, she still trusts him to keep her safe. Set during this current season/current year. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello beautiful humans.**

 **People have messaged me on various social medias, asking if I would post more SVU stories. Well, after careful consideration and after editing a bit and reworking a story I had already begun, I am finally posting my first proper SVU fic for the dynamic duo. This is more than a one shot, this will be the real deal.**

 **This will be set with this season, with this current year. I look forward to writing this out, and updating regularly as I go on.**

 **I don't own these characters, but I do wish I did.**

 **Okay, here we go... xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 01**

 _Knock knock._

A sigh escaped the lips of the exhausted Lieutenant. She, along with her squad of detectives had been working tirelessly all day long to solve a recent case involving a sixteen-year-old rape victim; one whom had first been scared to reveal the identity of her attacker which had led to the detectives having to rely on the description to find the guy. They had followed several different leads before their victim finally revealed the identity of her attacker, and after arresting the guy, he confessed, and the case was pretty much a quick close. However, they had only sent the guy to the tombs about half an hour ago and they all still had quite a bit of paperwork to do, so Olivia was already aware that she would be in this precinct for a while tonight as it was already eight-thirty.

"Come in." she called without looking up, rubbing her tired eyes with her finger.

"Mommy!"

Her eyes immediately snapped open, her lips curled into a smile. Her adorable, curly haired five year old son, Noah, had come bouncing into the office; a toothy grin on his adorable little face while his young babysitter, Lucy, was trailing behind him with a bag of food in her hands.

"He insisted on seeing you before he went to bed," she giggled as she placed the bag of food on the desk, "And, he told me what kind of Chinese you liked and so we decided to bring some to you."

"Aw thank you guys; this is just what I needed considering I'll be here for quite a while," she came from around the desk and immediately pulled her son into a hug, "Hi my sweet boy; have you had a good day? Mommy is so sorry she didn't call."

"It's okay Mommy; I told Lucy you were making all the bad people go away," Noah held onto her shoulders as she was still knelt in front of him, "I had a really good day though, Mommy; I painted you a picture but I left it at home, and then me and Lucy went out to eat, and then we brought you food."

"Wow, you've had a full day hey buddy," she kissed his cheek yet again, "I'm sorry I won't be able to tuck you in tonight, but don't give Lucy a hard time okay?"

"You have to make bad people go away, Mommy; so, it's okay – Lucy can read me a story," the sweet little boy then looked up at his babysitter, "Right Lucy? You can read me a story?"

"Of course, I'll read you a story, buddy," she ruffled his hair, "Right – you ready? It's almost your bed time."

"Yeah, because I'm a bit tired too," Noah then wrapped his arms back around Olivia's neck, hugging her as tight as possible, "Goodnight Mommy; be safe, and I love you."

"I love you too, my sweet boy," she kissed his cheek before standing up, giving Lucy a quick hug, "Thank you Lucy; I'll pay you extra for this."

"Olivia, please don't think that's necessary; I love hanging out with this guy," Lucy squeezed her arm, "Goodnight."

Olivia waved them off, watching as they headed out of the squad room. She breathed out as she stood in the doorway, feeling like her heart had taken flight as things seemed so much better. Her life had definitely changed for the better now that Noah was around; she felt happier and stronger, she felt like she had something to fight for. Things hadn't always been easy over the last few years for quite a few reasons, but after adopting Noah, everything had become so ridiculously perfect – almost too perfect. Though, things showed no signs of going sour anytime soon, so she was enjoying the good times.

She looked back at the food on her desk and giggled a bit; God how she loved her sweet boy and how he always was thinking of her, even when she felt like a bad mother on the nights she had to stay at the precinct.

She closed the door to the office and sat back down at her desk; pushing her computer aside and pulling the food out of the bag to tuck into. Perhaps she did need a moment to step back and at least eat, considering the fact that her head was foggy with thoughts of this case – well, and she hadn't really eaten all day anyway.

She was scrolling through some emails on her phone and chomping away at the shrimp egg foo young some minutes later when her office phone began ringing. Wondering who was calling her at work, she gave a confused look as she wiped her hands on a napkin before answering;

"Lieutenant Benson."

She grabbed a pen and paper, scribbling some notes down as the Doctor Matthew Young, the doctor that often reported to the Special Victims Unit, began rattling off some information about a new rape victim. She responded with _'Mhm'_ and _'Okay we'll be right on it'_ before hanging up, a sign escaping her lips as she stood up. She poked her head out, seeing her squad hard at work with their paperwork. As much as she hated to interrupt them, this was important as from what the doctor was saying, it sounded like this was going to be a little more serious than previously.

"Guys, back to work," she sighed as she moved to pull her coat on, "We've got a new rape; the victim is at Mercy; me and Fin can take it; Rollins and Carisi, go to the home, see if CSU found anything or if there's any witnesses." She handed the bit of paper with the address on it to Rollins and Carisi, before heading out of the precinct with Fin behind her.

* * *

The ride to Mercy was quick; she and Fin engaged in conversations as they always did; Fin drove whilst she had his phone in his hand and scrolled through some pictures of his grandson, which melted her heart. She in turn told him about Noah and how well he was doing in school, before being forced to roll her eyes when Fin admitted to giving the little boy a bag of chocolate candy when he had come by earlier. The two colleagues had struck up quite the friendship in the eighteen years they had been working together, and they had a thick wall of trust between the two of them. Even though they were both getting older and Olivia was indeed his boss, Fin still saw Olivia as his little sister and was always going out of his way, having her back even when he probably didn't need to. She had his back as well and often gave him different perspectives on situations, as it was her whom was one to help him see that not everything was black and white and straightforward sometimes. Together, they had become a force to be reckoned with, and Olivia no doubt loved having Fin by her side as her _number two._

When the two arrived at Mercy, they stepped out of the vehicle and made their way inside. Doctor Matthew Young was at the nurse's station speaking to one of the nurses, only to bid her farewell when he noticed them coming towards him. He shook their hands as usual before speaking,

"Thirty-three year old victim; she said she was heading into her home when a guy attacked her from behind and forced her inside," he continued when he saw Olivia open her mouth, "Rape kit has been done, there's obvious signs of trauma. We're keeping her because she does have a concussion as well. We called the vic's husband to come and he's on his way, and her father is sitting with her."

"Does the father or husband look good for this?" Fin innocently asked.

"Not a chance, believe me – for either of them." Matthew replied, giving them both a look. Olivia raised an eyebrow, trying to read him for an expression. Just as she opened her mouth to ask, Matthew was called away to tend to another patient, leaving Olivia and Fin standing near the nurses' station area.

"I'll call Rollins and Carisi, see if they got anything; you go check on our vic." Fin told her. Olivia nodded, before being led by a nurse to where their victim was. She had a strange feeling she might know the victim or something, but she put it down to the fact that maybe it was a repeat victim – which was unfortunate.

Olivia thanked the nurse for holding the door for her as she stepped inside. The victim had her whole body turned in the direction of the wall, but Olivia could tell by her breathing that she was wide awake.

"Hi, I'm Lieutenant Benson from-"

The woman's head immediately jerked in her direction, her blue eyes now going wide as she stared straight at Olivia. Olivia too had frozen completely, as now that she saw the woman's face, she knew who their victim was and it was hitting too close to home.

"Olivia."

"Maureen."

It was Maureen Stabler, the daughter of her former partner. Maureen was here, she was their victim. Matthew had mentioned that the father of the victim around as well, which only meant – _oh shit._

The door burst open, and Olivia looked up, a gasp escaping her lips while a pair of familiar blue eyes stared at her in shock.

"Liv."

"Elliot."

After seven years, she was once again face to face with her former partner, and for the first time in a long time, she was speechless.

* * *

 ** _I know this first part was short, but I do want to know what you all thought about this. Leave your comments please, thank you xoxo_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone!**

 **Thank you for your kind words so far on part one. I'm glad people enjoyed that little introduction. I'm here again, and now here is the second part of 'Back to You'.**

 **Remember, I don't own the characters.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 02**

Olivia seemed to be frozen for a second, trying to process what exactly was going on. It was bad enough that she was once again out of the office because a new rape had occurred which was bound to take her well into the night. Now, however, the latest rape victim was the daughter of her former partner. Now, after seven years of nothing, she was standing face to face with her former partner.

Well if this wasn't one hell of a fucking Tuesday…

"Olivia, if you want someone else to-"

"No, Maureen, no," Olivia looked back at Maureen, giving her a warm smile, "No, I'm here," he took a deep breath; "Are you up for answering some questions?"

Maureen nodded her head, shuffling around onto her back so she could look at Olivia properly. Olivia took her hand, rubbing over her knuckles with her thumb to provide the young woman with some comfort. Elliot was standing over by the window, staring out in an attempt to give them a bit of privacy but to provide Maureen with the comfort of having him around. Despite the obvious elephant in the room, Olivia did still care deeply for the Stabler children, meaning that this case was a bit personal considering it was someone she pretty much watched grow up.

"Whenever you're ready, sweetheart." She whispered, knowing from years of experience that it was best not to pressure victims to talk. Victims were to go at their own pace, and that was exactly what Olivia was going to do.

After a few deep breaths and some sips of water from the cup on the bedside table, Maureen finally began to explain the events of the evening. She explained that she had been just returned home from the gym and was going inside when she got the feeling that she was not alone. She did a quick look around, and when she didn't see anyone, she proceeded to walk up and unlock the front door of the townhouse she shared with her husband. However, when she was opening the door, a man ambushed her from behind, causing her to hit her head on the doorway. With a gun to her waist, he forced her inside whilst keeping her back to him the whole time. She started crying a little bit when she explained how he pushed her down and raped her from behind, before forcing her to keep her back to him once he was finished. She explained that she waited a few minutes until after the front door closed before she pulled herself up and called for help, as she had been scared that he was still watching her.

Maureen began crying once again after explaining. Olivia softly stroked her arm whilst whispering to her, assuring her that she was safe now and that they would do everything to try and help her. Maureen unfortunately hadn't gotten a look at who had attacked her, but judging by the sound of her attack, this was nothing at all related to the case they had just closed. However, this case did sound a little familiar but Olivia was struggling to figure out why it did sound familiar.

After a few moments of silence, the door opened again, this time revealing Steven _–_ Maureen's husband. The couple shared a warm embrace as soon as the young man wandered over to the bed, leading Olivia to stand up and give a small smile to Steven once Maureen introduced them; "Liv, this is Steven; Steven, this is my dad's old partner and a family friend, Olivia Benson."

"Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Benson; Mo has told me a lot about you." The young man greeted, shaking her hand in a gentlemanly fashion.

"The pleasure is all mine, and please, just call me Olivia," she then took Maureen's hand again, the young woman's blue eyes pouring into her brown ones, "Mo, I promise we'll find who did this, I won't let anyone get away with hurting you."

"Thank you Liv." Maureen replied in a small voice. Olivia squeezed her hand and gave Steven a wave, before leaving out of the room. She hurried past Elliot, whom had turned from the window to look over at them and had no doubt seen her leave. She had begun to feel suffocated being in the room with him, and now she just wanted to get away as quickly as possible and pretend this never happened.

"Liv."

 _Dammit._

She swallowed hard before turning around, looking up at him as he stood before her. He was still tall and muscular, with maybe a few more lines in his forehead and around his eyes, a little more gray hairs mixed in with his dark hair. Nonetheless, he was still as ridiculously handsome as she remembered. I guess looks didn't change much in the last seven years for people like him.

Looks may not have changed, but apart from that, she had no idea who the man was standing before her.

"It's Lieutenant Benson to you," she found her voice again and managed to sound strong and firm; "Listen, I'm gonna catch the bastard that did this to Maureen and then we never have to speak again." She turned to walk away, only to roll her eyes when she felt him gently grab hold of her bicep. She whirled around and snatched her arm away, glaring at him. He gazed back at her, swallowing nervously and scratching the back of his neck.

"Liv – I mean _Lieutenant Benson,_ let's just, can we talk?"

"I'm talking to you right now."

"Olivia, that's not what I mean, and you know it?"

"No Elliot, I don't know what you mean because I don't know who you are," she snapped at him, "Seven years, Elliot, seven fucking years and you…" She trailed off, taking a deep breath and looking around to make sure they hadn't captured the attention of anyone. She remembered where they were and why they were here, and she knew that she couldn't react the way she truly wanted to right here, right now.

"We can go another seven years and not speak after I close this case, or we can just never speak again and I can go back to forgetting about y-"

"Liv!"

She whirled around, seeing Fin rushing towards her. He opened his mouth to say something, but was suddenly sent into shock when he saw the man standing before them.

"Stabler – it's been years man." He kept his voice calm and collected, even sticking his hand out for his former co-worker.

"Yeah, it has been," the two men shook hands as Elliot continued; "I'll um, I'll leave you two to get back to work." He looked back at Olivia, a certain nervousness in his voice as he spoke; "Erm, Liv – Olivia – thanks for helping Maureen through this."

Olivia hardly acknowledged his words; she shrugged and began making her way towards the exit. Fin stared after her for a bit before looking back at Elliot, who sighed and looked at the ground.

"I messed up, Fin; bad – so bad."

"Yeah man, you did; she went through so much hell when you left and we lost the real Olivia for a long time," Fin stepped closer, patting his back, "But, listen my man, I heard some things – you know how NYPD is a gossip mill – and if what I've heard about you is true, then you need to talk to Olivia and maybe she'll understand, and I'm sorry I haven't been there much for you brother."

"Don't apologize man, this is all on me," Elliot shook Fin's hand again, sighing, "Maybe after this case closes, I can get her to talk to me."

Fin nodded, before looking at his phone. He bid Elliot farewell once again before rushing towards the exit.

Meanwhile, outside the building, Olivia was standing against the wall, trying to steady her breathing as she still felt a bit strange from seeing Elliot. There was a wide range of emotions coursing through her; sadness from the years they had missed in each other's lives, anger towards him and how he'd left her high and dry, happiness and seeing him again, excitement at the thought of now being able to fill him in on her life…

Romantic feelings that she once were well and truly gone.

She blew out heavily through her mouth, her breath being visible in the form of a white puff as it was so cold outside. She just wanted to hide away and forget this was happening, but she had a job to do and she wasn't resting until it was finished.

"Liv, come on."

She looked up, seeing that Fin had finally come outside. The two slipped into their vehicle again; Olivia simply sitting in silence with her head against the backrest while Fin drove them back to the precinct.

* * *

Once they finally parked, Olivia went to get out so she could go back inside. However, Fin's hand on her arm stopped her, capturing her attention as she looked over at him. However, as soon as she saw the expression on her face – the one she only saw when he was about to talk some sense into her – and she immediately groaned.

"Fin-"

"Liv, hear me out before you say _no._ " he gave her a smirk, to which she rolled her eyes as she looked back at him.

"Liv, you gotta talk to him – if not for his benefit, then for yours." He softly spoke.

"Fin, I don't have anything to say to Elliot – it's not important anymore." She replied, shrugging her shoulders.

"You need some sort of closure-"

"I don't need any closure, Fin; I got over it," she rested her head against the headrest yet again, "I got through so much shit without Elliot, and it was clear that he didn't give a fuck about me else he would have…" She trailed off, her voice wobbling slightly which led to her stopping completely as she didn't want anyone to hear the emotion in her voice. Fin, however, knew her better than anything and simply put his hand on her shoulder, rubbing gently as she looked down at her hands.

"Olivia, talk to him, I promise it'll give you all the answers you need." He whispered.

"How do you know? Has he told you everything?" she asked, looking up at him.

"You know I would never talk to him and keep it from you," he replied, "Rumors fly throughout the NYPD, I've heard some stuff; that's why I'm saying you need to talk to him."

"What have you heard?" she wondered.

"Enough to know that it hasn't been an easy seven years for him either," Fin opened the driver side door to get out, "I'm just saying Liv, talk to him."

"I'll think about it." She muttered as she slid out of the vehicle, wrapping her arms around herself as she and Fin hurried into the precinct.

Once they stepped off the elevator and into the squad room that belonged to them, they found the room alive with the normal slew of detectives and uniformed cops, all working to see what they could gather with this new rape case, Amanda and Sonny were seated at their desks, both of them ruffling through some information to see if they could find any similarities from previous rapes.

"Our latest vic?" Amanda asked as she looked up. Olivia walked over to the screen, pressing a few keys which brought up a picture of Maureen and a couple pictures of her injuries.

"Thirty-three year old Maureen Stabler; attacked from behind at her home near Queens," she glanced back at Amanda and Sonny; "Did you speak to any witnesses? Did CSU find anything?"

"A hair and a fingerprint on the doorway; they're checking for any hits," Amanda stood up with her iPad in hand, "Neighbors say they heard screaming and one neighbor says she saw the man going inside behind her but didn't realize it was forced and so just left it alone."

"You guys got anything else?" Fin questioned, walking towards them.

"Not yet," Amanda replied, "Neighbors weren't able to describe the perp other than to say he was really tall and looked muscular from the distance, but it was too dark to be sure.

"There might be something here though," the squad gathered around Carisi's desk to listen; "Lieu, you and your old partner – you both collared a guy with the exact same MO about ten years ago."

"Round two of the short hair phase you went through." Fin joked, punching Olivia in the arm. She playfully glared before nudging him, then she turned her attention back to Carisi. He had pulled up the mugshot of an old perp. The others gathered around as they looked at the picture, and Olivia immediately remembered his guy – a man named Adam Leeson.

"That Leeson clown, I remember him," Fin chuckled as he nudged Olivia, "Stabler almost threw the bastard through the wall because he said you had a nice ass."

"Elliot would throw anyone through a wall that even looked at me wrong let alone actually say something." Olivia chuckled softly before looking back at Amanda, whom was still looking over some information and comparing notes from their current perp to Leeson.

"Our current guy has a similar MO to Leeson," Amanda explained as she looked up from the screen, "He was convicted for raping a couple teenage girls about ten years ago and was sentenced to thirty years, but was released a month ago for good behavior."

"Do you think it's him?" Amanda asked.

"Could be, but we don't have any solid leads and the rape kit stuff won't be back until in the morning," Olivia glanced at her watch, "Go home and we can pick it back up in the morning, starting with Rollins and Carisi finding the latest address for Leeson and going to talk to him."

"Got it, Lieu," Sonny stood up, stretching his arms in the air, "Rollins, need a ride or catching a cab?"

"I'll happily take a ride home," Amanda grabbed her coat and bag, "Night guys."

"Goodnight!" Fin and Olivia called in unison. Fin then went off to his desk to grab his things while Olivia went into her office to grab her coat and bag as well. As she was shuffling around and placing some files into her bag, she accidentally knocked over a picture frame on her desk, leading her to grab it to turn it over. However, the inscription on the back caught her attention as she really had forgotten it was there;

' _Happy 40_ _th_ _birthday, Liv; you're my partner for better or worse. 6313+4015 – forever. – El'_

She looked at the picture in the frame; it was one of her and Noah in the park one day. She had never realized the exact frame she used was one that Elliot had given her on her birthday, and being reminded of such now sent chills down her spine. She wondered if some sort of divine intervention was the reason she knocked the frame down and had been forced to look at the back; a sign escaped her lips as she turned it over again and ran her thumb over the inscription. She bit her lip, remembering the day he gave it to her.

* * *

" _Happy birthday Olivia!"_

 _Olivia's eyes went wide as she walked into the squad room, finding her fellow detectives and friends; Fin, Munch, and Elliot; all standing around her desk with cheesy smiles on their faces. Captain Cragen was standing with them as well, smiling at her as she slowly approached them._

" _You guys did not have to do this." She groaned. There were two huge, open boxes of cupcakes on her desk; each box holding twenty cupcakes each. Each cupcake had a lit candle – forty of them combined to represent the fact that she was forty today._

" _You're working on your fortieth birthday and you expect us to just let this day slip by; you got it twisted baby girl." Fin remarked, giving her a one arm hug._

" _Happy birthday, Olivia; don't let the government take over your mind – they like to do that on milestone birthdays like this." Munch chimed in with a joke, hugging her as well._

" _It's the least we could all do especially since you're working today," Cragen gave her a one arm hug before nodding at Elliot, "It was his idea though."_

" _I appreciate you guy so much," Olivia looked at them all before setting her eyes on Elliot, "I'm going to kill you; you just had to ignore me when I said I didn't want a fuss for my birthday didn't you? Stubborn son of a bitch."_

" _You should've known I wasn't going to let this go," Elliot gave her a warm hug, squeezing her a bit before moving back to hold her biceps, "Happy birthday; you're getting old." He winked to which she then rolled her eyes._

" _Just remember you have two years on me, my friend." She retorted before blowing out the candles on the cupcakes. After the others were given the all clear from her, they began to tuck into her cupcakes which made her giggle as she shook her head. Her attention was captured by Elliot stroking her arm, only for her to gasp when she saw him holding a giftbag out to her._

" _Elliot-"_

" _Just open it and say thank you." He looked back at her with that shit eating grin, and she simply rolled her eyes at him. She then looked into the bag and opened the card first, which said some kind words, had his signature along with the kids and Kathy, and a few – slightly expensive – gift cards to some of her favorite stores. She nudged him before pulling out the other gift, smiling as she saw the shiny silver picture frame wrapped in the plastic. He reached around her and grabbed hold of her hand to turn it over, a gasp escaping her lips when she saw the inscription on the back._

' _Happy 40_ _th_ _birthday, Liv; you're my partner for better or worse. 6313+4015 – forever. – El'_

" _Elliot, this is so great," she wrapped her arm around him, giving him a one arm hug again as she held the frame and the bag to her chest, "Thank you." She felt him squeeze her tighter and stroke her arm before he finally let go._

* * *

"Olivia."

Olivia looked up, her thoughts being broken by the sound of Fin's voice. He was standing in the doorway to his office with his jacket on and keys in his hand, but he had a look of concern on his face.

"What's up?" she asked.

"You okay?" he responded. She nodded her head, putting the frame back on her desk.

"I was just thinking about stuff, it's nothing," she brushed it off as she packed up the food she hadn't finished eating before finally picking up her things, as well as her keys to her apartment, "Come on, I'll walk out with you."

The pair walked out of the precinct together, a comfortable silence falling over them. Once they were outside, the two shared a warm hug before going their separate ways; Fin getting into his own car to head home while Olivia flagged a taxi. Once she was in the vehicle, she sighed to herself as she relaxed in the seat, her mind going crazy with thoughts of Elliot she watched the lights of the city go by.

* * *

 **I hope you all enjoyed this. Remember, read and leave the comments! I love you guys!**

 **Until next time xoxo**

 **PS: I'M SO READY FOR THE SVU FINALE!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you all so much for your support so far on the fic. Keep those reviews coming; I really appreciate it.**

 **Now here we go; here's part three!**

 **I don't own the characters obvs!**

 **Enjoy babies xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 03**

It was nearly midnight by the time Olivia walked through the front door of her apartment. She threw her keys onto the side table and hung up her coat, before slipping her feet out of her shoes and picking them up. The living room was dark apart from the glow of the television, which was playing one of the late-night talk shows. Lucy was fast asleep on the sofa, curled up under a blanket where her arm under her head. Olivia smiled a bit before wandering over and gently shaking her shoulder.

"Lucy…Lucy." She whispered. The young woman moaned a bit before slowly opening her eyes, her brown eyes expressing signs of confusion before she finally gathered her bearings and realized what was going on.

" _Mmm…_ hey Liv," she sat up and yawned a bit, "Was work alright?"

"It was…something," Olivia shrugged; "Did Noah go down alright, or did he try to stay up late?"

"He did try but I reminded him that his Mommy wouldn't like that, so he went down after a quick story." Lucy replied, giving her a smile. Olivia nodded her head, before breathing out and rubbing her shoulder.

"Hey, it's late so why don't you crash in the guest room." She suggested.

"Are you sure?" Lucy asked as she stood up. Olivia nodded her head, giving her a warm smile. Lucy thanked her before retreating to the guest room. Olivia turned the television off and kicked some of Noah's toys aside, before then quickly popping into the kitchen. She put her bag on the counter, then reached up into the cupboard for a wine glass. She'd well and truly earned this after the day she had, and she needed to relax a bit before she went to sleep.

She poured herself a glass of red wine, before taking her bag and shoes and the wine glass into her bedroom with her. She put her things down and put the wine glass onto the bedside table, before then finally stripping out of her clothes and throwing them into the basket in the corner of her room. She changed into a pair of yoga bottoms and a tank top and quickly tired her hair into a bun before finally climbing into bed. After a couple sips of wine, she relaxed under the blankets, staring at the ceiling as thoughts began swirling in her head.

She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, trying to rid herself of thoughts of her partner – well, _former_ partner. She twirled the end of her hair around her finger as she stared at the swirly patterns on her ceiling. Running across Elliot Stabler just a mere few hours ago had been a shock. She should have known something was up when the doctor kept giving her that funny look or when he sounded so positive that their victim's attack had not been done by the father or husband. He had known it was Elliot's daughter back there and had obviously known that Elliot was there as well. She sat up against the pillows and took a sip of her wine; though the cool liquid was doing nothing to relax her as her mind was still racing with thoughts of Elliot.

She had only stopped thinking about him about four years ago, and now here he was in her mind, yet again.

After she stopped thinking about him constantly, she started to wonder what would happen if she ever did come into contact with him after years or not seeing each other. Recently, whenever she would randomly think of such, thoughts would include her slapping him or screaming at him until her voice was gone. Tonight, however, she tried to actually get away without speaking to him at all. Upon seeing him, she was suddenly consumed by fear of having him too close again. She knew that all it would take was them talking for a bit, and he would be back in her life. She couldn't handle it. She couldn't handle him coming back into her life and then being gone again.

Yet, a small part of her wanted him to be part of her life again. She wanted to share in her experiences with him. She wanted to tell him her excitement of becoming Sergeant and then Lieutenant. She wanted to tell him all about Noah. She just wanted to tell him _everything._

She downed the wine before suddenly getting out of bed. She wandered over to the dresser and began rummaging through the drawers; she wondered if she still had the piece of jewelry that once meant the world to her. She pushed some clothes around before feeling her hand come across some rough, paper material, leading her to pull the item from the drawer. It was the envelope in which some gifts from Elliot came all those years ago at the precinct, and inside, were said gifts that were still close to her heart.

A mini badge with Elliot's badge number, something she once had clipped to her gun, and the cherished _Semper Fi_ medallion, something she once wore around her neck. Both items were her strongest reminders of Elliot and both offered some sort of comfort and protection, even when he was no longer around. She dumped the items onto the top of her dresser before picking up the medallion, breathing out as she ran her thumbs over the delicate piece of jewelry. Though she hadn't worn it in years now, it was still very important to her and something she sometimes would look at when she was having a particularly bad day or was dealing with a particularly bad case.

As she stared at the badge and medallion, her mind wandered back to the conversation with Fin in the car. She wondered what he had been talking about regarding things Elliot had gone through over the last seven years. She knew rumors were always flying throughout the NYPD, but she hadn't heard much about Elliot over the years. Though really, why would anyone say anything about Elliot to her or around her? He had always been such a raw topic for her to discuss. She never even fully discussed her feelings when he'd left. She just kind of pushed it to the back of her mind and allowed it to whither away until she thought about him less and less and less.

But really, she wanted to know what he had gone through.

She thought back to earlier when she'd been face to face with him, and part of her cursed herself for how she handled the situation. It was almost an impulsive reaction. Everything came rushing back, this mixture of feelings that she hadn't dealt with or even thought about for the longest time. Her natural reaction was to put her walls up and lash out at him at the time, but now that she had calmed down and was thinking a bit clearly, she wished that she had pulled him aside to talk to him a bit and maybe get some insight as to what happened and why he simply abandoned her.

She sighed to herself as she picked up the medallion and put it around her neck. The trinket had always provided her with a sense of relief and protection, and that was exactly what she needed right now. She then climbed back into bed and flicked the lamp off before snuggling under the blankets.

And as soon as she drifted off to sleep, her dreams were filled with images of the blue eyed former partner she so desperately tried to forget about…

* * *

The night was spent tossing, turning, and waking up every two hours in a cold sweat due to a dream involving Elliot. By the time her alarm went off at around quarter past seven so she could get up and get Noah up so he could start getting ready for school, Olivia felt more tired than she had done when she'd gone to bed. A coffee run was definitely necessary before she headed to work else there was no way she would get through the day without falling asleep.

The morning routine ran smoothly, which she was grateful for. Noah got up without a fuss and showered in the hallway bathroom while Olivia showered in her own en suite bathroom. In an effort to help Olivia out, Lucy sweetly made Noah's lunch and packed it into his lunch box before she headed out, and even left a note for Olivia indicating that she had done so, something that Olivia saw once she emerged from her room after getting dressed for work. She quickly text a thank you message to the young woman, before then grabbing the cereal box to give Noah some breakfast before they left. Noah emerged soon from his room as well, all dressed for school with his backpack in hand.

About an hour later, after she dropped Noah off at school on time as they had managed to leave their apartment at a reasonable time, Olivia found herself walking into the SVU squad room. Amanda and Sonny were looking over some notes from their latest rape while Fin was on the phone and writing some things down.

"Morning guys." She greeted.

"Morning Lieu!"

"Hey Liv!"

Fin gave a wave before returning to his phone conversation. Olivia squeezed his arm before heading into her office, a yawn escaping her lips as she put her things down. She took a sip of the coffee in her hand before sitting down at her desk, just as Sonny poked his head into the office.

"Lieu, we got another rape – vic was round raped and beaten this morning in an alley by a bodega owner; she's being taken to Mercy right now."

"Shit," Olivia muttered before standing up, "You and Rollins go talk to the bodega owner, me and Fin will go see the vic."

Carisi nodded before leaving out with Amanda. Fin, whom was now on the phone, had grabbed the keys to the squad vehicle and was now waiting for Olivia. She grabbed her phone before leaving with Fin, both of them having a sickly feeling in their stomach that this was going to be a tough case for a lot of reasons.

They arrived at the hospital in no time, and immediately, the doctor directed them to the room of their victim. As soon as they walked in, Olivia had to stop for a second, especially as she caught sight of their victim and the people in the room.

Their latest victim was Kathleen Stabler, and in the room with her was Kathy Stabler and little Elliot Stabler Jr. – or Eli.

"Aunt Liv!" the little boy burst out, rushing over to her. He was ten years old now and even though he hadn't seen Olivia for years, he still remembered her vividly and had always been very fond of her.

"Hey Eli, wow you've gotten so big," Olivia gave a small smile as she wrapped her arms around the little boy, "You doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good Aunt Liv," he then glanced over at Kathleen before looking back up at her, "Are you gonna help my sister?"

"Of course I will, sweetheart; I promise." She gave him a smile, before allowing him to greet Fin as he hadn't seen him in a while either. Olivia sighed out and walked over to the bed, giving Kathy a smile before looking at Kathleen, "Hey Katie."

"Liv, please; please help." Kathleen's bottom lip was trembling, a sign that she was close to breaking down again. Olivia glanced back at Fin, who took the hint and took Eli's hand, leading him out of the room as he didn't need to hear this. Olivia then sat on the other chair at the other side of Kathleen's bed, taking her hand before speaking, "Okay sweetheart, tell me what happened."

Kathleen then went onto explain her own attack, explaining that it was late last night when she was walking back to her apartment from work. She explained that she too was attacked from behind, and how she was forced to stay on her front whilst he violated her in the worst possible way. Olivia noted how similar this rape was to Maureen's rape, and this certainly was not a coincidence. Something in her gut was telling her this was Leeson, but with no way to ID him, they just had to hope for a DNA hit to link him to this.

Olivia engulfed Kathleen in a huge hug once she was finished talking, whispering to her that things would be alright and they would capture this person as quickly as possible. Just as she stood up to go find Fin, the door opened and once again, that familiar voice filtered through her ears;

"Kathleen!"

"Dad!" Kathleen burst out. Elliot came rushing across the room and immediately wrapped Kathleen up in a hug, the young girl bursting into tears on her father's shoulder as she cuddled him tightly. Olivia stepped around them before gesturing for Kathy to join her outside the room. The blonde followed, and for a moment, both women were at a loss of what to say. However, Olivia instantly was able to pick up on the obvious tension between her former partner and the woman before her, which gave the indication that things were not great within their relationship at all.

"Olivia."

"Kathy."

The two chuckled slightly at each other, before Olivia then spoke again; "You first."

"Thank you for being here, you've always been one of Kathleen's favorite people." Kathy remarked, giving her a small smile.

"I'm just doing my job," Olivia smiled before continuing, "Um, Kathy, we have reason to believe that Mareen and Kathleen's rapes are connected to someone Elliot and I collared in the past, so for safety, I need to know where Elizabeth is so I can get her some protection, and I need to know where Dickie is as well for his own protection."

"Dickie is in North Carolina at the moment, he's in the army so he's stationed there, but Lizzie is in Manhattan," Kathy looked at her watch, "She might be on her way to work; she works at _The Ledger_ – I text her and told her what was going on but told her not to come until she was on her lunch break."

"Okay, I'll head over and talk to her and I'll get a detail on her as well." Olivia nodded, pulling out her phone. As she turned to walk away, she felt Kathy grab her arm which captured her attention.

"Liv, you know he's been a mess over these last few years." She spoke in a hushed tone, nodding her head in the direction of Elliot whom was sat on the chair inside the room, talking to Kathleen.

"Kathy, please don't," Olivia sighed, glancing at Elliot through the window before looking at Kathy again, "I know I should talk to him but it isn't exactly easy to do so, not after so long."

"I urged him to call you; he wouldn't talk to me so I at least hoped he would talk to you," Kathy sighed, folding her arms across her chest, "We've been divorced for four years now; so about two or three years after he left SVU. I just couldn't handle it anymore, and I did make a mistake, but overall the marriage was over long ago but we just tried to make it work for Eli I suppose."

"Kathy, why are you telling me this?" Olivia wondered, raising an eyebrow.

"Because I knew I lost him long ago, and I know where he's always wanted to be even when he refused to admit it to himself," Kathy then reached out, looping her finger around the silver chain hanging around her neck which dipped into her shirt, "Besides, there's got to be a reason he gave you this, and a reason you're wearing this now." The flicked the chain until the pendant was revealed, it being the _Semper Fi_ medallion which Olivia had put back on earlier after her shower.

"Kathy, I-"

"Mom, Aunt Liv; look, me and Uncle Fin got a present for Kathleen."

Both women looked up as Eli came wandering over to them with Fin behind him. The little boy was holding a pink giftbag with a balloon tied to it that read _Get Well Soon._ The bag contained a fluffy teddy bear as well with a pink shirt on, as well as a card that Eli had picked out himself.

"That's good buddy, Katie will really like it," Kathy ruffled her son's hair, "Hey, why don't you go in and give her the present, your Dad is in there too."

Eli nodded happily, his face lighting up at the mention of his father. He gave a high five to Fin and a quick hug to Olivia, before rushing off into the room. Fin and Olivia too decided they best head off too, especially since now they had to go talk to Elizabeth and organize for her to have a protective detail until they figured out who they were working with and caught the bastard. As they bid Kathy farewell and turned to wander off, Olivia was forced to stop in her tracks when she heard Kathy's voice;

"I know you never did Olivia, not physically at least."

Olivia turned to her; Kathy sighed and gave her a sad smile.

"The emotional was out of your control, but I'm at least glad it wasn't physical."

With those final words now having rolled off her tongue, Kathy then turned to go back into the hospital room. Olivia stood in the corridor, allowing Kathy's words to register within her. Tears filled her brown eyes, and had Fin not been calling her name as he had been holding the elevator door for her, she would have stood right there and cried her eyes out.

She swallowed hard and blinked back tears, before turning on her heel and jogging to catch Fin in the elevator. She saw the obvious concern in his eyes, but she was grateful that he didn't press the issue to try and make her talk. He knew that she would talk in her own time, but right now, she needed a moment to gather herself and her thoughts.

But for now, they had a job to do and they wouldn't rest until it was done…

* * *

The building for _The Ledger_ was crawling with staff and security as journalists and interns filtered throughout, going to their respective places to begin another exciting day with the newspaper. The dark haired girl was wandering into the building in a casual, navy blue dress that stopped at her knees along with a pair of black flats, teamed with a leather jacket and a black bag. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and a pair of black rimmed glasses covered her blue eyes.

She had no idea that she was being watched.

She was the third target on his quest to ruin the Stabler girls, to make that son of a bitch suffer; both him and his partner. They had embarrassed him by arresting him in front of his staff, costing him his job and all credibility and respect. He had been planning this day since he first was tossed in a prison cell with the scum of the earth following his sentencing nearly a decade earlier. Now, he was able to start his revenge; to hurt both of them, especially that bitch Olivia Benson.

But hurting her in the worst way would not involve actually going straight for her – oh no. No matter how much he punched the punching bag in the gym and imagined it was her face, or how much he dropped cigarette ashes onto pictures of her, or even how much he would relieve himself over photos of her, going straight for her would not make her break. No; what would break her the most would be to go for the ones whom she had considered her own family for a long time – those with the last name Stabler. Everyone knew how close she and that partner of hers were, but of course, he had known as well that Stabler had retired seven years earlier. However, he also knew that still, she would do anything for the Stablers because she had been so unbelievably close to them for so long.

He took a swig of his beer as he watched the dark haired girl walk into the building, licking his lips as his eyes fixated on her curvaceous bottom. He had already had the first two, and next was this one, before he settled on the wife. Then, he would go after his real target; that is, if she didn't surrender first to stop the suffering of others.

He pulled the baseball cap over his eyes more as a black, NYPD squad car raced past him and parked along the street just a few cars ahead of him. He was about to look away and start his engine to drive off, when a familiar face caught his eye and caused a sinister smirk to appear on his lips.

There she was; she was older, but she still looked young and fresh. Her body had filled out more than it already had been when he'd had his first encounter with her; black skinny trousers hugged her thick thighs and bottom, a blue shirt was tucked into he trousers, and a long black coat was over her shoulders while black heeled boots elongated her legs. Her hair hung loosely around her shoulders, bouncing slightly as she walked. He growled as he watched her and her partner walk inside, yet the smirk was still on his lips.

Maybe this would be easier than he thought. Maybe he could bypass the last Stabler girl, considering the one he really wanted had already thrown herself in the line of fire.

* * *

 **Leave me some reviews guys! I hope you've all enjoyed it so far; and I love you guys! xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys!**

 **I've been getting such great feedback on the past chapters, so here we are with chapter 4. I hope this one is great as well; and thank you guys for all the support!**

 **I don't own the characters obviously!**

 **WARNING: MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. PLEASE READ AT OWN RISK!**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 04**

"NYPD – open the door!"

The sound of locks clicking filled their ears, leading Amanda and Sonny to exchange a glance. The wooden door of the grungy apartment soon opened, revealing a dark haired guy whom was rubbing his eyes as he stood there in just a pair of sweat pants.

"Can I help you?" he groggily replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Adam Leeson?" Amanda asked. The man nodded, blinking a couple times before looking at them again.

"Yeah; what's it to you two?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm Detective Carisi and this is my partner Detective Rollins," Sonny introduced them, "You mind coming to the precinct to answer a couple questions for us?"

"Uh, okay sure," Leeson allowed the two to step into the apartment; the two stood in the doorway as he slipped on a pair of shoes and a hoodie, "What's this about anyway?"

"Two rapes, both with your MO," Amanda grabbed hold of his arm, slapping cuffs on him, "You're coming with us and you're going to answer our questions."

"Wait I didn't rape anyone; what the hell?" Adam began protesting, pleading his case while the two detectives continued to ignore him as they led him towards the exit of the building.

* * *

Meanwhile across the city, Olivia and Fin stood in the lobby of _The Ledger._ They had just informed the receptionist that they needed to see Elizabeth Stabler, and so now they were waiting in the lobby whilst enjoying cups of coffee that they had so desperately needed, especially Olivia, whose lack of sleep was starting to catch up with her.

"You're wearing that thing again?"

Fin's question caught Olivia off guard and confused her actually, leading her to look at him with a raised eyebrow. He nodded toward her chest and replied with, "The medallion."

"Oh…yeah," she breathed out as she fingered the piece of jewelry, "I just, I put it on last night and I don't know, I just don't want to be without it right now."

"Makes you feel safe even after all these years, huh?"

"Yeah." Olivia nodded her head as she pushed her glasses up onto her forehead. Fin was about to speak up again, when he was suddenly interrupted by a voice saying; "Olivia, Fin."

The two looked up, seeing a young, dark haired girl with glasses coming towards them. They immediately recognized her as the youngest Stabler daughter, Elizabeth Stabler. Though she still had those famous Stabler eyes and the smile, she had clearly grown up quite a bit since the last time they had seen her and truthfully, Olivia was certainly very proud of her.

"Hey Lizzie," she greeted the young woman with a smile, "It's been so long." The two exchanged a hug and Elizabeth gave Fin a high five, before she then led the two to a small, empty conference room so they could talk privately.

"So, what's going on? Is Maur okay?" Elizabeth asked, sitting across the table from the two. Fin and Olivia exchanged a glance, wondering why she had only asked about one sister versus asking about both Maureen and Kathleen.

"Um, Maureen is fine sweetie, but have you talked to your mom?" Olivia asked. Elizabeth gave a confused look and shook her head.

"No, not since last night," she looked between the two law enforcement officers, "Why? What's going on?"

"Liz, Kathleen was attacked as well and they found her this morning," Fin immediately took her hands when he saw the horrified look come across her face, "Hey, calm down; she's fine, shaken up but she's fine." He stopped and hesitated, and Elizabeth's eyes went wide.

"What is it?"

"Lizzie, honey; we have reason to believe that a guy from our past is targeting you girls for revenge on your father and me too probably, and we just-"

"Typical," Elizabeth scoffed, shaking her head, "I knew that job was dangerous for not only him, but for us too; you two have pissed off so many people over the years."

"Lizzie, listen we came to talk to you because we wanted to warn you, and to let you know that a protective detail will be on you at all times," Olivia continued talking, keeping her voice calm, "Sweetheart, don't you worry; we are going to catch this son of a bitch – I promise."

"I trust you guys, so I know you will," Elizabeth took a deep breath, "I need to call my mom, but thank you guys for warning me and thank you for protecting us, even after…you know." She shrugged. Olivia and Fin nodded their heads, telling her they were only doing their jobs. Olivia sensed that Elizabeth wanted to say something else, but she didn't push it as she had a hunch that it was something else that would draw her into wondering what the hell Elliot had gone through over the last seven years.

Elizabeth walked the pair out to the lobby and gave them both a hug as a farewell. As Fin and Olivia turned to head back outside to the car, Elizabeth grabbed Olivia's arm, capturing her attention.

"Liv, please don't think that Dad stopped caring about you, because he didn't." she spoke softly, her blue eyes pouring into Olivia's brown ones. Olivia sighed, shaking her head as she broke eye contact with her.

"Lizzie, honey, I-"

"We begged him to talk to you, even after his and Mom's divorce, but he kept saying you probably hated him," Elizabeth continued talking, still holding on to Olivia's arm, "I'm sorry that it's taken something like this to bring you both back into each other's lives, but maybe it's a sign."

"Lizzie, sweetie I'm gonna worry about this case first, then maybe I'll talk to your father." Olivia assured her.

Elizabeth eyed her for a second, before nodding her head. She gave her yet another hug before wandering off, leaving Olivia to sigh to herself as she made her way outside. She slipped into the passenger seat of the squad car, a sigh escaping her lips as she rested her head against the window.

"Liv, what's wrong?"

She turned her head; Fin was looking at her, concern being evident in his eyes. She took a few moments to compose herself, tucking some of her hair behind her ear as she glanced down at her phone.

"I need to talk to Elliot," she looked up, "After this case is over."

"I think that's a good idea, Liv." Fin nodded his head. Olivia sighed and looked out the window, her mind starting to swirl with thoughts whilst Fin began driving them back to the precinct.

* * *

A short while later, the squad was hanging around the precinct, trying to get their case together. Though DNA hadn't come back yet, they were just waiting for it to come in so they could lock up Adam Leeson. He had willingly given a DNA sample but continued to deny any involvement in the rapes of the Stabler girls. Amanda and Sonny had been questioning him for the last hour, and now Fin and Olivia were watching the interrogation along with their Assistant District Attorney, Peter Stone.

"I think you guys have got the wrong guy." Peter remarked as he watched the two detectives interrogating their suspect.

"His alibi was a load of shit and the MOs are the same, so I think we've got reason to question him." Fin scowled, looking at the man.

"He's been denying it for hours." Peter argued in response.

"And that's what perps do, deny it until we slap the proof dead in their damn faces." Fin replied. He and Stone hadn't been seeing eye to eye since the new ADA started some months earlier, though it was because Stone always seemed to piss Olivia off by criticizing some of her job skills which would in turn piss Fin off as he hated when someone did that to Olivia, especially someone who was hardly taking a chance to get to know her and how she worked first.

"Don't start guys," Olivia ran her fingers through her hair, "Fin, do me a favor and call Warner to see if we've got anything yet."

"On it." Fin remarked. He eyed Peter before walking out of Olivia's office, while Olivia continued to watch the interrogation. There was silence for a second, before Peter spoke up again – and with a question that caught Olivia off guard.

"When were you going to tell me that the victims of case are the daughters of your former partner?"

She froze; now tuning out the interrogation as the question fron Stone filtered through her head. She knew what would happen if someone had found out, and now she was wondering how the hell Stone did find out about that. She took a deep breath to prepare herself for the questions or accusations that would follow, as she knew Stone had a different mindset to her and would probably start telling her that she needed to be off the case. Or worse, he would threaten to call Chief Dodds about her involvement and closeness to this case, something she didn't need as Dodds was already watching her closely for some reason.

"Why does it matter?"

"Don't start that, Olivia," Peter reached around, turning the knob to lower the volume so they could not hear much of the interrogation anymore, "You're too close to the case."

"I haven't seen these people in seven years, so I'm hardly that close." Olivia retorted, folding her arms across her chest.

"But you used to go to bat for the entire Stabler family," Peter saw Olivia's eyes go wide; "Yeah, the DA's office talks a lot about this squad, and Brian Cassidy especially knows how close you and Stabler were."

Olivia gripped onto the material of her blazer, her nostrils flaring slightly. God knows it was taking some time to get used to this man and his bluntness, but to now hear that he had been discussing her and Elliot with Brian Cassidy of all people was a new blow. Now, she wanted to not only punch this guy in the face, but to head down to the District Attorney's office and punch Cassidy as well – something that she had already been wanting to do since the fall when he and his big mouth almost cost her the custody of her son.

She swallowed as she looked away; she refused to even acknowledge this conversation right now.

"How close were you and Stabler? I've heard rumors and-"

"And none of the fucking rumors are true," Olivia immediately shot back, a hint of defensiveness in her tone, "Just mind your fucking business okay; you're here about this, not about me and El."

"Seven years apart and you still call him _'El'_?"

Olivia grumbled quietly, closing her eyes for a second as she was about to flip.

"Liv, look who's delivering our results today."

Olivia opened her eyes again, a small smile forming on her lips when she saw the Chief Medical Examiner – and long time friend of the SVU squad – Melinda Warner, walking in with Fin trailing behind her.

"I'm so glad to see you," she breathed out, giving their longtime friend a hug, "We got a hit?"

"Not to Leeson, no." Melinda replied. Olivia and Fin's face fell, while Peter rolled his eyes and spoke up; "Cut him loose."

"No shit, obviously we have no choice." Fin grumbled, storming into the interrogation room. He emerged a few moments later with Adam, whom quickly walked out, muttering something about suing the NYPD whilst Fin walked him out. Amanda and Sonny headed back to their desks, while Peter went out to join them. Melinda lingered behind in Olivia's office, and as soon as the others were distracted, she closed the door to the office which captured Olivia's attention as she folded her arms back across her chest.

"Mel, what is it?"

Melinda was fiddling nervously with the file in her hands, a sigh escaping her lips as she looked down at the paperwork again. She hated what she was about to reveal, but it was important that they knew who they were about to be dealing with, especially for the safety of not only Olivia, but for Elliot and his family, and possibly the whole squad as well.

"Liv, we got a hit on the DNA from Maureen and Kathleen, on someone else that was in the system." She spoke slowly.

"Okay," Olivia stepped closer, "Who is it?" She hated when anyone was beating around the bush, but something in Melinda's eyes and her tone of voice was putting her on edge.

Melinda hesitated for a second before sliding the file into Olivia's shaky hands. Olivia looked down at the paperwork in the file, and immediately, her breath became caught in her throat. She felt like she couldn't breathe, her hands began to shake slightly, her heart was pounding, and her vision became slightly blurred. She could hear Melinda calling her name, but her voice was muffled as she began to sway slightly.

Her knees buckled and she felt Melinda's arms go around her, whilst the open file slipped from her hands and landed on the floor, revealing the person that the NYPD now had to find before it was too late.

 _Lowell Harris._

* * *

 _ **DUN DUN.**_

 _ **Leave your reviews guys! I love you all xoxo**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! I've been loving your responses to this story so far, especially to the last update. I love you all!**

 **NOW HERE WE GO - PART 5. Remember, MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. READ AT OWN RISK.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 05**

"Watch your step, Liv."

"I'm fine really, Fin; I just got a little overwhelmed."

It was just after three in the afternoon when Olivia was making her way into her apartment, though Fin was walking her in as he was quite worried about her following her episode in her office a few hours earlier.

Following the news that they were now looking for Lowell Harris, Olivia had nearly fainted in her office which caused Melinda some concern and led to her shouting for the others to help her. Fin, Amanda, and Sonny had all rushed in and helped look after Olivia; Melinda and Amanda kept dabbing her face with a damp napkin while Sonny and Fin gathered her some water and such to help her relax. Though Olivia insisted she was fine and was determined to work for a few more hours, a stress induced headache had crept in and prevented her from doing so. Thus, finally as the time neared three, she decided she would go home. Of course, Fin wouldn't accept the fact that she would walk home, especially as she did feel a little dizzy still, so he drove her home and walked her into her apartment.

As Fin put her bags down for her, she quietly moved through her lounge and kitchen area, putting her bottle of water aside before going to her bedroom. She kicked her shoes off and removed her gun, badge, and blazer, before returning to the lounge. Fin was grabbing a small blanket from the hallway closet and immediately urged her to lay down, something that she didn't bother to argue with as she laid down on the couch whilst still dressed in her shirt and skinny trousers she had worn to work.

"Is the protective detail on Elizabeth?" she asked, looking up as he pulled the blanket over her.

"Protective detail is all taken care of for Liz, so don't you worry about that baby girl, you get some rest," he tucked the blanket around her before standing up properly, "Lucy is gonna bring Noah to the precinct and Amanda will take him with her for dinner and stuff then she'll bring him here; you just get some rest and relax."

Olivia nodded her head, breathing out. She knew that Fin was right; she shouldn't be worrying like crazy right now. However, this was something that was putting her on edge. Lowell Harris had always hated her guts after what happened, but the fact that he had gone straight for what would hurt her the most was bothering her tremendously. Everyone knew that Olivia hated for anyone to be hurt because of her, but the fact that Harris went for the Stabler girls meant that he was really trying to hurt her as deep as possible. Everyone knew how close she and Elliot had been and how close she had been to his family, so it was no doubt that Harris had somehow known this too.

But she wondered if Harris as coming after her too, and with having Noah around now as well, that put her on edge.

"Baby girl, we're putting a detail on you too."

Her head snapped up and her eyes went wide. Fin was giving her a stern look, and she instantly sighed as she knew that there was no point in arguing with him about it. Normally, she would have argued against it, but having Noah now prevented her from even thinking about doing so because she had to do as much as possible to protect her son. If having a protective detail would do just that, then so be it.

"Fine." She grumbled, closing her eyes back and rubbing her hand over her face.

Fin left a short while later, leaving Olivia alone with her thoughts. There was no way she was going to sleep after learning about who their perp actually was, but with being alone now and with nothing to distract her, her mind was in overdrive.

She knew more so than ever that she needed to call Elliot and talk to him about what was going on, because he did need to know who they were dealing with. However, she also knew that when she did tell him, she would have to tell him everything that happened to her as well regarding Harris. She had never told him about what happened when she was under cover at Sealview; the only person that knew even to this day was Fin – and her therapist she had seen after the fact for her PTSD. Other than that, no one else knew; not even Elliot.

She was worried about what Harris was capable of. The fact that he was really going after innocent girls just to get to her was almost frightening. It showed that he didn't care, that he had absolutely no heart or no regard for anyone. He wanted to make Elliot suffer because he knew that it would hurt her the most and make her vulnerable.

And it was hurting her, and she was so vulnerable.

She simply laid on her couch, staring at the ceiling for a while as a million and one thoughts ran through her head. Talking to Elliot was inevitable when it came to this case at the moment, but with talking to him, they would have to talk about the last seven years. She wasn't sure if she was ready to drag up everything from the last seven years, and she damn sure wasn't ready to face what they had danced around and ran from for all those years. She knew that her feelings would come running back in full force as soon as she and Elliot got everything out in the open, but she had just rid herself of him completely and managed to survive a day without thinking about him all the time. Part of her was cursing the fact that this had happened now and brought him back into her life, yet another part was glad something - even though these weren't the most ideal circumstances - had pushed them back into each other's lives because despite everything, deep down in her soul, she missed him.

She had missed him so much over the last seven years, no matter how angry she ever was. _She. Missed. Him._

Olivia hadn't even realized a couple hours had passed by until she happened to catch sight of her watch on her wrist, which signaled to her that it was just after five in the evening. She moved to grab the remote when her attention was suddenly captured by a knock at the door. With a confused expression on her lips - and due to being generally on edge anyway, she rushed to her bedroom and grabbed her gun, before making her way to the door. She checked the peephole, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw that it was only Amanda. She put her gun on the high shelf before opening the door, a smile on her lips when Jesse and Noah walked in with Amanda behind them.

"Thanks again Amanda." She breathed out, glancing downward as she felt Jesse and Noah hugging her legs. She closed the door and locked it, before kneeling down and hugging both children properly.

"Auntie Livie." Jesse gave her a smile, cuddling her tightly. Olivia kissed her cheek before hugging them both properly again.

"Mommy, Auntie Amanda said you didn't feel too good today." Noah spoke up, his little eyes full of concern as he looked at her.

"No buddy, Mommy didn't feel well but I'm okay now, I promise." Olivia replied, tapping his nose. She kissed his cheek before standing up again. Noah ran off to his room to put his things down while Jesse helped herself to Noah's toys in the corner as she always did and began playing with some blocks.

"How you feeling?" Amanda asked, looking up at Olivia from her spot on the floor.

"I've just got a headache, but other than that, I'm fine," Olivia shrugged, "You guys have any luck finding his address?"

"Nothing, and there's no connection to Leeson either, not that we've figured out right now but hopefully we'll be able to find some more tomorrow." Amanda explained. Olivia nodded, sitting down on the sofa and looking down at her hands. Amanda could tell that she was worrying about Harris but was trying to be strong.

"Mommy, look!"

The two were distracted by Noah coming back into the lounge; a sweet smile on the little boy's face as she held a picture in his hands. He plonked onto the sofa beside Olivia and showed it to her; the picture alone leading Olivia to smile. It was clearly meant to be a picture of the two of them together, as there was a tall figure and a short figure. The tall figure had long hair and was wearing a police outfit, while the shorter figure was wearing jeans and a shirt. Under the tall figure, it read _Mommy_ and under the shorter figure it read _Me_ , and in the corner of the photo, the words _Noah Porter-Benson_ were spelled proudly in green crayon.

"Thank you my sweet boy, I'm gonna frame it and put it in my office," Olivia smiled and kissed her son's cheek, "Hey, why don't you and Jesse play with blocks and watch TV while me and Auntie Amanda have a chat?"

"Okay Mommy!" Noah smiled. He then made his way over to Jesse and sat down with her; Olivia smiled as he seemed to slip into protective mode over her as he played nicely with her. She then put the television onto some cartoons, before she and Olivia then went over into the kitchen area so they could speak quietly without the children hearing.

"Liv, I know you're worried, but we'll get this guy." Amanda assured her.

"No, no Amanda you don't understand," Olivia sighed before leaning closer, "It isn't just a coincidence that he raped two of the daughters of my former partner, the exact partner I had when I collared him. This is to get back at not only Elliot, but especially me – and he knew that going after the Stabler girls would get me involved as quick as possible because I'll do anything for them."

"Do you think he will come for you? Harris I mean?" Amanda wondered. Olivia sighed, leaning against the counter as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"I don't know, but I don't wanna take any chances hence why I agreed to the protective detail and I'll have a squad car outside Noah's school." She replied. Amanda nodded her head. A silence fell over the two women, but something playing on Amanda's mind caused her to speak again.

"Stone was talking earlier while you were in your office with Warner," she shrugged before looking up again, "How much of the rumors about you and Stabler were true?"

"Oh my God, can we not go there?" Olivia rolled her eyes as she proceeded to distract herself my grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

"It's just, people were always talking, I know I heard a lot when I first started up here – everyone was whispering about Benson and Stabler." Amanda urged her to explain, leaning her elbows on the counter. Olivia gave her a look as she took a swig of her water.

"Honestly Amanda," she paused for a second, biting her lip before finding some words again;

"Elliot and I always had this connection that just couldn't be explained, literally from when Cragen first introduced us. We just clicked and were so close, like this team; he was the rage and anger and one that would punch a perp in the face, I was the passion and comfort and one to hug a victim; together, we were unstoppable. It was about eight or nine years into our partnership I think when a psychologist we'd worked with before – she was called Rebecca Hendrix – actually said that we were too close; something about a mutual reliance and emotional dependence or something, and Cragen apparently considered splitting us up but Hendrix warned him that if he did, we'd both go because we couldn't function without each other. Elliot and I would go to bat for each other; he'd kick someone's ass if they even looked at me wrong or he'd step in if Tucker or Langan or even Cragen would get out of line when talking to me. I was always sticking up for him so he wouldn't get into trouble, even though it was his choice to join me on stupid ideas, and God knows I saved his marriage more times that I care to admit. I became really close to his kids as well, and I even helped deliver his youngest son, though that's another story for another day. Basically, Elliot and I were peas in a pod; we were partners for almost thirteen years, longer than anyone in the NYPD. Before me, I think he'd had three partners within a few years, so I was his longest, we were like best friends. That's why it hurt so much when he…left."

The last word rolled off her tongue in a whisper, and she looked down at her hands as she leaned back against the counter. Amanda had always heard just about everything that Olivia told her, especially how close they were. However, with the look on Olivia's face now, she wondered if it was something deeper. Hell, she had always wondered if there were deeper feelings between the pair, because she remembered so vividly how Olivia was in those few weeks following Elliot's departure, which were her first few weeks working with the Special Victims Unit. Olivia had been cold and distant during those times, and everyone put it down to her missing Elliot and kept saying she'd get over it.

But listening to her speak now, Amanda knew that she had never gotten over it.

"Liv, did you love him?"

Olivia looked up with a raised eyebrow, and the glint in her eyes showed Amanda that she knew exactly what was implied by the question. However, Olivia chose the safe response;

"Of course; he was my best friend."

Amanda gave her a certain look, and Olivia sighed as she folded her arms across her chest.

"He was married, and it doesn't even matter now if I did."

Amanda saw the tears fill her eyes and saw the obvious pain that was present. It was clear that she was not telling the whole extent about her feelings for Elliot, and Amanda certainly didn't want to upset her. However, she was still concerned about her and what was going through her mind as Olivia was one of her friends, and it killed her to see her so upset.

"Liv, have you talked to him?"

Olivia gave a raised eyebrow before shaking her head, sighing as she ran her hand up and down her face. Amanda placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently.

"You need to talk to him."

"I know, and I will – I promise, I just-"

The sound of her phone ringing captured her attention. Noah grabbed it and ran over, smiling at her as he announced that "Uncle Fin" was calling her.

"Yeah Fin?" she answered. She listened for a few moments, her face distorting from seriousness to concern as she listened. After a few moments, she hung up and sighed, leaning her elbows against the counter as she buried her face into her hands.

"What's happened, Liv?" Amanda cautiously asked, rubbing her shoulder.

"Fin got the address for Harris; him and Carisi went to the address but Harris wasn't there and hasn't lived there," she stood up straight, looking at Amanda again, "Okay, we need to start the fuck over – tomorrow, we need to start by seeing if there's a connection between him and Leeson and we need to look deeper than we did today, we need to figure out when and why he was released, and I need to talk to Maureen and Kathleen and…"

She swallowed hard before finishing her sentence, "…Elliot."

"We got your back, Liv; don't you worry." Amanda assured her. Olivia nodded, squeezing her arm.

She wasn't going to let Harris destroy her life. He hadn't destroyed her before, and he was damn sure not about to destroy her now.

* * *

He had followed the squad car to another apartment building in Manhattan; and now he was parked across the street. He had watched a uniformed officer follow his target up the stairs, watched as two other squad cars parked outside the building. He knew that this was too hot and too dangerous to do; he had to wait until things calmed down a little bit. He hated waiting. But maybe waiting would be a good thing. He could use this time to taunt Olivia Benson. Maybe he'd call her office, maybe he'd send her a message – he just wanted to start scaring her, to remind her that he was not one to be messed with and that he would always be in her mind, ready to drag her back down. He would always be with her, no matter how hard she tried to go to therapy and forget about him.

He watched as another car pulled up and parked. A tall man emerged, a very muscular guy that looked quite familiar. He smirked to himself; he knew who this was. It was the young girl's father, and Olivia Benson's former partner – Elliot Stabler.

He watched as Elliot talked to one of the uniformed officers before making his way into the building. Maybe targeting Stabler himself would get Benson's attention, or perhaps he would target Stabler's son Elliot Jr., considering how close Benson was to that child. Either way, he had to figure out some way to get her attention. He was going to figure it out, and he was going to get her – one way or another.

But for now, he just had to wait until the perfect moment…

* * *

 **Anddddd another update completed. Leave some reviews guys, let me know what you think.**

 **Much love to you all xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi everyone!**

 **The reviews I've had so far on this story have been amazing. I'm so glad that people are liking this, and I look forward to giving you more content as the days go on. So, here I am again, and here is chapter six. WARNING: MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. PLEASE READ AT OWN RISK.**

 **I don't own these characters (I wish I did!)**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 06**

The precinct was crawling with uniformed officers the next morning; the normal influx of workers dotted throughout the precinct. Olivia and her squad were sitting around at their desks, combing through the details of the attacks on Maureen and Kathleen whilst trying to find any indication of Harris and why his MO was similar to that of Adam Leeson. Fin was even currently on the phone with Rikers, though at the moment he was on hold as he waited to see if they could give him any information about Harris and how he had gotten out, or even of his life while being behind bars.

Olivia was typing away on her laptop when her office phone rang, startling her slightly and causing her to jump. She composed herself before picking the phone up to answer;

"Lieutenant Benson."

" _Benson, I'm on my way down there,"_ the voice of Chief William Dodds filtered through her ears, his words filling her with dread right away as she rolled her eyes, _"We need to talk, right now."_

"What did I do?" she wondered, rolling her eyes. She looked up as Fin walked up to her door, but she signaled for him to wait a second as she finished talking.

" _We'll talk when I get there."_ Dodds replied. Before Olivia could protest anymore, he hung up the phone, leaving her to simply look at the receiver for a second before she then rolled her eyes and hung up. Fin raised an eyebrow, only to then nod his head in understanding when she explained that it was Dodds and that he was on his way. None of the squad liked the guy as he always seemed to be sticking his nose in and giving them hell for no reason, especially Olivia, whom had done nothing but try to stay on his good side.

"What's up then?" she asked, pushing her glasses to rest on her forehead as she stood up.

"Talked to the warden at Rikers; she only took over a month ago so couldn't tell me much, other than Harris was already out by the time she got there and that she has no idea why he even got out with the charges against him." Fin explained. Olivia nodded her head, rolling her eyes as she folded her arms across her chest.

"That's great," she sarcastically spoke before sighing, "Okay; we're missing something, so I need you and Carisi to go talk to Leeson again and show him Harris's picture, and then after I talk to Dodds, me and Rollins will go talk to Maureen and Kathleen."

"And Elliot?"

Olivia's eyes immediately found Fin's, and the look on his face made her sigh as she finally nodded; "And Elliot."

Fin smiled before heading out of the office to go get Carisi. No sooner than he had left out, Olivia heard footsteps approaching her doorway again. She looked up from the file on her desk she was looking through, just in time to see Chief Dodds come through the door and close it behind him.

"Chief, what's going-"

"Were you gonna tell me this case you're working involves the family of your former partner?"

"Oh my God," Olivia groaned, immediately rolling her eyes, "Chief, with all do respect, it's a rape case and I'm doing my job; I haven't seen these people in seven years so it's not like my judgement is being affected by anything."

"You and Stabler were partners for almost thirteen years and I'm sure you got close to his family during that time; seven years isn't going to change that so spare me," Dodds took a deep breath before continuing, "You're off the case."

"Are you being serious?" Olivia asked, a shocked expression on her face.

"You're damn right I'm serious, Benson," Dodds stepped closer, his voice lowering as he spoke, "I've heard all about you and Stabler, so I'll be damned if I let you work a case involving his daughters when you'll be so quick to make a rash decision."

"Excuse me, and what exactly have you heard about me and Elliot?" she argued.

"Oh please, everyone has heard that you and him were sleeping together and that you were in love with each other," Dodds held his hand up, "You're too close and you're too personally involved, so you're off the case and that's final – Sergeant Tutuola can handle it."

Olivia's fists clenched, her eyes squeezed shut for a second and her nostrils flared. She had, had enough of this man and the stupidity pouring from his mouth. She wasn't going to let him accuse her of things that were never true, and she was damn sure not about to turn her back on the Stablers.

"With all do respect, you listen to me," she found her voice, stepping closer to him,

"Elliot and I _never_ slept together; we were too close that's true, but we never crossed that line – not when he was separated and damn sure not when he was married. It's true; I got really attached to his family and they became my family, and you're right, seven years has not changed that because at the end of the day, no matter what anyone says or thinks, I will go to bat for this family – a million times over. Now, you can say whatever you want, you can question my judgement and abilities, but I will not turn my back on these girls; I will find the son of a bitch that hurt them if it's the last thing I do."

Without so much as even waiting for a reply, she grabbed her phone and the file from her desk before storming out, gesturing for Amanda to follow her. Dodds remained standing in her office, a deep sigh escaping his lips as he ran his hand over his face and grabbed his phone, sending a text off as he walked to the elevator.

 _9:45am – Stone, I have no idea why you mentioned this to me. Benson was never going to leave this alone; you just stay out of it unless she needs you._

* * *

Olivia didn't speak too much during the whole drive out to Queens to the former home of Elliot, where Kathy still lived with little Eli. Amanda wondered why she wasn't speaking much, but decided not to press the issue and instead occupied her mind by reading through the file on Harris and asking Olivia questions every now and then if she had to. She could see from the look on Olivia's face that whatever Chief Dodds said to her had irritated her completely, but she also knew that Olivia would talk about it in her own time and so, Amanda respected that.

The two finally pulled in front of the two story home in Queens after about half an hour of driving. They got out and walked up to the front door; Olivia took a couple deep breaths before ringing the doorbell. She was having a couple flashbacks of coming to this exact house on various occasions just to talk to Elliot – and in the weeks following his departure as well – but she shook everything off as she stood there and waited.

A few moments later, the door opened and the smiling face of Kathy appeared. She opened the door and greeted Olivia with a peck on the cheek, then shook Amanda's hand once Olivia introduced them. Kathy then closed and locked the door, before leading them to the kitchen.

"Maureen will be downstairs in a minute, and Elliot is bringing Kathleen over – should be here in the next fifteen minutes or so," Olivia cringed slightly at the mention of Elliot but kept her attention towards Kathy as the woman kept speaking, "Could I get you guys anything? Tea or coffee or water?"

"Water please." Amanda smiled.

"A cup of tea would be nice." Olivia added. Kathy nodded and handed a bottle of water over to Amanda, before then putting the kettle on the stove so the water would boil for the tea.

Some moments later, as Kathy began engaging in conversation with the two law enforcement officers, Maureen appeared in the doorway. Olivia noted that she did look better than the other day; she still had a healing bruise on her forehead but her face looked fresher as she was dressed in a pair of joggers and a t-shirt. Her blonde hair was tied up in a bun and she wore a pair of fluffy socks.

"Hey Maur, you doing okay honey?" Olivia immediately greeted her as she stood up. Maureen nodded slightly as she came over to give their longtime family friend a hug. Olivia kissed her forehead lightly before pulling back and rubbing her shoulders.

"Honey, this is my detective, Amanda Rollins," she introduced Maureen to Amanda as the detective stood up to say hello properly, "Do you mind answering a few more questions for her? We hate to make you talk about it again, but it's the only way to try and catch this guy."

"No, I don't mind." Maureen spoke in a quiet voice. For a second, she was reminding Olivia of the teenaged girl she met all those years ago when she and Elliot first became partners. She had to actually remember that she was a grown woman, she had just gone through a very traumatic event.

Amanda spoke quietly to Maureen whilst leading her through to the lounge so they could talk. Olivia sighed and sat down at the kitchen table, a soft smile on her lips when Kathy sat a steaming mug of tea down in front of her before sitting on the seat that Amanda had previously been sitting on. An awkward silence loomed over them; the two had never been the best of friends but they were always cool with one another due to Elliot being the thing they had in common, and plus, Olivia did help save her and Eli's life those years ago as well. Truthfully though, they'd probably never be best friends, and that was no doubt because Kathy had always known how deep her own husband's feelings went for the woman whom was his partner at work.

"Steven – her husband – is having a hard time handling this but he's trying to be supportive because he loves her so much." Kathy spoke after a few moments of silence, capturing Olivia's attention. She gave a small smile before taking a sip of her tea.

"It can be hard to deal with victims, especially if you aren't used to working with them, and if the person doesn't want to consider themselves a victim," she shrugged, "My ex; he couldn't handle victims – not even when he worked with the unit; and me, I never wanted to consider myself a victim; so when we were together after my ordeal with Lewis, he had a hard time handling me, especially because I wouldn't talk to him about it."

"Brian Cassidy right?"

Olivia raised an eyebrow, to which Kathy chuckled and explained; "Kathleen kept tabs on you and found out you were dating him."

"Kathleen always did look out for me much like her father did," Olivia glanced down at her cup of tea before looking up again, "Kathy, erm, can I ask – what happened?"

"What happened with what?" Kathy gave a confused look as she picked up her tea to take a sip.

"With Elliot, after the shooting."

Olivia watched as Kathy took a sip of her tea whilst sighing as well. Once she swallowed, she took a moment to compose herself before looking up again. Olivia could see that she was trying to find the right words to say and how to say them, and that she just needed a moment to figure it all out.

"Liv, he-"

"Mom, are you here?!"

A familiar voice filtered throughout the house, interrupting Kathy straight away as she looked towards the doorway which could peer out into the foyer of the Stabler home. Olivia looked up as a figure entered the kitchen, a soft smile forming on her lips when she saw Kathleen coming into the room. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt with a hoodie and Converse on, and though her face still displayed some bruises from being beat up, she was alright for the most part.

"Where's your father?" Kathy asked her daughter.

"Parking the car, he'll be inside in a minute because he wanted to talk to you about Eli," Kathleen replied before falling into Olivia's arms for a hug, "And what's brought you all the way out here? Everything okay?"

"Well sweetheart, I just need to ask you some more questions to be honest, anything to catch this guy." Olivia explained, cupping the younger girl's face. Kathleen nodded before snuggling into her again, taking a deep breath whilst Olivia continued hugging her.

"Kath, what are the police doing-"

The familiar voice caused Olivia's heart to start racing, and judging by the way it suddenly stopped, it was clear that he was just as surprised to see her again. Olivia was still slightly angry, but she refused to be cold towards him this time. This was about getting justice for his daughters and so she knew she had to be cordial towards him. Besides, her face was saying everything else anyway – it was saying that she didn't want to fight with him and she really wanted to see him and talk to him.

"Olivia, what are you doing here?" the way he said her name made her heart melt; the deep Brooklyn accent was like music to her ears and brought her some comfort.

"Um, I needed to ask Katie some more questions about what happened; we might be close to catching this guy." She explained, managing to keep her voice steady even though she was shaking with nerves. Elliot gave a soft smile as he came closer to her, his blue eyes still pouring into her own brown ones as he did so.

"I hope you do catch the bastard that hurt my girls," his gaze flickered from Kathleen to Olivia's face again, he spoke in a low tone, "Thank you for looking out for Lizzie too."

"No problem," Olivia nodded before turning to Kathleen, "Come on sweetheart, we need to talk."

Kathleen nodded, before leading Olivia out of the kitchen and down the hall to the study so they could talk in private. Olivia was just glad to be out of the kitchen and away from Elliot for a bit, because she could feel things that she had buried long ago slowly returning to the surface. She wasn't sure if she was ready to face that, so she was running away before it got too… _complicated._

There was that word again – _complicated._

* * *

About an hour again, Kathleen and Maureen had both completed their chats with Olivia and Amanda and were now curled up in the living room together on the sofa. Kathy had gone to pick up some items from the grocery store, and now Amanda was outside on the porch, talking to Fin on the phone to give him an update and get any updates from him. Elliot was in the kitchen reading the newspaper as he told Kathy he would stay with the girls until he returned. Olivia was checking on the girls and giving them the number to her therapist, urging them to seek counseling if needed. She had even gone as far as to give them her personal number as well, in case they needed anything.

She returned to the kitchen some moments later, stopping in her tracks when she realized that Amanda wasn't in there and Elliot was sitting there at the kitchen table. She slowly stepped closer, remaining silent as she pushed her glasses up to rest on her head whilst she packed up her files and grabbed her phone from where she'd put it on charge. She refused to look at Elliot as she packed her things up, but she could certainly feel him looking at her. She knew she needed to talk to him, especially with whom the DNA had hit on as their perp, but something inside her was stopping her from talking to him – _fear._

She had just picked up her files and turned to leave the kitchen, when he broke the silence; "Olivia."

She blinked a couple times and breathed out, before turning around to see him now standing up before her. He looked relaxed and handsome in a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt along with his sneakers, and part of her just wanted to jump on him, right here in this kitchen, and release the thirteen years of pent up frustration she'd built since the early days of being his partner.

"Yeah?" she found her voice and managed to make it sound as strong as possible.

"Thank you, for everything," he scratched the back of his neck in a nervous manner, "Uh – Liv, I mean _Olivia,_ can we maybe talk? When you're not busy? I understand you probably don't want to and that's okay, I deserve the silent treatment, but I just wanted to ask and-"

"El."

His head snapped up; Olivia knew it was at the mention of his nickname, something that rolled off her tongue so effortlessly, so naturally. His blue eyes softened as she gave him a soft smile whilst she tucked some of her hair behind her ear.

"We do need to talk," she sighed a bit as she clutched the folders tighter to her chest as she stepped closer, "It's important; it's about the case but we just need to get everything out in the open but-"

"Liv wait, you know you aren't supposed to talk to me about the case," Elliot eyed her for a second before his eyes went wide, "Wait, was the DNA from someone we collared?"

"I don't wanna say here, but I will say there's a reason why I put a detail on Lizzie," Olivia unlocked her phone and handed it to him, "Put your number in; I'll text you when I get back to the office and maybe me and you can either grab lunch or dinner, but we do need to talk about a lot of things."

Elliot nodded his head, his hands shaking slightly as he took the phone from her hand. He typed his name and number into her contacts and tapped the screen to add it in, before handing it back over to her. Their hands brushed against one another ever so slightly, and judging by the look in their eyes as they looked back at each other again, they had both felt it.

"Um, I should probably get-"

"Liv!"

Both Elliot and Olivia looked up as Amanda came rushing into the kitchen. Olivia was grateful for the distraction from her detective, as she felt herself starting to slip into a little moment with Elliot the longer she stared at him. Those blue eyes were drawing her in even more so than they had done during their entire partnership.

"Fin says he and Carisi have got something that we need to see right away," Amanda told her before sticking her hand out to Elliot, "It's been nice to meet you, Elliot; I'm sure I'll see you around, and under better circumstances."

Olivia rolled her eyes straight away. She knew exactly what Amanda was implying and God knows she wanted to strange her.

"Nice to meet you," Elliot shook her hand before looking to Olivia, whom had sighed as she looked up at him again, "So…yeah, keep me posted."

"Will do," she replied before squeezing his bicep, her heart rate increasing as she felt the muscle beneath her fingertips, "See you around, El."

"You too, Liv." Elliot replied.

Olivia nodded, giving a small smile before following Amanda to the door. Elliot walked them out, and Olivia didn't miss the way his hand brushed against the small of her back as it had done so many times in the past when he'd lead her out of a building or something. She glanced over her shoulder, giving him a smile to say thank you before she and Olivia descended the porch steps and got into the squad car. She started the engine, then beeped the horn before driving off to head back towards Manhattan.

And her heart was still going crazy, as she simply couldn't wait to finally sit down and talk to Elliot.

* * *

 **Another update has been completed. The next update is the one that contains a bit of E/O tension, but I won't give too much away. Leave some reviews for me please, greatly appreciated. Love you all xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone! You guys have been AWESOME with your reviews on here and with your feedback on Twitter (for those that read this and follow me there). I'm so glad that everyone is liking this story so far, so keep the reviews going because I enjoy reading those.**

 **Here we are guys - it's part seven. WARNING: THIS STORY MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. READ AT OWN RISK.**

 **I don't own the characters, but I wish I did.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 07**

"Lieu, Rollins – you're here; we've got something big!"

These were the words that left Sonny's mouth as soon as Olivia and Amanda stepped into the squad room after finally arriving back from Queens. The ride back had been less tense, and Amanda attributed that to the fact that Olivia seemed to be in a much better mood. She wondered what words had been shared between Olivia and Elliot, but she didn't want to push it, at least not right now.

"What we got?" Olivia asked as they made their way over to the large screen where Fin was standing. Fin pressed a few buttons on the computer before pulling up the two mug shots of Adam Leeson and Lowell Harris. Olivia cringed slightly at the sight of her attacker from ten years earlier, but she shook it off and looked at Fin as he began talking.

"We found the connection," he began explaining before pointing to the two guys, "Cellmates in Rikers for two years until Leeson requested to be moved, said Harris gave him the creeps when he was just trying to get his life together."

"Is that how he's ended up with the same MO as Leeson?" Amanda wondered, a perplexed expression on her face.

"Leeson said that in the first few months of being cellmates, they did talk about what landed them there and he told Harris about how he raped those girls, described his MO and everything and that's how Harris knew." Carisi replied.

"And there's no chance Leeson is lying?" Amanda asked.

"Nah; guy has really turned his life around completely – he's an honest guy." Fin replied.

"So wait, why did Leeson asked to be moved?" Olivia wondered as she sat on the table.

"Harris kept pushing him about his MO again, when Leeson was working on getting his life together; Leeson said Harris wanted him to reenact with him so he could understand the MO better." Fin explained, shuddering slightly at the thought. The others shook their heads in despair, looking at the two mug shots of the men on the screen. Olivia was trying to swallow the bile that was threatening to rise in her throat as she looked at her attacker. Even though it had been a decade, his face still sent chills down her spine and she hated feeling this way.

But she had to work this case. She had to get justice for the Stabler girls.

"Did Maureen or Kathleen say anything helpful?" Sonny asked.

"Maureen was telling me that the perp said _'bite me and you're dead'_ to her because he had his hand over her mouth, but other than that, she didn't get a look at him and didn't even recognize him when I showed her the picture of him." Amanda explained as she flicked through the file in her lap.

"Kathleen didn't get a look at him but she described his voice as rough, and he said _'bite me and you're dead'_ to her when he had his hand over her mouth," Olivia was speaking before looking up, realization hitting her as she stood up, "Oh my God."

"Liv, what is it?" Amanda asked. Olivia shook her head, standing up and rushing off to her office. She took a few deep breaths as she ran her fingers through her hair, trying to keep her composure as a flashback entered her mind…

* * *

 _She had run and managed to hide behind a stack of boxes. He caught her and hit her in the stomach with his baton, sending her doubling over in pain. He stood over her, but she refused to give him all the power. She found some strength inside her and hit him as hard as she could, before running off towards the door as quickly as possible._

 _She pulled on the heavy slab of iron, tears pooling in her eyes as she discovered that it would not budge due to being locked. She screamed for help as she banged her hand against the bars of the door, praying to the heavens that someone could hear her and would come to get her._

 _Though really, the doubt was starting to filter through her mind. She was undercover as prisoner in a women's prison were women were constantly being assaulted by the guards. Screaming for help would do nothing. They would simply turn a blind eye and protect their own._

 _She felt him behind her and turned around, only to be sent flying to the ground as he delivered a powerful slap to her jaw. She screamed and began crying as he grabbed her wrist, cuffing it to one of the bars on the door. She was powerless. She just knew that he was going to kill her once he was finished with her. She knew that she couldn't get out of this alive._

 _And all she could think about was where the hell Fin was, or hell, where Elliot was._

 _Elliot – she needed Elliot._

" _Bite me and you're dead."_

 _His rough voice filtered through her ears, words dripping with venom – she knew he meant it; he would kill her. She turned her head away and squeezed her mouth shut, but he grabbed her head, forcing her closer and closer to his crotch until suddenly;_

" _Freeze, NYPD!"_

* * *

"Liv!"

Olivia jumped, looking up from her desk as she saw Fin now standing before her, holding her shoulders. She looked at him before shaking her head, a couple tears slipping down her cheeks as she shook ever so slightly. Fin placed a hand on the small of her back before helping her sit down, sticking by her side as he knew exactly what was happening right now.

"Breathe Liv, nobody can hurt you anymore." He spoke in a calm voice. She nodded, swallowing and taking a swig from the bottle of water he had placed in front of her.

"I haven't had a flashback about him for so long," she swallowed before looking up at Fin with watery eyes, "That's what he said to me when he had me in the basement; he said _'bite me and you're dead'_ just like that."

She wiped her eyes before suddenly stopping, then looking up at Fin with wide eyes;

"It was a message for me."

"Liv, wait-"

"No Fin, no; he knew I would get involved in this case," she pulled out her phone as she spoke, "Can you hold it down here? I need a minute."

Fin hesitated for a second, before nodding his head and rubbing her shoulder; "Go take an hour or two; get yourself together."

Olivia thanked him, before watching as he walked out of her office and closed the door behind him. She grabbed her phone and began texting quickly;

 _'12:02pm – Meet me at O'Malley's by 12:30? That okay?'_

She pulled her jacket on and put her bag on her shoulder, just as her phone buzzed with a response;

 _'Elliot: 12:03pm – Got it; will be there'_

* * *

The small restaurant and bar a couple blocks from the precinct was sort of empty as Olivia entered; there being a few customers dotted around, a couple having lunch, some co-workers having lunch, and so on. There was soft music playing, the normal bartender, Robert, was behind the bar polishing a few glasses. The restaurant and bar just gave off its normal relaxed feeling, though Olivia was feeling anything but relaxed.

She was nervous about Elliot meeting her here.

They needed to have a talk – first about this case, then about everything else. He had a right to know who they were dealing with, as it was someone dangerous that they had dealt with in the past. However, there was part of her that was still angry and confused by him and sudden departure seven years earlier. She knew that Fin had told her to go easy on him as he had been through a lot over the last few years, but she needed answers and she needed them now. If they were going to move forward and even consider having their friendship back, she needed to know what the hell happened.

She smiled at Robert as she seated herself at the bar, and he did his normal question of whether or not she wanted a glass of wine, to which she declined as she was still on duty and had to go back to work. She opted for water with lemon instead, to which Robert nodded before wandering off to go get her drink.

The bell above the door chimed as the door opened again, capturing Olivia's attention from when she had looked down at her phone. She swallowed hard; the tall figure was wandering towards her. He still had on his grey t-shirt and jeans and his grey sneakers but wore a light grey hoodie over the t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up. She eyed him; his lips curled into a slight smile as he took the seat beside her.

"Hi Olivia."

"Hi Elliot."

The two simply stared at each other for a minute. Olivia felt an overwhelming mixture of emotions; happy to have him sitting down with her, sad for the years they missed out of each other's lives, anger due to him leaving her and not bothering to pick up the phone to call her. She wanted to hug him, yet she wanted to slap him as well.

"Here's your drink, Liv," Robert sat the fizzy drink down in front of her before smiling at Elliot, "Elliot Stabler, long time no see my man." The two men shared a handshake as Elliot gave a friendly smile to the longtime bartender.

"Good to see you again, Robert." He spoke.

"Likewise," Robert remarked before asking, "Drink? Scotch on the rocks or a beer?"

"Just a soda will be fine, man; I don't – um, yeah I can't." Elliot stammered slightly. Robert nodded before heading off to get Elliot's drink, while Olivia stood up with her drink in hand.

"I'll be over there." She gestured for a booth in the corner, to which Elliot nodded in understanding.

A few moments later, the two were seated across from one another in the booth. An awkward silence surrounded them as they sipped their drinks, it seeming that both parties were trying to find the words to say. Lunch hours together that were once filled with conversation or comfortable silences were now strained and uncomfortable, and Elliot knew that he was the one to blame for that. He had done this; he had left this for far too long while trying to get things in his life right, and now, he had to try and salvage the one thing – beside his kids – that actually meant something to him and gave him a purpose.

"Elliot." She broke the silence after a few more moments; he looked up from his fingernails and looked into her brown eyes. He could see that she was dying to say something or ask a million and one questions, but she was also struggling to find the words to say.

"Li – Olivia," Elliot corrected himself, refraining from using her nickname too much as things were far too complicated, "I – um – I don't even know what to start with, other than I'm sorry."

Silence.

"Olivia-"

"I know you're sorry, Elliot," she sighed before looking up at him,

"Elliot, you left and didn't say a word. I respected that you needed space and I gave you that, we all needed time off and we got it. But you ignored me when I was calling you, didn't text me back; nothing. Elliot, I – I thought you hated me and-"

"No, I never hated you; you have to believe that." He cut her off, touching her arm out of instinct.

"I knew the shooting had fucked you up, it fucked us all up, but El, I at least expected you to talk to me – we talked about everything, even the parts we didn't want to talk about." She took a sip of her drink, trying to control her emotions even though she just wanted to cry yet again.

"This was complicated, Liv."

"I was there, Elliot; I know it was complicated but-"

"No Liv, you don't know," he snapped back, his brow furrowed as tension began radiating between the former friends, "You don't know what it was like, to hold a teenage girl – a girl that was no older than my own daughter – in my arms after I shot her and watch her bleed out and die all because of me ; you don't know how that fucked with me. You may think you do because you saw it, but don't know."

"Then why didn't you talk to me? Elliot, I could've helped."

"Olivia, you couldn't have helped with this one; I was too far gone and then IAB wanted to go over my jacket, they wanted me to do anger management and therapy – I wasn't jumping through all the hoops to go back to a job that was taking so much away from me already."

"So that's why you left and didn't talk to me? I was part of that job that was taking so much away from you, and-" she tried to speak but Elliot stopped her.

"Olivia, stop right there and listen to me," he interrupted. "You were _never_ just part of the job and I don't want you to think you were; you were separate from that. You were the one that kept me grounded, Liv; we were best friends and you were my stability outside of that chaos. Hell, Liv you were the only one keeping me there."

"Exactly, _best friends,_ Elliot; I thought we were best friends too – we went through so much together, so that's why I didn't understand why I had to hear from Cragen that you had put your papers, that you still ignored me even afterwards when I just wanted to talk to you and figure out why." Olivia retorted, the obvious edge in her voice as she shook her head. Tears had now pooled in her brown eyes, causing them to look like melted pools of chocolate as they glistened in the lights of the establishment. She sniffled slightly and looked down, refusing to cry in front of him.

"Liv, if I had talked to you, I would've either not gone through with it or come to Cragen or someone to get the papers ripped up just so I could stay near you," he reached over and took her hand, a gesture that took her by surprise yet caused more tears to fill her eyes,

"I'm sorry, Olivia; I know that I owe you so much more than that, but please, you have to know how sorry I am. I should have talked to you, I know; I just – I couldn't do it Liv, seeing that shit we see every day and then having to go home to my family and try to get all that shit out of my mind but not being able to; that job was driving me insane. I never wanted to leave you too, Liv; just the job – but it was just, it was complicated."

Silence ensued following his statement, a couple tears dripped down Olivia's cheeks before she finally found her voice;

" _Complicated_ seems to be our favorite word." She spoke as a soft giggle escaped her life, leading for him to chuckle lightly as well.

"I am sorry, Olivia; I really am," he rubbed her hand with his thumb, "If I could take it back, I would; I would've talked to you – I still would've left, but I would've talked to you."

"I know you're sorry, Elliot, and I do forgive you because I forgave you a long time ago, but it's still hard to deal with and I'm still a little ticked off that you didn't at least tell me of your plans," she shrugged, "Twelve and half, hell almost thirteen years Elliot, we were partners for well over a decade and just, I thought it meant something to you because it damn sure meant something to me."

"It did mean something to me, Liv; I promise it did – it meant everything to me, you made work enjoyable," he sighed, rubbing his hand over his face, "It's just, the shooting with Jenna – damn it sent me over the edge, Liv; and then – I…" he trailed off, and Olivia raised an eyebrow.

"What?" she asked. She put her hand over his, rubbing with her thumb; "Tell me."

"Liv, remember when we said we wouldn't choose each other over the job again?"

She shuddered, she remembered that far too well. _Gitano_ – the situation that changed their relationship forever. She could hear Elliot's voice in her head now, speaking softly as if he was afraid he would break down if he spoke any louder;

" _We both chose each other over the job; we can never let that happen again."_

"Yeah." She muttered.

"I did it again, and I would do it a million times over," he swallowed, looking at her as he spoke, "When Jenna aimed the gun and shot Sister Peg, all I could think about was her shooting you and I just, Liv…Liv if she had and something happened to you, I would've never forgiven myself."

"Elliot-"

"I had horrible nightmares in the weeks following the shooting, but it wouldn't be Sister Peg, it was you that Jenna had shot and you that bled out in my arms. I'd wake up in a cold sweat, one night I actually almost called you just to make sure you were okay but I couldn't bring myself to contact you," he scratched at the hint of five o'clock shadow on his jaw

"I just – Liv, it's been a rough seven years and I promise you when this case is over and you give me the greenlight, then we will sit down and talk about everything. But bottom line is; I never stopped thinking about you, and I am forever sorry for everything, but for especially having you think you weren't important to me because you always were and forever will be important to me. I'll spend forever making things up to you, but I am sorry."

Olivia stared at him for a few seconds, his words dancing through her head. He had given her a glimpse of what he had gone through over these last few years, and while things were far from fixed and they still had a lot to talk about, she knew inside that all anger she felt towards him was now gone. She wanted to move forward and get their friendship back, and while that would take a lot of steps, she was ready to get started.

"I know, Elliot; I know," she rubbed his hand before finally smiling, "I promise I forgive you, and for the record, you always have been and always will be important to me."

"I'm just glad you haven't punched me in the face," he chuckled before squeezing her hand, "Right, I know we needed to get that initial stuff out of the way; so, what was it about the case that you needed me to know? You know who it is?"

Olivia took her hand away, taking a deep breath as she reached into her bag to pull out the file. She looked at the light colored folder; she knew the information inside and what she was about to tell him would cause a million and one questions and possibly an explosion of Elliot's temper because he already hated this man, but he had to know.

"Before I tell you this, I promise that I'll explain the full extent later, but just know that this is an old perp we collared and I think he's using your girls to get to me, because it's me that he wants." She spoke quickly. Elliot raised an eyebrow before holding his hand out.

"Okay, now you're really telling me who it is and what's going on." He grumbled. She slid the folder into his hand and he opened it, only for his eyes to go wide as he scanned the information on the page. He then looked up at her, and she could see the anger coursing through him as the vein began to bulge in his neck and his brows furrowed.

"Lowell fucking Harris, oh I remember this son of a bitch," he then looked up at her, "And he's after you? And he thought using my girls was smart to get to you? No; he will never hurt my family, and he will never hurt you and if he so much as even contacts you, I will track him down and kill him myself."

"Elliot, you're a civilian; there's not much you can do," she warned him as she took the file back, "I've got details on me, on Lizzie obviously and I'll tell Fin to get details on Maureen, Kathleen, and even Kathy and Eli."

"I'm still gonna protect you." Elliot shrugged. She furrowed her brow.

"Elliot."

"Do you trust me?"

The question caught her off guard, yet she didn't even have to think of the answer. No matter how much time they had spent apart and no matter how much she tried to be angry with him, the answer to this question would forever remain the same;

"With my life."

"Then I'll protect you with mine, I promise," he took her hand, staring straight into her eyes as he spoke;

"I don't care how long we've been apart – I'm your partner, for better or worse; and I'll always make sure your ass is covered."

* * *

 _ **I hope you guys enjoyed this, and there was just a little bit of E/O tension going on. Things are okay between our dynamic duo for now, but there may be more tension as time goes on. Until next time my friends xoxo**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone! Again I will say, the feedback I have received for this story has been remarkable. I thank you all for your support; I'm so glad you're enjoying this.**

 **This part will be a little different. I thought I should do a chapter from Elliot's viewpoint, so, here we go. This chapter is will be Elliot reflecting on his partnership with Olivia. I hope you all like this chapter, and I'll admit, I enjoyed writing it.**

 **Remember - THIS STORY MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. READ AT OWN RISK.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 08**

Elliot and Olivia continued talking for another half hour until Olivia decided that it was best she head back to the precinct as she knew her squad would start looking for her soon. Elliot sweetly paid the tab for them both, and even gave her a lift back to the precinct so she wouldn't have to walk – even though it was only a couple blocks. He just wanted to spend as much time with her as possible, and now that he knew who had attacked his daughters – and knew whom the guy was really after – he felt more protective over her than ever, despite the fact they had been apart for a while.

Once they pulled up outside the familiar building that he had once called a second home, he got out to walk her inside. However, as he stepped closer and looked up at the building as he stood on the sidewalk, an anxious, sinking feeling began to consume him. It had been seven years since he stepped foot inside this place, and now that he was standing there, he was starting to wonder whether or not he was strong enough to go inside again.

Sensing his hesitation, Olivia grabbed hold of his wrist. She moved to stand in front of him, and he tilted his head down to look at her again.

"What?"

"You don't have to walk me up, El; it's okay," she squeezed his wrist before letting go, "Um, I'll text you later? Be careful, and I'll get the details organized so the girls-"

"Benson!"

The voice shouting for Olivia captured the attention of the former partners as they stood. Elliot watched her face changed from comfort to a scowl as the man came towards them. He didn't recognize this man, but he could already tell that Olivia didn't like him and probably wanted to punch him in the face.

"Yes Chief?" she folded her arms across her chest; Elliot stepped back.

"I came to talk to you," the man then looked between her and Elliot, "Was I interrupting something?" He then stuck his hand out to Elliot, "Chief William Dodds; and I know you already – Elliot Stabler."

Elliot raised an eyebrow, but shook the man's hand anyway, "Nice to meet you, sir."

Chief Dodds grumbled something and told Olivia that he'd be upstairs in the squad room before heading into the building. Olivia rolled her eyes before turning to Elliot, whom simply chuckled as he stuck his hands into his pockets.

"He always like that?"

"He's been on my neck since I became Lieutenant," she rolled her eyes as she glanced back at the building again, "I better go, but be safe – I'll text you."

"You be safe too, Liv." He smiled.

Olivia squeezed his arm before walking back into the precinct. Elliot stood there until she was inside safe, before returning to the driver's seat of his car. He took a deep breath and glanced at the building once again, before finally pulling away from the curb and driving off. He had a lot on his mind really, and he knew exactly where to go to try and clear his head. Right now, his mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings; from the things that happened seven years ago, to feelings that he had tried to bury long ago, to the woman he had just dropped off at the 16th Precinct in Manhattan.

He arrived at Central Park and parked his car among others, before getting out and heading into the vast area. He stuffed his hands into his pockets as he walked down the path, nodding his head and shooting a smile to a few joggers or families he passed on his walk. He breathed out as he walked deeper down the path and found himself surrounded by more trees, the sounds of nature soothing him as he began to let his mind wander over his years in the Special Victims Unit, and his years with Olivia.

Working in the Special Victims Unit had always affected Elliot more than he let on, though occasionally, the anger would emerge from him and lead to him either blowing up at someone, or punching a wall or his locker, or slamming a perp against the wall. For the most part, however, Elliot would allow a lot of his feelings towards a situation to bottle up inside, as it had been instilled in him at a young age that showing his feelings was weak and something a man simply did not do. His father had told him that and he carried it with him though life, and he may not have enforced that on his own son, but it certainly stuck with him and led to him slowly losing a piece of himself as the years in the unit rolled on.

When Olivia came into his life, he had already gone through three partners within a few years. He still remembered the day Cragen introduced them; _"This is Detective third grade, Olivia Benson, a transfer from the five-five in the Bronx. She's your new partner."_ He remembered those brown eyes full of wonder, a smile that lit up a room, and the scrawny hand outstretched to him which he encased in his large hands in a friendly, introductory gesture. She had just earned her detective shield some months earlier, and while Elliot thought that she was incredibly nice and sweet, he was worried that she wouldn't be able to handle it because she seemed so delicate.

Boy – was he wrong.

Within the first few months of being partners, he learned that Olivia's delicate exterior was a mask, hiding the tough, strong warrior that she was inside. He'd seen her tackle perps twice her size to the ground with her hands, he watched her use her womanly features and sex appeal to gain confessions from the scum of the earth. He watched her in the shooting ranges when they'd have practice; she was a damn good shot even from yards away. He quickly learned that, despite that delicate frame being hidden under trousers and suit jackets, she was one of the toughest in the business and he couldn't have had a better person to watch his back.

Their relationship was always deeper than a partnership. Most partners wouldn't get together for drinks all the time or hang out at each other's places. There were times where he'd just go to her place after work, and they'd have Chinese take out and beer whilst watching sports or bad movies on television. Other times, she would go back to Queens with him and have dinner with him and his family. She got along so well with his family; the kids loved her straight away – Kathleen especially became attached – and despite Kathy being wary of her, she too got along with her as well. Olivia became a huge part of Elliot's life and went from being simply his partner, to one of his best friends in the world.

Guilt consumed him when he began seeing past the fact that she was his partner and best friend, but that she was so much more. She was a beautiful, attractive woman with curves in all the right places and a heart that was so beautiful, so full of fire and passion. She could calm him down in an instant by simply placing her hand on his arm. One look from those beautiful brown eyes and he already felt connected to her; they already knew what the other was thinking. She became his confidante, his source of comfort, his light during the darkest times. He was trying to deny it, constantly telling himself that Kathy was his wife and that he loved her and his family with everything in him and that Olivia was nothing more than his partner and friend.

God, he lied to himself for so long. Kathy was losing him emotionally, and he knew it, even though he wouldn't admit it out loud.

Olivia was there for him, when his marriage to Kathy began to crumble around him and when he began to spiral out of control. They would sit together and talk for hours, she helped him set up house at his apartment in the city after he moved out of the Stabler family home, and God knows she covered for him more times than even he could count. Even when his rage became so out of control and led to him lashing out at everyone around him – including her – she still became his source of stability. She never flinched or backdown from his temper. She would call him out on his shit and give it right back to him whenever he started on her. Of course, there would never be tension between them for long. A simple invitation for 'Chinese and beer' or a simple cup of coffee, and all was forgiven. It was their way of saying _'I'm sorry'_ ; it was simply the way they worked.

But then, a case just had to come along and throw their partnership off when they were already starting to see that this was deeper than what it was.

 _Gitano._ That name still sent shivers down his spine. From being in that bus station and seeing that bastard slit Olivia's throat, to hearing his own voice calling Olivia's name as he ran over to her, choosing _her_ over the little boy that he had been so close to saving. From finding out that Gitano had slit the little boy's throat and killed him before running off with the little girl, to then lashing out at Olivia due to the anger at the whole situation, leading him to direct his blame towards her when she was never at fault. From finding himself standing in Huang's office, being so close to admitting something that he had been denying for over a year at the time, to tracking her down and being held at gunpoint while she was forced to keep her weapon drawn, torn between the decision of aiming and risking Elliot being killed, or dropping her weapon all together – and still risking Elliot being killed.

They knew then. The horror in his eyes in the bus terminal when he thought he was going to lose her, the tears that ran down her cheeks as she mouthed that she was _sorry_ as she prepared to risk his life in hopes of hitting Gitano. They both knew that this was something deeper, and outside that Rebecca Clifford's hospital room, it all came to head.

" _We both chose each other over the job, and we can't let that happen again…otherwise, we can't be partners."_

" _I can't believe you're saying that."_

" _You and this job are about the only things that I've got anymore, I don't wanna wreck that – I couldn't take it."_

The conversation still sent shivers down his spine, and a couple days later when he walked into work and discovered that she was gone, his heart shattered. _"Computer Crimes – you two needed a break from each other."_ Was what Cragen had said. Elliot knew then that this was his fault because of what he said, but he also knew what Olivia was doing as well. Olivia had a history of running from things in her personal life when it grew complicated, and boy, was their fucked up partnership a complicated mess.

He questioned her hours later, when he turned to see her leaning against the doorway of the locker room. She had come down to check on him after hearing about his altercation with Detective Lucius Blaine, and with a look of hurt in his eyes and a wobbly voice, he asked;

" _Why didn't you tell me?"_

 _She sighed; "Elliot, we've been partners for seven years, longer than anyone else here; we needed a change."_

He remembered her next words, and remembered the sadness that was present in her eyes at the time;

" _I'm sorry, I should've talked to you. It was just…just too complicated."_

 _Complicated_ was always their favorite word.

Elliot continued to lose himself in the memories of his time with Olivia as his partner. Things weren't the same for a while following Gitano, and when she came back after two weeks of being in Computer Crimes, they continued to dance around each other, the awkwardness and tension building like a thick wall between two people that had once been so close. Elliot knew what they were really dancing around – the unspoken feelings that had become present during the whole Gitano case – but both parties were too stubborn and scared to admit what this was really about.

They had fallen in love with each other. They hadn't realized it until they almost lost each other, but it was obvious now, they were in love with each other – but it was _complicated._

And what did Olivia do next – ran away to Oregon for an undercover assignment with the Feds. Elliot still remembered the day he walked into work and found her desk cleared off of all pictures and files. He remembered how Munch and Fin joked that they didn't expect this from Olivia, and Elliot even chuckled with them and said that there was no way Olivia would leave without saying something first. He remembered asking Cragen, to which Cragen replied that he couldn't tell him where she was and that they needed the space for his _'new partner.'_

He didn't want a new partner, he wanted Olivia – and in ways that went beyond _partner._

He still remembered pain he felt in his heart when he called Olivia's landline, only to be greeted with; _"We're sorry, the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected."_

 _Disconnected._ Olivia was gone – and truthfully, he felt heartbroken.

When she returned six weeks later, they danced around each other again. He had just lost his temporary partner as she couldn't handle live victims, he was still reeling from drunkenly kissing her when all he had wanted to do was kiss Olivia. He didn't know that Olivia had come to talk to Cragen and had actually seen them together after he had come out of an interrogation, he didn't know that she had met his temporary partner either. Their first cases back together again, they were awkward and uncomfortable. She felt cautious around him due to her feelings being so strong, he was cautious due to his own feelings being so strong and the fear that she would run again if he gave any indication. However, one case finally pulled them back to where they needed to be, and one night on the stoop outside his apartment building, they seemed to fall right back into the normality of their partnership, yet they recognized that something was there;

" _Like you said, you're the longest relationship that I've ever had with a man – who else would put up with me?"_

He didn't want anyone else to put up with her, _he_ wanted to put up with her for the rest of his life.

Of course, despite being back together, something just had to throw them off track again – though this time, it was all his fault. A case almost cost him his job, an accusation that he had used excessive force which led to the death of a suspect. Olivia stuck by his side and fought for him, reminding everyone – especially Ed Tucker from IAB – that Elliot was not a killer. When he was cleared of all charges against him, in a moment of weakness, Elliot made a decision that he probably shouldn't have made.

He went home – to Kathy. And just a couple months later, he found out that she was pregnant, and it threw him for a loop. He remembered the change in Olivia's face and mood when he had told her, and it made him feel like a jackass. If only he hadn't been such a coward and had told Olivia how he felt, then maybe he wouldn't have gone to Kathy in that moment of weakness, and maybe he wouldn't have to go home.

He never regretted his son Eli. He loved the little boy with all his heart. But God, how he had sometimes wished that Olivia was his mother. Kathy was a great mother and Elliot was forever thankful to her for raising their children while he worked, but even Eli couldn't help bring back the feelings for her. They tried to make it work but were simply existing and co-parenting in the same house. He looked forward to going to work most of the time, because at least when he was there, he was with the woman that had always been his stability and had made him feel whole.

He even remembered the day Eli was born, and that was a day where he had fallen in love with Olivia more than already. Fin had come to him and told him that there was an accident, and on the way, his heart dropped when he found out that Olivia and Kathy were involved as Olivia had been taking Kathy to her doctor's appointment whilst he was working. When he rushed into the hospital later and finally saw that they were alright – his son, Kathy, _and_ Olivia – he felt a sense of relief wash over him. After exiting Kathy's hospital room, he smiled at Olivia and told her that the baby was 'great' before walking around her so they could head out.

But, it seemed that he had finally realized how close he was to losing her, and as soon as they stepped around the corner and she turned around, he pulled her right into his arms. They clung to each other, it seeming that eight – or nine – years of feelings were poured into this warm embrace. He muttered a _'you're okay'_ in her ear to comfort her and to convince himself, before finally letting her go and walking out with her.

His love for her grew deeper as the weeks and months went on. His concern increased for her following her undercover stint Sealview, when she became distant and cold in the weeks following her encounter with Lowell Harris. He shuddered at the name, the son of a bitch that had gotten under her skin and made her feel uncomfortable. To this day, Elliot had always wondered what truly happened, but she hadn't told him then, and now, he still didn't know.

" _What happened in the basement?"_

" _Nothing – I'm fine, El."_

'I'm fine' was Olivia's signature when she was far from fine, but Elliot didn't push it as he didn't want to upset her. He simply rubbed her shoulder and was there for her in his own way, and they continued to work together again, the dynamic duo of the NYPD.

Over the next couple years – the final years of their partnership - they continued to go to bat for each other. Olivia stopped Kathy from leaving him and taking Eli with her when he failed to contact her after going undercover, she was there for him when he got shot while being undercover. She went to bat for his family by taking time out of her day to go talk to his mother when he refused to do so, all in an effort to help Kathleen when she had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He went out of his way to prove her innocence when she had been accused of murdering a member of a bike gang and had even mortgaged the house just to get her out of jail. He comforted her when she lost the child she had been granted guardianship of, holding her late in the squad room one night as her heartbroken cries were muffled when she buried her face into his chest.

He comforted her when they lost their former ADA Sonya Paxton, when Olivia had watched the woman bleed out and die in her arms. He had been so worried about her then and was relieved when he saw her coming down the hallway of the church where the crime scene was. He wrapped her up in his arms straight away, rubbing her back whilst breathing in her scent as he realized that she wasn't the one whom had been attacked, and that she was okay.

They had gone through so much together; so many highs and so many lows. Their partnership and friendship had taken so many hits, but they still managed to stick together as there was this connection between them that could not be broken. Even though they couldn't be together, their love for each other never faded away and could be seen with every glance or every brush of the hands against each other as they handed off coffee to one another. Rumors about them had always circulated throughout the NYPD, and while none of those rumors had ever been true, there were times that both parties wished they were.

But they could never be at the time – it was too _complicated._

Though it had been seven years, he still hated that he hadn't talked to her following the shooting that killed Jenna, a young girl that had opened fire in the squad room once she saw whom it was that had killed her mother. There was so much he had to explain to Olivia, so much he had gone through over the last seven years that she needed to know, and while now was not the right now, he owed her that explanation and she was going to get it as soon as possible.

He still remembered the day he spoke with Cragen on the phone, after Cragen had called due to being informed by IAB of Elliot's decision;

" _Cap, I can't do this anymore – I just, this job, it's killing me, and I can't do it anymore."_

" _Elliot, I can respect that, and you've truly earned this retirement, I'm just sorry it's like this," a brief pause. "Son, you need to tell Olivia, call her or something."_

 _He clutched the phone to his ear as he stared at the picture in his hand through a blurry haze of tears; a picture of him and Olivia at the NYPD Picnic a couple years earlier. They were smiling and happy, his arm looped around her shoulders and her arms around his waist as they were cheek to cheek. He knew he should tell Olivia, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He already hadn't spoken to her in weeks now, and he was too much of a coward to sit down and tell her this. It was breaking his heart, and it would especially break hers._

" _I can't, Cap; I know I should but I just – I can't."_

 _A brief pause, then Cragen spoke again; "I'll talk to her son, but please, talk to her at some point. Take care of yourself."_

 _He muttered an 'Mhm' and told Cragen that he would take care of himself, before finally hanging up. He clutched the photo in his hands, his head hanging low as sobs wracked his body._

That was the day he shattered, and the day that things began going completely downhill.

The sound of children laughing and squealing in the background captured Elliot's attention, bringing him out of his memories and back to the present. A mother was walking with her children, they were all smiling and laughing and having a great time. He gave a nod and smile as he passed them, and he hadn't even realized that he had now come to the other end of the park and was now exiting. He breathed out, rubbing his hands up and down his arms as it was slightly chilly, before deciding to walk on the side walk back around to his car. His head now felt clearer, and he just hoped that he could talk to Olivia soon.

But he still wondered about this case and wondered why Harris was after her. He would find that out soon, but for now – no matter what – he would do anything to protect her. He would never let anyone hurt her; not then, and especially not now.

* * *

 _ **Hello all! I hope you enjoyed this chapter; it was nice to write from Elliot's viewpoint and to write out his thoughts regarding their partnership. Thank you all for sticking with me; Until next time...xoxo**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone!**

 **You guys are AWESOME. The feedback on this fic is remarkable. I'm glad you're all enjoying this story because truthfully, I didn't think anyone would be too interested. But here you guys are, and I'm so grateful.**

 **Part 9 is here, and within this chapter, Olivia will be forced to revisit the secret that she's kept buried for so long. I hope you all enjoy it and warning, MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. READ AT OWN RISK.**

 **Do enjoy this update xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 09**

"What the hell is wrong with you, Stone?!"

These were the first words that emerged from the lips of Olivia Benson as she stormed into the office of their Assistant District Attorney. The middle-aged man looked up from his file, his eyes going wide with a hint of fear in them as he stared at the angry, reddened face of the Special Victims Unit Lieutenant.

Olivia had just spent the last hour in her office with Chief Dodds; the two having had a full on argument as the chief tried to criticize her judgement and the way she was handling the case involving the Stabler girls. Fin had stood in the doorway of her office while the argument was going on, already prepared to step in if Dodds happened to get out of line, while Amanda and Sonny continued to work on details regarding this case whilst listening and giving each other scared glances as they saw Olivia and Dodds very obviously arguing in her office. Olivia's job was probably skating on thin ice more so than normal now as she had never really blown up at Chief Dodds, but when he once again accused her of doing this strictly because of some "romantic involvement with Elliot" – not that she was involved with him in that way – she had completely lost it and blown up at him.

"What are you talking about?" he slowly questioned, standing up to go talk to her.

"I'm talking about you running your mouth to Dodds about who this case involves," she slammed his door shut before approaching him, her face like thunder as she poked her finger in his chest, "You know, I'm so fucking sick of having to defend my relationship with Elliot to everyone around here, and it's nice to know that you've been talking about me behind my back. My job is skating on thin ice as is, but you had to open your mouth to my chief about this? Like are you serious right now?"

"I just wanted someone to make sure you were thinking clearly and not letting romantic feelings affect your judgement!" Stone retorted.

"There are no romatic feelings, Peter," Olivia fired back, running her fingers through her hair as she shook her head, "God, what the fuck don't you people understand? I'm doing this because I want to help a family whom I was a close friend of, there are no romantic feelings, there never was!"

"You expect me to believe that you never-"

"He was married!"

"And that doesn't mean a damn thing and you know it, so stop trying to convince yourself that you are only doing this because it's right, and not because you still love him!"

Olivia's nostrils flared as she her hands clenched into fists, her nails digging into palms leaving little crescent shaped indentations in her skin. It was one thing to have to constantly defend her relationship with Elliot due to the rumors that always swirled around, but the fact that Peter had just accused her of being in love with Elliot was something she hadn't expected, and something that caused her to feel a bit pissed off as she didn't need to hear that from anyone.

She wasn't in love with Elliot – at least not anymore. _Right? She wasn't? Nope, she definitely wasn't._

"Fuck you," she snarled, glaring at him. "I'm not explaining a damn thing to you or anyone else around here, but I'll say this, you're either on this case or we can get another ADA to handle it. There is nothing between me and Elliot, so you and Dodds can kiss my ass and stop questioning my judgement, and you can stop kissing Dodds's ass by telling him shit that is so totally irrelevant to why I'm working this case _._ You and him can go fuck yourselves at this point, me and my squad will do our jobs."

With that being said, she whirled around and stormed back out of his office, barely acknowledging the stares of some of the staff members as she stormed back outside. She slipped into the drivers seat of the squad car before leaning her head against the headrest, groaning as she closed her eyes.

"You are no longer in love with Elliot, Liv; you are doing this because it's the right thing to do." She muttered to herself.

' _Then why is your stomach doing flips at the mere mention of the name 'Elliot'?'_ her damn subconscious never did shut up; she rolled her eyes at the small voice in her head as she started the engine to the car.

She drove off, hardly acknowledging that the man in the car behind her had watched her with a smirk on his lips. He certainly couldn't wait for her to return to her office; there was a message left there on her answering machine and he couldn't wait for her to hear it.

* * *

"She's back and there's no blood on her shirt guys."

"That means she didn't punch Stone into next year."

"Probably scared the poor guy."

Olivia was forced to smile and roll her eyes at the playful comments that escaped the mouths of her squad as she walked into the squad room. She made her way over to them where they were hanging around Sonny's desk looking over some information, and Fin immediately looped her arm around her shoulders.

"You good?" he squeezed. She nodded, breathing out as she looked around at her team.

"I'm fine, I promise," she gave them all a reassuring smile before speaking, "Any new leads or do I still need to watch my back?"

"You need someone watching your back until we catch this jackass," Fin replied, "He's gone dark; no hits on his credit card or on his phone, and the car registered to him is parked in the yard of his mother's house in New Jersey – who's dead by the way; house doesn't look like it's been lived in for months as is."

"Okay," Olivia breathed out, "Okay, so no new leads and it's after three; is there any way to contact the old warden at Rikers and anyone connected to Harris to see how he got out?"

"Me and Carisi have been trying to track people down, it's a process but we did manage to get the name and number of the old warden, and we got some other prisoners who were recently released and made complaints against Harris, just gotta get some addresses so we can go talk to them."

"Good work guys, we're gonna catch this prick – somehow." Olivia spoke. She then squeezed Fin's shoulder before making her way into her office and closing the door behind her. As she put her bag down and went to grab the file to look over the notes of this case so far, she noticed the red light on her office phone blinking, indicating that she had a new message. She wondered who it could possibly be considering anyone who really needed to get in touch with her normally called her cell phone. It couldn't be Dodds or Stone considering she had just seen them within the last couple hours, so she was confused as to who it could possibly be.

But when she pressed the button and heard the voice, she froze as all the color drained from her face;

" _Hi Olivia, it's me,"_ the voice was so sinister and familiar, she felt like she was in that basement again as his voice made her skin crawl; _"I know you miss me; I've been thinking about you for the last ten years. Can't wait to find you and pick up where we left off, just make sure Stabler is careful; I don't want him to get caught in the crossfire. By the way, tell Noah I said hello – bye baby."_

He ended with a sinister chuckle before the call disconnected completely. Olivia felt as though she couldn't breathe. He had found the number to her office and called, he knew about Elliot, he knew about _Noah._ How did he know so much? She sat herself down in her office chair, her hands shaking as she grabbed her phone and sent a text off;

 _3':23pm – Come here asap.'_

Some moments later, the door opened and Fin wandered in. Olivia's breathing had calmed down slightly, just enough to tell him to rally the others and to call TARU to dump her phone to see if they could figure out where Harris had called from.

A couple minutes later, after Olivia's breathing had evened out, Amanda, Sonny, and Fin were new standing in her office as she stood up and leaned against the desk. She took a deep breath before pressing the button her answering machine, allowing her squad to hear the message from Harris, his voice causing her to feel sick to her stomach and dizzy as well. Amanda and Sonny gave a confused look, while Fin's jaw clenched as he made eye contact with Olivia. Ten years later, and only he knew the meaning behind that message.

' _Pick up where we left off'_ – he knew exactly what Harris meant behind that.

"What's he talking about, picking up where you left off?" Amanda asked.

They knew the question was going to come up sooner or later. Olivia sighed and exchanged a glance with Fin, who stuck his hands in his pocket and stood against the wall. Olivia came around to the front of her desk, perching herself on the edge as she found the courage to explain;

"Ten years ago, a young girl named Ashley Tyler was raped and beaten, and SVU got the case. It turned out that her rapist was Harris; he had come after her because her mother – whom was an inmate in Sealview at the time which was where Harris was a prison guard, well the Captain – anyway, she had refused to continue helping him smuggle drugs into the prison. Ashley told me about all the things her mother was subject to, how they violated her constantly and now because she refused to help him, he had gone after her daughter. I went in undercover – I was an addict named Katrina, and Fin went with me as my backup, he posed as a prison guard. While I was there, I found out Ashley's mother was murdered – though they tried to say it was suicide – and so that was another mess on our hands. I was undercover for three days, and on the third day, there was thought to be an outbreak of tuberculosis or something, and I was just saying how it wasn't fair that they weren't telling the inmates anything. Well, that didn't fly well and next thing I know, Harris is taking me and supposed to be leading me back to my cell."

She pushed herself up off her desk and went over to her window, looking out at the city for a brief second before standing against the wall as she found her voice again;

"Well, he actually led me to the basement. He told me that we were gonna have a nice time, and I knew exactly what that meant. He dragged me down there, threw me onto the bed, but I kept fighting and fighting, kicking and screaming for someone to help me."

Her voice wobbled slightly and tears began sliding down her cheeks as she stared out the window of her office and into the squad room as she spoke;

"He undid my cuffs while trying to push my pants down, and I took that as the opportunity to hit him and run. I managed to hide, but he found me and hit me again on my back and stomach, but I managed to elbow him in the groin and ran again. The door was locked, I was screaming and crying for someone to help me. He came up and hit me, and I fell onto the ground; he grabbed my wrist and cuffed it to the door."

"Liv-"

She ignored Fin as he said her name. Her body was shaking, tears were falling down her cheeks, yet she continued to tell the story that she had kept hidden for so long;

"I was crying, praying that someone would help me. I started thinking that Fin wasn't going to find me, all I could think about was never seeing the squad or seeing Elliot ever again. I just knew he was going to kill me."

Amanda was listening with tears brimming in her eyes, Sonny had sat down on the chair and was now holding his head in his hands as he listened to his boss, her vulnerability showing as she continued;

"He unzipped his pants, and said that if I bit him, I was dead. I can still hear his voice, I can feel him grabbing my head, I can smell his sweat, hear him grunting; everything. Fin got there just before he was able to rape and kill me, but to this day, it's the closest I have ever come."

She wrapped her arms around herself, her head hanging low as she began crying. Fin stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her, allowing her to cry against his shoulder whilst he soothingly rubbed her back. Amanda and Sonny stepped closer to; both of them rubbing Olivia's back whilst she continued to cry.

"Elliot never knew." She mumbled, causing Amanda and Sonny to exchange a glance before both of them then looked at Fin, who shook his head and said, "She made me swear not to tell anyone, not even Elliot."

"Damn." Sonny muttered, running his hand through his hair, his heart breaking as he watched his boss continue to crumble around them.

Some minutes later, Olivia decided she had, had enough for the day and decided that maybe she should go home, to which Fin insisted he drive her as he wanted to make sure she got home okay. Once Olivia had grabbed her bag and headed out with Fin, Amanda and Sonny made their way back to their desks, both of them sighing as they looked at each other.

"We really gotta catch this son of a bitch," Sonny perched himself on the edge of Amanda's desk, "I read the report; he wasn't charged attempted rape for Liv, he was charged with the attempted murder of a police officer but the rapes for Ashley and her mother, and the murder of Ashley's mother."

"Liv won't press the attempted rape charge against him, but dammit when we take him down, I'm giving him an extra kick in the nuts for her," Amanda looked up;

"We aren't taking him down just for the Stabler girls, this is for Liv too."

* * *

 _ **And here is another completed update. Please, leave your reviews and let me know what you think. Thank you for all your support so far. Until next time... xoxo**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello guys!**

 **Just wanted to give you all an update before I head out. Thank you for your continued support on this fic!**

 **Here's part 10, and well, it twists a little bit - Olivia is supposed to be cautious but sometimes, she needs the only person that will ever understand her.**

 **WARNING; MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. READ AT OWN RISK.**

 **Please, enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 10**

 _The metal of the cuffs was cold against her scrawny wrists. She tried to pull herself away but it was no use. The metal was digging into her skin, causing her skin to turn red and break slightly. She was trying to scream. Her breathing was uneven, she was shaking uncontrollably, and tears were falling fast down her face as it dawned on her what was about to happen._

 _She tried to scream again, but no sound could come out. He was standing over her, unzipping his trousers as he muttered;_

" _Bite me and you're dead."_

 _He grabbed hold of her hair, she kept trying to struggle against him but it was no use. He was stronger than her, faster than her. She was tired from fighting, from being in here. Her fear had consumed her. She just knew that this was it. He was going to rape her, then he was going to kill her to keep her from talking. She would never see her squad – her friends – ever again._

 _She was never going to see her best friend, her Elliot ever again._

 _She struggled as he forced her mouth open. Nobody was coming to help her, nobody was coming to save her._

 _And suddenly, she found herself in the old beach house. She was tied to a bed. She looked around, panic setting in as she remembered – this was the house where William Lewis had taken her. She blinked and there he was at the side of the bed, staring at her with a sinister smirk. She blinked again and standing at the other side of the bed was Lowell Harris, looking at her with an equally sinister smirk as he stared at her._

" _It's someone else that you'd give anything to see one last time."_

" _Bite me and you're dead, filthy whore."_

 _Both men were unzipping their pants, and she knew what was going to happen next – and nobody was coming to save her._

 _She screamed, and suddenly she was falling._

* * *

Her blood curdling scream echoed around her bedroom as she sat up right in bed. Her breathing was heavy, her body was in a full sweat and shaking with sobs as she started to cry. She hadn't had nightmares regarding William Lewis and Lowell Harris in a long time. The nightmares were bad enough when they were separate, but the fact that both men were together in the same nightmare was enough to shake her to the core.

A knock at her bedroom door startled her, causing her to jump. She heard a small voice from the other side; "Mommy, are you okay?!" The doorknob was jiggling, but she didn't want Noah to see her like this.

"Noah," she gasped before managing to speak, "Noah, Mommy's fine; go back to bed and I'll be there in a minute."

She waited a few moments, listening to the sound of his small footsteps wandering away from her door. She jumped out of bed and rushed into her en suite bathroom, an overwhelming feeling of nausea taking over straight away. She threw her head over the toilet bowl and began vomiting quite violently, though this was painful as she hadn't eaten too much today besides the pizza she had, had with Noah for dinner. Her fingers dug into the sides of the cold porcelain as she continued to empty the contents of her stomach, tears dripping down her cheeks as she did so whilst memories of the horrible nightmare continued to dance through her head.

After a few more moments of being crouched on the floor, Olivia finally felt strong enough to flush the toilet and stand up. She held onto the sink to steady herself, before wiping her mouth and brushing her teeth. Her face was slowly returning to its normal color, she managed to get her breathing under control and stop the tears for a bit. She had to sort Noah out first, then she could sort herself out.

She made her way out of her own room and into Noah's room, finding the little boy sitting up in bed against the covers whilst clutching his elephant toy. She knelt down to him, giving him a small smile whilst encouraging him to lay down.

"Mommy, are you okay? Are you hurt?" he quietly asked.

"No baby, Mommy just had a bad dream, that's all," she kissed his forehead before tucking the covers around him, "Don't worry about me, sweet boy; you go back to sleep."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Noah's little voice was filled with concern, and that alone caused tears to pool in Olivia's eyes. She shuffled onto the bed and pulled him into a tight cuddle, kissing the top of his head a couple times before simply holding him.

"I am fine, I promise," she gave him a tight squeeze before helping him to lay back down again, "Rest sweetheart; I love you and I'll see you in a few hours."

Noah nodded his head, curling up under his blankets and clutching his elephant toy again. He was sleeping again within a few minutes, leading Olivia to kiss his forehead again before retreating back to her bedroom again. She closed the door and sat down on the bed, running her fingers through her hair before switching the bedside lamp on. She caught a glimpse of the alarm clock; the illuminated red numbers read _3:36am._

Her brow furrowed as she tried to think of the last time she had a nightmare this bad. It had been quite a long time, and her skin was crawling at the pure thought of the nightmare. _'William Lewis is dead, Olivia; you saw his body in the morgue!'_ she kept telling herself, recalling the time after everything was over with Lewis that she made the unusual request to see his body. It was part of the healing process, she told herself, and though she still had nightmares of him, they were few and far between. They were nothing like what she had dreamed of tonight, and that frightened her.

Lowell Harris was a different story. He was not dead; he was out roaming the city, knowing where she worked obviously, but knowing about her son as well – something that troubled her. His vendetta against her was frightening, and the fact that he had used the Stabler girls to get to her was unnerving as well. She wondered how he knew about Noah, hell she even wondered if he knew where she lived. She was grateful there were a couple protective details on her black, but she knew she would not rest properly until he was back behind bars for what he had done. She hated the sound of his voice that was still echoing in her head, the evil in his voice being enough to make her skin crawl. She knew that his voice today and telling the others what happened to her probably triggered her nightmare, but the fact that both Harris and Lewis had been in the same dream and she was helpless; that frightened her. She really did hope she wasn't slipping back into how she was before, because it had taken her a very long time to recover from the PTSD that followed after Harris assaulted her, and especially after the severe PTSD that had followed after the whole situation with William Lewis.

She sighed to herself, glancing at the empty space in the bed beside were times like this that she wished she had someone special laying next to her, holding her and telling her that everything would be okay and that she would be fine. Instead, she was in this queen-sized bed alone, leaning back against the pillows with her knees up to her chest as she tried to steady her breathing. She vaguely remembered the times she had comfort during nightmares from past lovers. Kurt Moss didn't know how to handle her nightmares that followed her attack those years ago. She never really had nightmares with David Haden, though she wasn't with him long enough for him to see any other side of her other than the first time they met and she was still reeling from Elliot's departure. Brian Cassidy barely handled her nightmares following Lewis's attack, and though he stuck with her through thick and thin, he had never been good with handling victims. She had, had a few nightmares while dating Ed Tucker, and he had been able to handle them – but he had also tried to push her into talking about them, which was something she didn't like to do.

She groaned as she tilted her head against the headboard. She had to face facts and realize that there was only one person that would forever know how to handle her nightmares. Hell, that knew how to handle _her._

' _You're the longest relationship that I've ever had with a man - who else would put up with me?'_

She smiled softly at her words from so long ago. It was true; despite their time apart, he was still the longest steady relationship that she'd ever had with a man and truthfully, he was the only one that would put up with every single part of her.

She grabbed her phone from the nightstand, her fingers dancing across the screen;

 _'3:50am – You awake? Sorry if I woke you; if I did just go back to sleep, it can wait.'_

She sent the message, waiting for the 'Delivered' to appear under the text.

 _Ping!_

 _'Elliot: 3:51am – Nah, couldn't sleep so I'm watching a movie. You okay?'_

Her fingers danced across the screen yet again;

 _'3:52am – Not really; can I call you?'_

Within a few moments, her phone began to buzz in her hand; _Elliot calling._

She answered in a flash; "El."

" _Liv, what's wrong?"_ his voice was soft and gentle, just like the times in the past when he had become so concerned for her and would ask what was going on. Tears slipped down her cheeks and she swallowed. She couldn't deny it. Elliot was the only one who would understand. He was the only one that would _ever_ understand. He knew her too well, and as much as it frightened her, it also made her feel very safe.

"I had a nightmare, one of the worst," she sniffled slightly as she tried to control her emotions, "I'm sorry, I don't want to cry, but-"

There was a pause, then he spoke; _"Liv, I'm coming over."_

"Elliot-"

" _Not up for discussion, I'm coming over – text me your address."_

Olivia couldn't say anything else. This was always Elliot; no matter what time of night it was and no matter what he had going on, he would drop anything just to be there for her. This was what she had missed the most over the last seven years, that feeling of someone fighting in her corner and being there for her no matter what. Sometimes, there were no words to describe Elliot, and as much as she wanted to be mad and distance herself from him, she knew she needed him because he was the only one who would get it. He was the only one that would make her feel safe.

"I'll text you." She replied. The two then hung up and she quickly text him her address, before sighing as she looked at the clock again; it was now four in the morning. She wiped the tears away before making her way out to the lounge and straight to the kitchen area. She flicked on the coffee pot before sitting on one of the stools at the counter, resting her head in her hands as she took a deep breath to calm herself down.

Elliot – she just needed him right now.

* * *

Olivia had just poured two steaming mugs of coffee when there was a knock at her door. It was ten minutes past four now, and that alone made her wonder how far Elliot actually lived from her or if he had broken some speed laws to get here. Either way, she was glad he was here now and when she pulled open the door, the felt her heart leap into her throat as she looked at him.

It was four in the morning, but he still looked relaxed in a pair of blue NYPD sweatpants and a grey t-shirt, along with a grey hoodie and a pair of white and black sneakers. He stepped inside and put his keys down onto the side board whilst she closed and locked the door. The two then looked at each other again, before Elliot then pulled her into his arms, giving her a warm hug as he rested his head on top of hers.

And with those strong arms around her, with her head cushioned against his firm chest, and with that comforting scent of his cologne filling her nostrils, she finally began to cry. She buried her face into his top, gripping onto his jacket, her tears leaving a wet patch on his shirt as she held him. He soothingly rubbed her back, kissing the top of her head every now and then, like he had done in the past when she needed comforting.

This was exactly what she wanted after Lewis. Brian had done the best he could with comforting her, but this right here, this person holding her, was what she had truly wanted.

The two stood like that for a few minutes, until Olivia's quiet sobs turned to sniffles and she stopped shaking so much. Elliot kept his arm around her, leading her over to the sofa and helping her to sit down. The coffee that she had brewed was forgotten as the two sat there together like old times when Elliot would come over after a hard case, and where the two would just sit there together. Elliot would have his arm draped around her shoulders and she would rest her head on his shoulder. They wouldn't talk, they would just try to make sense of their hellish day and just be there for each other in their own way.

They were silent for a few moments, before he spoke quietly; "Do you want to talk about it?"

She sat up a bit and turned to him, curling one of her legs under him as she watched him for a second. He had a genuine look of concern on his face, his blue eyes pouring into her browns as he tried to read her like old times. She knew he wouldn't make her talk about it if she didn't want to, but maybe it was best that they did talk a little bit about it, so she could at least relax.

"How much do you know about Lewis?"

She watched as his jaw tensed and he looked down at his hands. She wondered if he had seen it all over the news and heard all the details. Or maybe he had only heard a vague bit about it. Part of her wondered if he wanted to reach out to her but couldn't. Part of her wondered if he tried but the call was intercepted. Part of her wished he had been the one to find her. Part of her wished she had called him instead of backup.

' _My old partner, he'd know what to do – he wouldn't question himself after what you've done."_

Elliot would've known what to do.

' _Maybe I should call him.'_

Maybe she should've called him.

"Maur, Lizzie, and Dickie tried to shield me from it, but Kathleen was never one to beat around the bush, so she kept me updated," he breathed out, his leg bobbing up and down though he was trying to control the anger that was beginning to course through him,

"When I heard you were missing, God…Liv, I just, I almost wanted to call somebody and jump in to try and help, but I knew I couldn't. After the first two days, I was going crazy, and I was already a mess anyway – my life was a mess. I called the precinct to speak to Cragen, but was told he was out in the field helping with a case – I knew it was to help look for you. Lizzie came to the house and stayed to make sure I didn't watch the news and torture myself, Dickie was calling everyday to talk to me about everything else to occupy my mind; hell, me and Kathy were arguing so much at the time but even she was concerned and kept trying to shield me from all the details, but Kathleen kept me updated. She actually called me crying when they found you."

He paused briefly, sitting back against the sofa to look at her;

"When I heard what that son of a bitch did to those other girls it was one thing, but when I heard what he did to you – the extent of your injuries – Liv, I swear to God I wanted to come find him and strangle him myself. Fuck, like – I already felt like a failure, but I felt like I had failed you and I tried to call you, but your phone went straight to voicemail after a couple rings. I figured you had changed numbers or something, but I did anonymously send flowers to the precinct, they were blue and-"

"Blue and purple ones, I remember getting them but not knowing who they were from, but I thought they were beautiful." She gave a soft smile. She then shuffled closer, breathing out as she took her hand lightly in his;

"Elliot, you weren't a failure to me. I wanted you there so much, I even thought about calling you, I wanted you to save me but I knew it wasn't possible," her gaze shifted for a minute, then she looked up at him again,

"Lewis kept saying that his victims usually would cry out the name of the person they would give anything to see one last time, but it's like he saw past me, and knew that it wasn't my mother or my nonexistent father or Brian, but someone else – he knew that. When I said that my old partner would know what to do and all that, he used that against me, taunting me about you. I would never say your name out loud, I wouldn't let him say your name and use that against me; I held it too close to me. God though, you have no idea how close I was to calling you and screaming for you to come save me – I just wanted you."

"I would've done anything to save you, no matter how messed up I was, I would've snapped back for you," he spoke sincerely before continuing, "Was Lewis in your nightmare tonight?"

Olivia simply nodded, before quietly adding; "And Harris."

"Harris?" Elliot questioned with a raised eyebrow. Olivia nodded her head, a couple more tears slipping down her cheeks. Elliot stared at her for a little while longer as pieces started to come together in his head. He remembered something; this same look in her eyes when she was staring at the picture of Harris that night at her desk – hours after they'd let him go.

" _What happened in the basement?"_

 _She paused for a second before glancing at him;_

" _Nothing – I'm fine, El."_

No, _something_ had happened; something she hadn't told him.

"Olivia."

She looked up from her hands, seeing his blue eyes staring into her browns yet again. His next question caused her heart to race. Her hands began to shake and her skin crawled.

"What happened in the basement?"

* * *

 _ **Dun dun! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Please, leave some reviews and all that! Until next time... xoxo**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello again friends. You have all been so unbelievably supportive and lovely towards me about this fic. You all seem to be enjoying it, and I am so grateful. So, here we are with part 11.**

 **And Elliot finally finds out what happened in the basement.**

 **WARNING: MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. PLEASE READ AT OWN RISK.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 11**

Olivia froze, Elliot's voice swirling through her head once the dreaded question fell from his lips.

' _What happened in the basement?'_

Elliot had never truly known what happened to her, because she never told him. It had probably been a decade now and though they had grown considerably closer in those last few years where he was her partner, she still had not confided in him about what happened to her. Sure, she attended the therapy sessions – off the record of course as she did not want anyone within her unit or the whole of NYPD to know – but as far as confiding in anyone else, that did not happen. She knew then that Elliot deserved to know the truth but fearing that he would be disappointed in her or begin to look at her as if she could not do her job, she chose not to disclose to him.

It seemed that, that option was now no longer on the table. Now that she had revealed that Harris had inhabited her nightmare as well, she knew that she could no longer keep this dark secret from her former partner. She just hoped that he would not be angry with her for keeping this away from him.

"Liv-"

"El, are you…are you sure you want to know?" her voice was thick, full of emotion and nerves. Her browns poured into his blues, and he gave a simple nod of the head in response to her question.

"I know something happened, it was obvious, you just never told me."

"I know, and I'm sorry," she flicked her gaze from his eyes to her hands in her lap, "I just…I was ashamed." She drew her bottom lip in between her teeth, her teeth sinking into the pouty pink flesh.

She felt his large hand close around one of her tiny ones, his thumb stroking against her soft skin.

"Tell me." His voice was full of concern, and that alone caused tears to pool into her sparkling eyes.

"The prison went into lockdown because of that tuberculosis outbreak, remember hearing about that?"

Elliot nodded, so she continued;

"I just thought the prisoners should know about these things because no one was saying anything, and so as I always do, I opened my big mouth. Either way, I was accused of starting what they called a riot, and Harris came and grabbed me. I thought he was leading me to the hole or to my cell or something, but when I realized we were going in the wrong direction, I knew there was no turning back. He led me into the basement – I can still smell it Elliot; it smelled like death and ammonia, it was dark, and it was cold, and there was an echoing sound of water dripping from somewhere; I can almost hear it."

She swallowed the nerves that threated to consume her, keeping her gaze fixated on their joined hands as she continued to speak;

"I tried to apologize, and I asked him what he wanted. He told he wanted what every guy wanted, and I was going to give it to him, said we were gonna have a good time. When I saw the bed, I panicked; my heart was beating like crazy; I knew what could happen, but I knew I had to fight. I promise you Elliot, I tried so hard to fight him. He threw me onto the bed, had me up against the wall; I tried to fight him but that only excited him. I was screaming for help, and no one could hear me, and I was so scared, but once he took the cuffs off, I punched him and ran. I didn't know where I was going; I just ran somewhere and hid behind some boxes. I just thought maybe I could buy time until he had his back to me, then maybe I could blitz him and run or something – I was trying so hard."

Her vision became clouded with tears; a couple of them spilled down her cheeks and dripped onto their hands. Elliot squeezed her hand before rubbing her skin once more with his thumb, trying his hardest to keep his rage at bay as it was starting to rise within him. He almost wanted to tell her to stop as he could see that it was difficult to be discussing this again, but he wanted to know what happened, and he knew that having this information would be crucial to understanding her nightmare when she wanted to talk about it.

"He kept looking and he finally found me, and he hit me with his baton – on my stomach and my back. I managed to hit him in the groin before running again. I can still feel the pain of that iron door as I banged my hand against it, I can almost hear my screams echoing as I tried to scream for help. Harris got me, and he slapped me and made me fall. I was running out of fight then, but I kept trying. He cuffed my hand to the bar on the door, then unzipped his pants."

"Olivia-" he began. However, he paused when she held up her hand.

"He told me that if I bit him, I was dead. I just kept thinking that this was it, that I was as good as dead and that I would never see any of you all again. You were especially my last thought, I just wanted to see you, I wanted you to save me."

She let out a sob, her body shaking slightly as she let the tears flow freely down her face;

"He grabbed my face, tried to force himself into my mouth. Fin got there just before he could do it and got him away from me. That's why I started seeing a shrink outside the NYPD, why I was so distant, and why I was a mess that night when you asked me what happened. I was still trying to recover from what happened to me, telling myself that it was my fault for even going undercover in that shithole. I'm sorry I didn't tell you; I thought you'd be disappointed in me or think I couldn't do my job. It's haunted me every day since then, Elliot; I've never really gotten over it, being honest, and the fact that he's out roaming this city and the fact that he called my office, the fact that he knows things about me like that I have a son, it's bothering me. And that dream, with him and Lewis there, it just felt so real and I just – I can't do this."

And with that, Olivia finally collapsed into a heap of sobs. Elliot pulled her against him quickly, the sounds of her sobs being muffled as she buried her face into his chest once again. He ran his fingers through her soft, wavy locks, his strong arms locked around her in a comforting embrace as he held her tight against his body. The vein in his neck was pulsating and there was rage coursing through him like a raging wild fire, but he had to put that aside for a minute. His main focus right now was getting Olivia to calm down and to get her breathing steady. He rubbed her back, peppering light kisses to the top of her head, whispering that she was safe now and that he was here, whilst also telling her that it was okay when she kept murmuring some apologizes for not telling him so long ago.

After about ten minutes, she finally lifted her head a bit though she remained close to him. He kept his arms around her, soothingly stroking her back. She rested her head on his shoulder, breathing in the scent of his aftershave which gave her that feeling of safety. As much as she tried to tell herself to be cautious around him, especially given how he only just got back into her life, she couldn't help this right now. She needed him, as much as it killed her to admit – she _needed_ him so much, especially in this moment. The way his arms locked around her, the way his lips brushed against her forehead every now and then, the way he kept whispering that he was there, and she was safe now; it caused her heart to beat faster and gave her a feeling of warmth.

Elliot was always what she needed. It scared her, but it was true.

They sat in silence for a further half hour, the time slowly creeping closer to five in the morning as they relaxed on the sofa together. Olivia had no idea how she was going to make it with going to work in a couple hours; part of her actually wondered if she could get away with taking the day off as there was no way she was going to survive with only having about four hours sleep or however much she managed to get before that nightmare woke up. However, another part of her knew that she had to go to work and work with her team to catch Harris. He couldn't go down for assaulting her because truthfully, she wasn't pressing charges; she wanted to forget it ever happened. However, she was going to get justice for Maureen and Kathleen, even if it killed her.

"Liv."

Elliot's voice brought her from her thoughts; she tilted her head on his shoulder, so she could look at him. He was looking down at her with a look in his eyes that she couldn't quite read. He was still stroking her back in a soothing fashion, but she could see the fire in his eyes. He was angry – maybe not with her or anyone – but at the situation as a whole. She just hoped he could control himself, because she knew how Elliot was when he was angry, and it wasn't a pretty sight.

"I would've never thought any less of you, you know that," his voice was gentle, the Brooklyn accent filling her with such a warmth that she simply snuggled into him further, "I'm just sorry that I wasn't there to protect you; you're my partner and I was supposed to protect you, and I'm sorry. But Olivia, what I do know is that you're one of the strongest women I know – believe me, you're stronger than me, but don't tell anyone I said that," that statement caused a chuckle to escape her lips; "I know you're more than capable of doing your job, and none of this is your fault. You went undercover for justice for a young girl, and that was one of the bravest things you could have ever done. Liv, there was nothing you could've done to prevent this other than to fight, so this isn't your fault. You're strong, you're a survivor; you got this, and you'll get the bastard again this time."

He squeezed her tighter, breathing out as he spoke the next words;

"And if he so much as comes near you or calls you ever again, I will rip him apart with my bare hands."

Olivia could say no more. Words failed her, a ball of emotion formed in her throat. She simply hugged him tightly, gripping onto him as he held her. He used the pad of his thumb to wipe the tears off her cheeks before kissing the top of her head again. He figured that they had talked about enough heavy stuff tonight, and he also figured that he was remaining with her for a short while longer. He relaxed against the corner, holding her tightly as he decided to focus on happier things.

"Liv."

"Hmm?"

He glanced down at her, she was looking up at him. He gave her a smile, to which she returned a small one as he spoke;

"Talk happy things, tell me about your son."

* * *

It was nearly seven when Elliot finally was standing up to leave. For the last couple hours, the conversation had switched to something more lighthearted – like Olivia's son that Elliot hadn't even known until she mentioned that Harris knew about the little boy. As she was talking about Noah, he looked around the room, noticing the kid drawings and pictures dotted around in various places. He should've known really judging by those items, but in his defense, he hadn't even noticed them when he first came in. His focus had been on Olivia.

Olivia chatted happily about Noah as she and Elliot remained cuddled up on the sofa. She explained to him about how he came into her life at the most random time, when she found him whilst working a case and how, since nobody claimed him after his mother's death and his father was nowhere to be found, that the judge had granted her the role of being his foster mother since she had shown an interest in him by constantly visiting him in hospital and making sure he was okay. Elliot listened with a soft smile on his face, and she had one that matched as she told him about how she adopted him a year later just before his second birthday, and how – for the last three years, it had just been the two of them for the most part. Elliot praised her for balancing the job and being a mother and even asked if he could meet Noah one day, to which Olivia suggested he come over the following day and bring Eli so they could hang out around the apartment and he could meet Noah then. Elliot agreed, thinking that it was a great idea – and plus, despite everything going on, it was great to have some normality.

As Elliot stood at the door after getting his shoes back on and grabbing his keys, Olivia could see the apprehension on his face. After hearing what Harris had done and with knowledge that he was out and about in the city, he was worried about leaving Olivia alone. However, Olivia assured him that she was safe – that there was a detail on her block and at Noah's school, so that everything would be fine. Elliot still felt apprehensive, but let it go and simply hugged her again, resting his chin on top of her head.

"Text me when you get to work, so I know you're there safe," he held her arms as he pulled back, "Watch your back okay? Someone's looking out for you at work, right?"

"I'm the Lieutenant, El; I'm barely out in the field, but when I do go out, one of my detectives is watching my back." She explained.

"I only know Fin, so I only trust him to watch your back," he stroked his thumb along her arms before letting go, "I'll talk to you later okay, be safe."

"Hey, you watch your back too." She grabbed hold of his arm, staring into his blue eyes as he looked down at her. He gave a curt nod of the head, before stroking his thumb down her cheek. The two stared at each other for a further couple minutes, before Elliot pulled himself away and headed out of the door. Olivia leaned against the doorway and watched him as he stepped into the elevator, giving a small smile as he waved. She waved back, before finally shutting and locking the door back.

It was going to be a long day, but as long as she had Elliot on the other line, she was going to be okay.

* * *

 **Anddd chapter 11 has come to a close. I hope you all have enjoyed this update guys! Until next time... xoxo**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello hello everyone! I'm here again, and it's time for a new update! Are y'all ready? Here we go.**

 **This chapter might be kinda long, but I hope you all enjoy it. I don't want to give too much away, but just read it okay? Okay.**

 **WARNING: MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. READ AT OWN RISK.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 12**

The morning ran as smoothly as possible following Elliot's departure from Olivia's apartment. She got ready for the day – and tried to make herself look a little more alive and not like she had been through hell – as well as helped Noah to get ready for school, though really, he had managed just fine on his own. Noah didn't ask any more questions other than if she was feeling better now, to which Olivia replied with a yes – not that it was really a lie, she was alright, but her son was too little to understand that sometimes she had things on her mind that couldn't go away. The two had their breakfast together – Olivia had a bowl of Cheerios while Noah stuck to his Coco Pops, and by seven forty-five, they were out the door. They took the short walk to Noah's school; Olivia kept hold of his hand and looked around to make sure there was nothing out of the ordinary. She was pleased to see the squad car already on his school and gave a wave to the officer on duty, before making her way in to drop Noah off. After giving him a warm hug and reminding him that Lucy was picking him up, she kissed his cheek then bid him farewell.

She caught a cab to the block where the precinct was, and after grabbing a cup of coffee from the cart that was a few feet away from the entrance, she made her way into the building. As she stepped off the elevator some minutes later, she was met with the sight of her detectives, all huddled over at Fin's computer.

"Um, good morning." She greeted slowly, capturing their attention.

"Whoa, you look like hell." Fin remarked.

"Enough of the sweet talk," Olivia took a swig of her coffee as she stepped closer to them, "We got something?"

"We might do," Sonny replied as he looked up from the file he had in his hands, "Talked to the old warden for Rikers yesterday after you left; apparently the prison was becoming overcrowded and Harris – within the last two years – started showing increasingly good behavior and became the model prisoner, so they agreed to release him on parole, which I don't understood why he had a chance of."

"Okay," Olivia breathed out, "And anything from the former inmates who had complaints against Harris?"

"All similar stories to yours, Liv," Amanda replied; "Led them to the basement, did a job on them, but you were saved, and they weren't."

"Mm," Olivia nodded her head, "Okay, and is there any possible lead to tell us where Harris is now?"

"One of the former inmates said she saw him last night in a bar in Chelsea; I asked her if she was sure it was him and she was positive, said she would never forget his face. Me and Sonny are gonna go talk to her." Amanda explained. Olivia nodded, giving them all a smile.

"Good work." She replied. She then slipped into her office and closed the door halfway, before sitting down at her desk. She was about to start her work for the day, when she remembered that Elliot was probably waiting for her text. With a soft smile on her lips, she whipped her phone from her bag and quickly began typing a message for her old friend;

 _'8:10am – Hi El; I'm at work – all safe and sound. Hope you're okay and hope you have a good day.'_

She put the phone aside and began working on some paperwork regarding the case, sighing slightly to herself as she did so. With the word now being out that the victims were the daughters of a 'former brother in blue', the police commissioner had been on Olivia's back, pushing her to find their perp and make an arrest. She just hoped they could hurry up and wrap this case, because she was emotionally exhausted and didn't know how much more she could take of it.

 _Ping!_

She grabbed her phone, a smile forming on her lips as she opened Elliot's message;

 _'Elliot: 8:11am – Hey Liv; glad you made it. You feeling okay?'_

 _'8:12am – Yeah I'm alright; thank you for everything. I'm gonna organize a detail for Kathy and Eli as well so give her a heads up for me; everyone needs protection until we catch this bastard.'_

 _'Elliot: 8:13pm – I'll let her know. Be safe; on my way to Queens for father-son breakfast with Eli lol see you later!'_

 _'8:14pm – See you later, El; you be safe too.'_

Olivia then put her phone aside, just as her door pushed open yet again. Fin made his way into the office, a file in his hand as he approached her.

"Did some digging, found out Harris brought another car when he got out – got it from one of those side deals," he slipped the file into her hand; there was a picture of Harris and a security footage picture of a black jeep vehicle with a person holding the door handle, "Also called the bar and got the security footage from outside sent over, and Harris is getting into that exact jeep."

"Able to enhance the image and get his license plate?" Olivia wondered.

"Working on it," Fin studied her for a moment before speaking up, "We'll get him, Liv; I can promise you that."

"We will, we definitely will," she looked up as Fin turned to leave the office; "Fin – wait; I wanna talk to you about something."

"What's up baby girl?" Fin wondered, closing the door. He sat down on one of the chairs and leaned his elbow on Olivia's desk, urging her to continue whilst she drew her bottom lip in between her teeth for a second.

"I…Elliot…he came over to mine around four this morning; I had a nightmare and I text him, and he came over," she shrugged, leaning back in her chair, "We talked, and I told him about Harris finally. Fin, when I hugged him, when he held me while I cried, I don't know, I just felt so safe again, like nothing could touch me as long as he's around. I hate that he's the only one that can comfort me, but it makes me feel so safe all over again – even after all these years. I was trying to be cautious around him, to just feel him out because I didn't want to get too close and have him leave all over again, but-"

"But you couldn't help it because no matter what, no matter how long it's been, you and Stabler will always have that connection," Fin seemed to know exactly what she was thinking, and in turn gave her a soft yet supportive smile, "Baby girl, you and Stabler were partners for almost thirteen years, you couldn't just let that go, especially not the way you two are connected. I know you wanted to be mad, I know you wanted to be cautious, but you knew that would never happen because you and Elliot have so much history."

"He didn't forget about me like I thought he did," she sighed slightly, "Fin, me and him haven't talked about it yet, but do you know what he went through over these last seven years?"

"I only know what I've heard throughout the NYPD, but I haven't talked to him directly to find out," Fin replied as he ran his hand over his shaven chin, "You need to talk to him about it, but don't let anything hold you back. Follow your heart, baby girl."

Olivia gave him a confused look as he stood up, to which he responded with a smirk, "I know you still feel something for Stabler." He held his hand up as she opened her mouth to protest, "You don't have to tell me, but I can see it in your eyes, Liv."

"You know that's not why I'm working this case."

"I know, you aren't gonna let your personal feelings get involved," Fin walked backwards towards her office door, "Now, we've got a bastard to catch; I'm calling TARU to see if they dumped your phone and figured out where he called from."

With no more words to be said – and before Olivia could even get another word in really – Fin had disappeared out of her office to get back to the tasks at hand. Olivia smirked to herself, shaking her head in despair as she let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. She should've known that she couldn't keep anything from Fin. He had worked with her for too long now and knew her too well.

And once this case was closed and she could breathe again, Elliot was going to know the truth as well.

* * *

"Can I get y'all anything to drink?"

Amanda and Sonny sat themselves down on the sofa of the small apartment belonging to former Sealview inmate, Shawna Reeves. Shawna had been an inmate in the prison during the time that Harris was there – and had met Olivia whilst she was undercover as Katrina Ray Lewis. She had been out for a couple years now and had completely turned her life around, and upon receiving the phone call from the detectives earlier in the morning, she was more than willing to help if it meant putting Harris back behind bars where he belonged.

"No thanks, we're good." Sonny replied, watching as the young woman sat down.

"I just can't believe that bastard Harris is out of prison," Shawna rolled her eyes, "What do you guys need from me? I just wanna make sure the bastard ends back up behind bars."

"Well, we know he's responsible for two rapes recently, we're just confused as to why he's even out of jail," Amanda explained, "You said you saw him last night at a bar in Chelsea?"

"Yeah, the place where I work as a bartender; the _Blue River Pub,_ " Shawna replied, grabbing a cigarette from the packet on the table, "He was further down the bar being tended to by the other guy so I don't think he saw me, but I sure as hell saw him. I'll never forget the bastard's face." She shuddered slightly before lighting the cigarette; "You guys mind or should we move this outside?"

"No we don't mind, it's cool," Sonny spoke; "What did he look like? Anything that made him stick out?"

"He still looked like the same sorry son of a bitch, but he does have a scar under his left eye, I assume from the fight that Kat – I mean _Olivia_ – put up all them years ago when he took her to the basement," Shawna took a drag from the cigarette before blowing smoke into the air; "He's cut his hair off a little bit but it's still short and dark with a little gray mixed in, green eyes that are so full of evil, a dark mustache. His voice – God – it still sounds the same; gruff, evil, and cold."

"What did he do to you?" Amanda asked.

"What didn't the bastard do," Shawna flicked the ashes of the cigarette into the ash tray on the glass table; "For the year I was there before he got arrested, I couldn't tell you how many times he dragged me to the basement and just – did stuff to me – over and over."

"Did you tell anyone?" Sonny asked. Shawna scoffed, shaking her head.

"For what? For them to do nothing about it?" she rolled her eyes, "After a while, you just pretend you aren't there and let it happen, especially if it means you'll get your fix out of it. You can complain to the warden all you want, but inmates always have a reason to make complaints, so it was no point in doing so when they weren't gonna do shit about it."

She took another drag from the cigarette and blew smoke into the air; "Harris was a captain anyway, so it was obvious that no one was gonna do shit. Olivia had balls to come in there undercover the way she did, chick even had me fooled thinking she was a junkie. She really helped us though; Sealview got better once Harris was gone. Harris was gone, the other CO's were investigated, we got a new warden and new CO's, it was all good. Still sucked ass, but we weren't getting raped everyday."

"How do you know about Olivia? Like I mean, how do you know her real name? Just curious." Amanda asked.

"We were in the cell block when she came in and arrested Harris," Shawna explained, "Honestly when girlie just disappeared, we thought he had killed her like he did Risa Tyler, but when we saw her again when she came in with the warden and we heard her voice, we was like _'Shit man Kat survived and she's a cop'_ but somebody found out that her real name was Olivia and we started writing letters to her to say thank you for fighting for us, but whether she got them is beyond me."

"You said he killed Risa Tyler? That was Ashley's mother right?" Amanda asked. Shawna nodded so Amanda continued, "How do you know?"

"Listen, I know this much; her brother was helping to supply Harris which supplied the prison, and when she refused to help him, he went after her kid. She was telling everyone that it was him that went after her kid, and then something happened – a detective or something posed as a lawyer to talk to her, and he talked to the warden as well and outed himself as a detective," Shawna paused to take another drag off her cigarette, "Don't know exactly what happened, but all we know is that word got back to Harris; I guess they questioned him. Couple days later, Risa was dead, though they said it was a suicide, but I never believed it."

"It was ruled a homicide by the ME, I read the report," Sonny glanced at Amanda before looking back at Shawna; "So Harris is capable of murder?"

"He is, especially when he feels like he's losing control or to keep someone quiet. If y'all are looking for him, be careful man; that bastard is dangerous." Shawna nodded her head. Amanda and Sonny exchanged a glance, sighing together as it dawned on them how dangerous Harris could possibly be.

"You've been really helpful, thank you, Shawna," Sonny gave her a smile, "One more thing; the lady that was Liv's cell mate when she was under – Amber Holland – do you know where she is now?"

"Yeah, she's been out about four years now, lives in Brooklyn with her moms; she's doing well for herself," Shawna mashed the cigarette out in the ash tray before standing up, "I have her address here, if y'all wanna talk to her. She was in for two years by the time I got there, and she could probably give you more info about Harris."

"That would be super helpful too, thanks." Amanda replied as she and Sonny stood up. They watched as Shawna flicked through some papers and scribbled something down on a small slip, before handing it over to them.

"There y'all go, Amber's address." She spoke.

"Thanks a lot, Shawna; and if you remember anything else, call us." Sonny thanked her again and slid his business card into her hand. Shawna nodded her head, walking them to the door of her apartment. The two had just stepped into the hallway, when Shawna's voice caught their attention yet again;

"Yo detectives?"

Amanda and Sonny looked up as Shawna stood against the doorway of her apartment, "Like I said, I don't know if Olivia ever got our letters or anything, but tell her we said thank you fighting for us and getting that asshole out of the prison."

Amanda and Sonny gave her a smile and assured they would do so before heading off. They both breathed out as they took the stairs back down to the first floor and headed outside to the squad car.

"I'm thinking we take a trip to Brooklyn to talk to Amber." Amanda slipped into the passenger seat while Sonny slipped into the driver's seat.

"I'm thinking I agree," he started the engine, "Call Liv; tell her we're going to interview another victim."

* * *

He was parked across the street from the large, two story home in Queens, a sinister smirk on his lips. He had been parked here for the last forty-five minutes, and he wondered where the owner of the home was as he was determined to make his visit to her memorable, as memorable as possible.

Another way to get Lieutenant Benson's attention.

He watched as the dark colored car parked in the driveway, and the blonde haired woman stepped out with a large bag of groceries in her arms. He licked his lips, watching as she made her way up the steps and into the home. He waited a few moments, watching to see if she was going to come back out, before stepping out of his jeep and making his way across the street. He looked around, before hurrying up the steps and ringing the doorbell.

He smirked to himself, listening as she shuffled around inside. He heard the locks click, then watched as the door opened.

Kathy Stabler was much prettier in person.

"Hi, can I help you?" she spoke through the screen door, looking up at him with a concerned look on her face.

"Hi, I was wondering if I could use your phone," he kept his voice tranquil and sincere, "Car troubles, and my cell phone is busted." He gestured across the street to the jeep, before giving her a smile. She studied him for a second, before nodding her head.

"Yeah, wait right here." Kathy closed the front door back and turned the smaller lock, her gut instinct telling her right away that something wasn't right. It seemed that all those years as the wife of a cop paid off, because she was certainly feeling on edge about this. She whipped her cell phone from her pocket, quickly sending a text message;

 _'9:12am – Call the cops and send them to the house asap.'_

She then put her phone back into her pocket and grabbed the house phone before heading back to the front door. She took a deep breath, before undoing the locks and pulling it open.

However, a perplexed expression grew on her face when she saw no one there.

A hand suddenly covered her mouth, and her eyes widened in fear as the house phone slipped from her hands. A dark, gruff voice spoke into her ear, "You should really lock your patio door, Kathy."

Kathy began to struggle against the strong man, only to have the wind knocked out of her when he threw her to the floor. She groaned in pain, her movements being slowed slightly due to the pain coursing through ribs as she had landed runny on the hard wood floor. She tried to turn over but was suddenly forced onto her front as a hand covered her mouth.

"Bite me and you're dead, bitch."

Kathy was scared out of her mind, but she refused to give up on fighting despite the fact she was running out of energy. She suddenly bit down hard on his hand, to the point where she actually drew blood as she struggled. He groaned in pain and quickly flipped her over, punching her hard in the face to the point where she could hear the bones in her nose cracking.

And that was his mistake, flipping her over so that she would see his face.

She continued to struggle against him, only to start gasping when he wrapped his hands around her neck. She gasped for breath, her nails digging into him as she tried to get her knee up enough to hit him in the groin. She could feel her head growing foggy and felt as though she was running out of air, and the last thing she could think of was never seeing her kids again and that terrified her.

His hands suddenly left her throat and she felt the weight of him lift off her. Not really understanding what was happening, she simply held her breath and laid there with her eyes closed, listening for any indication as to what was going on, embracing herself for the worst. She heard the sound of footsteps rushing away, the sound of the front door opening and closing, and the sound of footsteps rushing down the steps. Her head was foggy, her arm was in pain, and she felt like she couldn't breathe properly.

She heard the sound of sirens, giving her the indication that Elliot - whom had thankfully been in Queens for a father-son breakfast at Eli's school - had gotten her text and had called the police. She let out some breaths and opened her eyes, though her vision was blurred and her breathing was shallow as she coughed and tried to get herself together again. She heard the sound of the door being kicked in, and heard a slew of footsteps running towards her.

"Kathy, you alright? Who did this?"

Elliot had arrived, with a bunch of cops and paramedic.

"I don't know him," she winced as the paramedic helped her sit up slightly, "I just know he said if I bit him, I was dead; he had green eyes, dark hair mixed with grey. He tried to rape me, Elliot, but I fought him and let him think I was dead so he would run off." She was breathing heavy and holding her side, there was still blood pouring from her nose and lip as well.

She could see on Elliot's face that he knew who did this.

"I'll call the girls to meet you at the hospital." Elliot told her as she watched them put her on the stretcher.

"Elliot, do you know who did this?" she asked. They were rushing her outside to the ambulance, yet she was still looking at Elliot with a concerned look on her face.

"I'm going to talk to Olivia." He explained quickly. Kathy watched as he rushed off to his car, before exhaustion consumed her, causing her to close her eyes whilst the ambulance began speeding towards the hospital.

* * *

 _ **Dun dun dun! Let me know what you guys thought about this update. Thank you for sticking with me. Until next time... xoxo**_


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys!**

 **Finally, here I am with part 13. I think this is a kinda long update but it was a lot of information to cover. I hope you all enjoy it!**

 **WARNING: MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. PLEASE READ AT OWN RISK.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 13**

Meanwhile back at the Special Victims Unit squad room, Fin and Olivia were reviewing some recent leads that could possibly tell them as to where Harris was so they could take him down. The morning had provided some good news thus far, as the techs from TARU had been able to see where Harris had called Olivia's office from. Harris luckily hadn't called from anywhere near Noah's school or the precinct, or even on the block of Olivia's apartment, but they were able to determine that the call had come from near an apartment complex about four blocks from where Olivia lived. Olivia had been wondering whether or not that block was where Elliot lived, leading her to text him again to say be careful whenever he returned to the city.

 _Ping!_

The elevator doors could be heard opening a few steps away from the squad room doors, capturing the attention of Fin and Olivia. They looked towards the doorway to see who was coming in, only to freeze in shock as they couldn't believe the figure that had just stepped foot in the room.

Elliot.

"Stabler, you good man?" Fin questioned as he stood up. Elliot stood frozen for a second, looking around the squad room as he took a deep breath. Olivia stepped closer to him, putting her hands on his arms and stroking softly with her thumbs. She knew that a few people – a few of those whom had been around during the time that Elliot was here and had seen them together – were watching and wondering what was going on, but she didn't care at the moment. Her focus was to see if he was okay.

"Elliot, what's wrong?"

His gaze flicked to hers; his blues poured into her browns. She gave him a comforting smile before grabbing hold of his wrist, tugging him along with her into her office. She signaled for Fin to follow, and once they were all into the small room, she closed the door.

"You're okay, El." She stroked his shoulder. He let out a breath, nodding his head as he sat down in the chair.

"What's going on, man?" Fin wondered, eyeing his former co-worker with a curious look on his face. Elliot looked between the two, taking a deep breath before replying;

"Kathy was attacked this morning – and I think it was by Harris."

Both Fin and Olivia's eyes went wide in shock; this hadn't at all been the information they expected to hear. For Olivia, she felt like she was going to throw up. While her and Kathy had never been the best of friends, Kathy was still connected to her in a way and if Harris was doing this, then it was just yet another ploy to get her attention.

Well, he was certainly doing a great job of getting her attention.

"Half an hour ago, I just got it straight to get details sent to Kathy's house and to Eli's school," Olivia ran her hand over her face before looking at him, "Are you sure it was him? Tell us what happened, from the beginning."

"I went out to Queens this morning and picked Eli up to take him to school, because I promised I wouldn't miss the father-son breakfast at his school, so I went there," Elliot looked up as he spoke;

"I stayed for a bit after the breakfast because Eli wanted me to talk to his class about being a cop, so I did that and just as I got outside, this text pops up from Kathy – she had sent it probably two minutes earlier, saying to call the police to send to the house. I had a bad feeling right there, so I called the cops and sent them to the house. I was about to come back to the city but then something said to go to the house, so I went there, and they pulled up just as I did. We went inside, and Kathy was laying on the floor – bloody nose and lip, handprints around her neck. She was in bad shape, but she managed to tell me that the guy tried to rape her, but she fought him and played dead, so he ran off. He told her that that if she bit him, she was dead, and she also said he had green eyes, and dark hair mixed with some grey."

Fin and Olivia exchanged a glance, both of them sighing and saying in unison, "Harris."

"Elliot, go to Kathy and stay with her – she needs protection." Olivia told him.

"And who's gonna protect you, Liv? This son of a bitch is capable of anything." Elliot immediately retorted, his eyes going wide as he looked up at her.

"Elliot, I'm fine; I'm covered," she put her hand on his shoulder, "Go to Kathy."

"The girls are with her, and I've been told that her boyfriend is on the way too, so she's protected," he stood up, putting his hands on her arms, "Liv, you need protection."

"I have a detail, Elliot."

"And what happened the last few times you've had details, Liv?"

"Don't do that, you don't get to come back here and suddenly try to save me when you-" she stopped herself and took a deep breath, looking back up at him, "I'm fine Elliot, I can protect myself."

"Liv, let him help you," Fin chimed in, pushing himself off the wall, "Listen, we don't know what this bastard is capable of, so you need someone around to protect you and Noah other than a damn detail."

"Fin-"

"Liv, either Elliot stays with you or I do."

Olivia rolled her eyes, sighing at the two men whom were looking at her. They had always been so ridiculously protective over her – Elliot more so than Fin – and she knew that with a psycho like Harris roaming around, there was no way they would leave her alone. She knew it was essential that she have extra protection due to Noah being around, and while she didn't want to show how scared she was, she couldn't shake the feeling of dread that was consuming her the more she thought about Harris.

"Okay." She finally muttered. Fin and Elliot raised an eyebrow, leading her to clarify her statement with a sigh, "Okay; El, you can stay with me – but be careful; and either bring Eli with you to mine or make sure he is protected please."

"I'll have him sent up to Kathy's parents for the weekend." Elliot replied. Olivia nodded, before jumping slightly when her office phone began ringing. She exchanged a glance with Fin, before pressing the button for the speaker and answering;

"Lieutenant Benson."

" _Olivia, h-hi, it's Maureen,"_ Olivia glanced up at Elliot as they heard his daughter speaking on the phone, _"I didn't know who else to call, and I don't know if you can help us, but Mom was talking about her attack and what the guy said, I think it's the same guy who attacked us."_

"Maur, honey, your mother saw the man's face and described him to your dad, and your dad came and told me. I promise you Maur, we will get him – I promise you," Olivia gathered up her bag as she talked, "Listen to me honey, stay with your Mom, I'm on my way."

She then disconnected the call before grabbing her phone and the keys to the squad car.

"You know we can't handle this Liv, it happened out of our jurisdiction." Fin reminded her.

"But it was our perp that we've been struggling to find," Olivia retorted as she tossed him the keys, "I'm telling the uni at the front desk to do a mailing to all precincts; we have got to get ahead of Harris and fast."

"Liv!"

She turned around, seeing Elliot standing in the doorway of her office now. She told Fin to go ahead, before walking back up to Elliot. She slid her arms around his waist and hugged him, breathing out as she felt his strong arms lock around her frame in a warm embrace. His lips brushed against the top of her forehead as they had done the night before, his voice being quiet and gentle as he murmured; "Be careful."

"I will." She promised him with a look in his eyes. She squeezed him again before letting go, waving as she rushed out of the squad room to catch up to Fin…

* * *

It was about half an hour later when Fin and Olivia were rushing into the Flushing Hospital Medical Center, flashing their badges as soon as they approached the receptionist desk.

"We need to see Kathy Stabler…well, Kathy Malone." Olivia explained.

"Are you family?" the woman asked.

"Close family friends," Fin held up his badge again, "I'm Detective Tutuola, and this is Lieutenant Benson; we need to speak with her, it's important."

The receptionist stared at them for a second, before sighing and typing some information into the computer. After a few moments, the computer made a ping sound and she looked up again;

"Room forty-seven, just down the hall there." She pointed down a long hallway. Fin and Olivia thanked her before rushing down the hall, Olivia's heels echoing against the tile floors of the vast hospital. Once they reached the room, the two went inside, seeing Kathy laying in the hospital bed in the hospital gown with a bandage over her nose. She had a small cut under her eye and bruises around her neck. Maureen and Kathleen were squeezed together on a chair beside her bed, and on the other side sat a dark-haired man with grey eyes and a muscular build, dressed in a dress shirt and pants with black shoes.

"Olivia, Fin; thank God you're both here." Kathleen burst out, rushing up to engulf them both in a hug. Olivia and Fin returned her hug, before stepping closer.

"Kathy, hey." She whispered. Kathy gave a small smile.

"Hey Liv," she gestured for the man beside her, "This is my boyfriend, Mark; Mark, this is Olivia Benson and Fin Tutuola – they're family friends, and cops."

"Nice to meet you both; thank you for coming to help." Mark smiled at them both, giving their hands a firm shake.

"We're just doing our jobs," Olivia smiled before sitting down at the foot of Kathy's bed, turning slightly to face her, "Kathy, I need you to tell me about your attack, and we need any detail you can remember."

"Liv, please don't make me talk about it." Kathy sighed, her blue eyes filling with tears as she looked at the lieutenant.

"It'll help a lot if you do, Kathy; we think we're looking at the same guy who went after Maureen and Kathleen." Fin chimed in. Kathy looked between the two law enforcement officers, before letting out a sigh as she ran her hand over her swollen face.

"Elliot had this look on his face, like he knew who it was when I described the guy," her gaze flicked to Olivia, "Is this someone you two have pissed off in the past?"

Olivia swallowed, biting her lip before replying, "Sort of. We just…we need you to tell us what happened and describe him to us."

Kathy stared at Olivia for a second, before nodding her head and replying with a quiet voice; "Okay."

Olivia gave her a smile, before taking hold of her hand and rubbing with her thumb. Kathy nodded at her, before starting to speak;

"I had dropped Eli off at school then went for groceries. I got home a little after nine I guess, and I was putting the groceries away and stuff when someone rang the doorbell. I opened it, and this man was standing there. He asked to use the phone, said he was having car troubles and his cell phone wasn't working, so I said okay." She paused for a second, sniffling a bit, "God, I was so stupid."

"Kathy, no – don't do that, sweetie," Olivia whispered to her, giving her a bit of comfort, "What happened next?"

"Something felt off, so I closed the door and put the lock on, and I went to the kitchen to get the phone. I knew Elliot was in Queens for the father-son breakfast at Eli's school, so I text him, told him to call the cops and send them to the house. Anyway, I got the landline phone and went back to the door, opened it and he was gone. I closed it back, and suddenly this hand covered my mouth and this voice spoke in my ear, telling me I should've locked the patio door."

Tears began to drip down Kathy's cheeks, while Maureen and Kathleen were huddled together in the chair, trying their hardest to remain strong for their mother. Mark wiped Kathy's tears away while Olivia rubbed her hand, urging her to continue. The blonde managed to compose herself, swallowing hard before finding the strength to continue;

"He threw me onto the ground, onto my stomach, and got on top of me and covered my mouth with his hand. He told me if I bit him, I was dead. I refused to let him rape me, and I know it was probably incredibly stupid, but I bit him. He flipped me over and punched me a few times, and I just kept fighting and fighting, digging my nails into him; I remembered Elliot saying something before about doing that to collect DNA if something ever happens. Anyway, he wrapped his hands around my neck and started choking me, and I kept fighting until I was running out of fight. I heard the sirens and I played dead, hoping he would stop; which he did. I heard him run out, and the next thing I know, the cops have kicked the door in and they came running in with the paramedics and Elliot too. I told him what the guy looked like, and just – he had this look on his face like he knew who I was talking about."

"What did the guy look like, Kathy?" Fin asked, keeping his voice relaxed so she would remain calm as well.

"He had green eyes, and dark hair mixed with a bit of grey, a scar under his left eye. He was about six feet tall I guess, kinda stocky build, and was wearing a black sweatshirt with jeans and black sneakers. He had on sunglasses when I answered the door, so I didn't see his eyes properly then, but I saw them when he attacked me." Kathy explained. Fin jotted down all the notes before looking at Olivia, who nodded her head and stood up.

"Okay, we're gonna catch this bastard, but I need you to listen to me – all of you," she looked around at them all, "Mark, please be careful and stay here with Kathy tonight, and Kathy, we'll get security outside your door." She looked at Maureen and Kathleen, "Girls, stay safe and stay together; I suggest you both and Lizzie and Eli go up to your grandparents for the weekend."

"We better call Dickie too; he was coming up this weekend anyway, so I'll tell him to meet us at grandma and grandpa's house." Maureen suggested to her sister. Kathleen nodded in agreement, before looking up at Olivia;

"Have you talked to Dad? Is he safe?"

"Your father is safe, I can promise you that." Olivia replied, nodding her head. The girls nodded their heads, before standing up and hugging both Olivia and Fin once again. Olivia pulled out one of her business cards and wrote her cell phone number on the back, before handing it over to Kathy and making her promise to call if she needed anything. She and Fin then bid everyone farewell, before leaving out together. Once outside, they slipped into the squad car before looking at each other.

"Next move?" Fin asked as he started the engine. Olivia pulled out her phone, scrolling through.

"I know some folks at _The Ledger,_ " her fingers began dancing across the screen, "We need to get Harris's picture circulating, and we need to do it fast."

* * *

Following the morning's incidents, the rest of the day was seemingly uneventful. They were tracking Harris's every move, but he seemed to have flown under the radar and they weren't able to find him or his vehicle anywhere. After talking to former inmates throughout the morning – as they had been given the whereabouts of a couple more following their chat with Amber Holland – Sonny and Amanda were now spending the afternoon at their desks, going over notes and adding more notes to the evidence board. Fin was checking out a lead involving a possible place where Harris was probably staying, and Olivia was now on the phone yet again, though this time, it was Elizabeth Stabler that had called her, informing her that she and her sisters had picked Eli up early from school and were heading to their grandparents' house.

"Okay honey, thank you for calling me and call me here or call your dad when you get there," a brief pause, "Okay sweetheart, bye." She then hung up the phone and sighed, only to have her attention captured by a knock on her already open door. She looked up, seeing Stone standing in the doorway.

"What?" she asked, removing her glasses from her face.

"I came to apologize," Stone cleared his throat as he stepped closer, "I'm sorry for sticking my nose into your business; I shouldn't have gotten involved in your personal life."

Olivia simply stared at him with a raised eyebrow for a second, before finally speaking, "I accept your apology." She then stood up to walk past him, only to be taken aback when he gently grabbed hold of her arm to stop her. She frowned and pulled away from him, giving him a glare whilst he stood before her.

"Don't touch me; I said I accept your apology, that wasn't an invitation for us to have a conversation," she folded her arms across her chest, "I don't have much to say about this case right now, so you can leave."

Peter opened his mouth to speak, when they were distracted by a voice speaking; "Liv, you got a minute?"

Olivia looked up; Fin was standing in the doorway. She pushed past Peter and headed out into the squad room, joining Fin as he stood at his desk with an open file.

"Harris's picture will be circulating by morning, but some people remember his face from ten years ago as is," he showed her an address in the Bronx, "Also did some digging, found out that Harris's aunt owns an apartment here, but she lives in Florida primarily, but there have been food deliveries to this apartment as recently as yesterday."

"Think Harris is staying there?" she wondered.

"Nothing wrong with going to find out." Fin replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"Okay," Olivia breathed out, "Take Rollins with you; first check out the place where these deliveries came from then go to the apartment."

"On it." Fin replied before shouting for Amanda to join him. Olivia took a deep breath, glancing at the open file on Fin's desk. The picture of Harris was pinned to the front cover, his piercing green eyes were seemingly pouring into her own brown ones, causing a shiver to run down her spine as she stared at the photo.

"We will get you, you son of a bitch."

* * *

Recess had just begun on the playground of the elementary school just a few blocks from the 16th Precinct of Manhattan. Children were running and screaming in delight, laughing together as they chased each other around and played games. A couple teachers were hovering around, engaging in light conversation with one another as they monitored the energetic group of five and six-year olds.

He stood at the gate, watching before smirking as his eyes landed on whom he was looking for.

A curly haired little boy with blue eyes, whom was running and laughing with a couple other boys. He knew who this little boy was, and if he were to get to this child, then she would come running straight into his trap.

This was Noah Porter-Benson, Olivia's son.

He watched as the little boy ran around with his friends, throwing a baseball and giggling to himself, his blonde curls bouncing to and fro. A sinister smirk was on his lips, he glanced around once more, before making a few noises to see if he could get the child's attention.

"Psst; hey kid."

The curly haired little boy looked up, an innocent smile on his face as he stepped forward.

"Hey Noah; your mom told me to come pick you up." The lie rolled of his tongue so easily. He watched the little boy's face screw up in confusion, his little curls falling into his eyes as he looked up at him.

"Are you one of Mommy's friends?" he wondered. He nodded his head, giving a smile to the little boy.

"Yeah I am," he held his hand out, "Come on, I'll take you to her." _"Come on kid, grab my hand."_ He thought to himself.

But perhaps he didn't realize that one should never make an attempt to abduct the child of a cop, a child whom could sense when something was off, and a child whose mother was a Lieutenant with the NYPD and had taught him all about not going with anyone he didn't know.

"Let me tell my teacher." He spoke slowly. Before he could grab the blue fabric of the coat, the little boy had run off as if he was going to get his teacher. He looked up, just as the female teacher began looking up with wide eyes.

And when she pointed towards him and began screaming for the children to get off the playground, he took off running towards his car. He jumped into the black jeep and sped off down the street, breathing out as it dawned on him that his plan had failed completely.

And inside the school, the teacher had immediately picked up the phone and dialed the number on Noah's emergency contact information form;

" _Olivia Benson."_

"Ms. Benson, we need you to come to the school right away; a man tried to lure Noah away."

* * *

 _ **Dun dun dun! I know I know, a whole lot happened in this update! Please though, leave some comments. and I do hope you all enjoy it! Until next time... xoxo**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey beautiful humans!**

 **Thank you again for all your feedback on chapters 1 thru 13 so far, I'm so glad you're all enjoying this fic. I'm enjoying writing it. I'm not sure how far it will go; maybe until part 20ish, but I'm enjoying every bit of it!**

 **So, here we are with part 14. Police come to Noah's school, Harris gets spooked, and Noah meets Elliot. Just enjoy it guys :)**

 **WARNING: MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 14**

NYPD police cars were present with blue and red lights flashing as the black squad car came to a screeching halt in front of the elementary school. Sonny and Olivia jumped out of the car, running towards the entrance where a few police officers were standing around. After flashing their badges, the lieutenant and her detective ran straight into the cafeteria area where the students were being held following the playground incident. Olivia was immediately greeted by the principal, and she introduced him to Sonny.

"Mommy!"

She whirled around, seeing Noah running towards her. She immediately knelt down and engulfed the little boy in a huge hug, squeezing him as tight as possible as she blinked away the tears that were threatening to spill down her cheeks.

"Hey sweet boy, are you alright? Are you hurt or anything?" she pulled back a bit, cupping his face with both hands. Noah shook his head, his blue eyes sparkling as he looked up at her.

"I'm not hurt, Mommy; I'm okay." He assured her. She looked him over once again before hugging him tightly, whispering that she was glad he was alright and that he had done a great job by going to tell his teacher. She kissed his curls and told him to go sit back down with his friends, before she then stood up properly to speak to his teacher.

"Ms. Benson, I'm so sorry this has happened," she immediately began apologizing, "We were out there watching them, next thing I know, Noah is running over to us to tell us that some man is saying he's here to pick him up. I could see in his eyes that he was confused by it, and I was confused too considering you hadn't mentioned anyone other than who we already have on the emergency contacts."

"Did you happen to get a look at him?" Olivia asked, looking around the room. She spotted Sonny standing over near a few tables, talking to a few students to see if they had seen anything.

"All I saw is that he had on a dark colored sweatshirt along with jeans. I didn't get a look at his face or anything." The teacher replied. Olivia nodded and thanked her, before going back over to Noah and his friends.

"Hi Miss Olivia." A few of his peers greeted. The group remembered her face from when she had come to the school a few weeks earlier to speak to the class about not talking to strangers and being safe.

"Hi guys," she smiled a bit before holding her hand out for Noah, "Come here sweetheart, let me talk to you."

Noah happily took hold of her hand, allowing his mother to lead him a little further away from the group of students. Olivia knelt down in front of her son, holding his hands as she spoke to him;

"Sweetheart tell me exactly what happened."

"Okay," Noah nodded before explaining; "A man was waiting by the gate, and he said for me to come over, but I didn't go over too far to him, just a little bit but I stayed inside the gate. He said that you told him to pick me up from school, and I asked him if he was your friend and he said yes. Mommy, I met all your friends already, so I knew he wasn't your friend. He isn't Uncle Sonny or Uncle Fin, or Auntie Amanda or Lucy, so I knew to say no. He said he would take me to you and he tried to get me to hold his hand, but I said I would tell my teacher first, and I ran over to my teacher and told her. When she saw him, she started yelling for everyone to come over and go inside and he ran away."

"Good boy, you did really well going to tell your teacher," Olivia stroked some curls away from his face, "What did the man look like, sweetheart? What was he wearing?"

"He had green eyes, and a scar under this eye," Noah pointed to his left eye before continuing, "And dark hair. He had on a black shirt and jeans too."

Olivia felt her heart beat faster than it already words, her hands starting to shake ever so slightly. Tears pooled in her eyes straight away, but these were not tears of fear. No, this was rage. This was Harris yet again, and while he had already gone far enough when he raped the Stabler girls or called her office and so much as uttered her son's name, this was beyond too far now. This man had come to her son's school, had tried so boldly to abduct the little boy. He had crossed every single line far beyond the point of coming back, and now, Olivia was ready to end him once and for all.

She ruffled her son's hair before standing up properly, trying to think for a second as she thought about what to do. She told Noah to go sit with his friends for a second, then she signaled for Sonny to come over. He signaled to the children that he would be back in a few before he then made his way over to his lieutenant.

"What's up?"

"He's gone too far, Sonny; way too far," she breathed out, glancing around before looking at him, "We gotta think of something, and we gotta think of it fast; I think we're gonna work this weekend."

"No Lieu, you need to be at home this weekend with protection," Sonny told her straight away, "Liv, it's getting too dangerous for you. Does Chief Dodds know that Harris is really after you?"

Olivia sighed, before shaking her head and glancing down at the ground. Sonny's eyes went wide at the admission. He looked around for a moment, before leaning close and speaking in a whisper;

"You don't need to be on this case, Liv; if he knew, he'd take you off."

"Which is exactly why he doesn't know, and he won't find out," she gave him a knowing look, "Carisi, if he knew that Harris would after me, he would force me to be off this case and if I stand down, then Harris keeps escalating until he gets my attention and lures me to him. I need to stay on this, so I can stay one step ahead of him."

"And what happens if he crosses another line and comes directly for you, and God forbid, actually gets to you?" Sonny argued.

"He won't get me without a fight," she placed her hand on his shoulder, "Relax, please; Elliot is staying with me and Noah this weekend for extra protection; we're gonna be fine. We are gonna get this bastard, I know we will."

Sonny looked at her for a second, before sighing. He knew there was no point in arguing with he seasoned lieutenant, as there was no way she would stand down and let someone else fight a battle for her. This was her fight and she was going to do whatever it took to take Harris down, even if it meant putting her own life in danger. It was one thing that Sonny admired about her, but it was also something that made him worry sometimes as well.

"If we don't take him down by Monday, you're getting off the case – deal?"

Olivia hesitated for a second, before nodding her head and whispering,

"You have my word."

* * *

He should have known that he would not be able to take Noah Porter-Benson. This was the son of Olivia Benson, a lieutenant in the NYPD. She had been a cop for almost thirty years and had worked in Special Victims for nineteen of those years. She had no doubt instilled the safety tactics into the little boy that was now her son – teaching him not to talk to strangers, to tell someone if he felt as though he were in danger. He should have known this wouldn't work, but now he had to figure out another way to get to her.

But he was running out of options. She was a step ahead of him. Cops littered the blocks of his targets; there was no doubt going to be even more at the school. There were cops on the blocks of the Stabler girls, of the Stabler home in Queens. He was lost at what step to take next, and that frightened him because Lowell Harris was never one to lost control of a situation – well, at least not recently. In prison, he could call the shots, have control over some of the inmates he had allied with, once for protection purposes only for him to be able to take some control. When he was released, he waited a while before seeking out his first target to get Olivia's attention.

When he first went to prison a decade earlier, he had vowed then to get revenge against Elliot Stabler, but especially Olivia Benson, for leading to his stint in prison. Elliot may have helped her with the arrest, but really, it was Olivia Benson's fault that things had even spiraled out of control. She was the one who came into Sealview undercover, she was the one who uncovered his actions and behaviors in the prison, and she was the one who helped that young girl to identify the mole on his genitals – because she had seen it too when he had her in the basement. The positive identification combined with other evidence that was found against him ultimately led to him being imprisoned.

But still, all of this wouldn't have begun if Olivia Benson had minded her business and never come into Sealview undercover.

He turned onto his block where his aunt's apartment was in the Bronx, his eyes going wide when he saw the cop cars littering the streets. There were dogs sniffing around, officers everywhere, and when he squinted his eyes, he could see Detective Odafin Tutuola and another blonde-haired detective. They were exiting the apartment building, a few officers were carrying boxes and loading them into the squad car. He swallowed nervously, his palms sweating slightly as it dawned on him that they were closing in around him and closing in fast.

He hit the gas, speeding off down the street, past the scene. He saw a few officers look in his direction at the sound of the screeching tires, and he wondered if any of them knew of the car they were supposed to be looking for or if they recognized him driving. He glanced in his rearview mirror; nobody was following him – at least not yet.

He had to get out of this city for a bit and figure out what to do next before he lost control completely. He refused to lose control of this. He had to get his plan together, and he had to get Olivia Benson – if it was the last thing he ever did.

* * *

"Mommy, can we order pizza tonight?"

Olivia looked up at the sound of her son's voice asking her the question. The two of them were sitting in her office; Olivia was going through some paperwork; the team were in the squad room, looking through leads and trying to find anymore information. Noah was playing games on Olivia's phone as he was laying across the sofa in her office. They had been back in the office for the last few hours since Olivia had picked him up early, and now it was nearing three in the afternoon. She was trying to take her mind off this case, but if she was being honest, she was still a bit shaken up at the events of the day.

"Yeah sweetie, we can," she sighed, standing up and coming over to him, "Noah, come here sweet boy; let me talk to you for a second." She sat herself down on the sofa with him, pushing her glasses up to rest on her forehead. Noah put the phone onto the table before moving closer to her, snuggling into her embrace as she wrapped her arms around him. She swallowed hard, running her fingers through his curls.

"Sweetie, do you remember the man in the photo on the bookshelf, beside your books in the living room?" she asked. Noah nodded his head, snuggling into her some more as he spoke, "The man that you said is your friend."

"Yeah baby, he is my friend," she sighed slightly, "His name is Elliot; we worked together for a really long time and we became best friends."

"He worked here with you?" Noah asked. Olivia nodded her head, giving him a soft smile as her mind briefly flashed to the times with her former partner.

"Yeah, he did."

"How come he doesn't work here anymore?" the little boy asked.

"Well," Olivia paused for a second, trying to figure out what to say, "Um, something happened – a long time ago, and he had to stop working here because it was making him sad; can you understand that?"

Noah nodded his head, so she continued;

"He had to stop working here, and we didn't get to talk for a really long time. Well, a few days ago, when I was working, I saw him again and we got to talk, and we have been talking a lot over the last few days."

"Can I meet him and maybe he can be my friend too?" Noah asked, his eyes lighting up as he gave her a sweet smile.

"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about actually," Olivia swallowed nervously, before finally posing the question to her son; "How would you feel if Elliot stayed with us for a couple days? You can meet him later when he comes here, and then you can get to know him too – right?"

"Hmm…he looks like he's a really nice person and you said he is your friend so that means he is nice, because you only have nice friends, so that's fine with me," Noah shrugged as he smiled at her some more, "Mommy, can we show Elliot how to make our chocolate chip pancakes and stuff?"

She giggled a bit, running her fingers through his curly hair; "Of course we can, sweet boy."

Noah had just snuggled back into her for a cuddle when the office door opened. Both of them looked up; Noah smiled at the man, as did Olivia as the familiar blue eyes poured into her browns.

Talk about perfect timing.

There, standing in a blue t-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes, was Elliot Stabler.

"Mommy, it's Elliot from the picture," Noah stood up and walked up to the tall man, sticking his little hand out, "Hi Elliot, I'm Noah."

Elliot chuckled softly, kneeling down to the little boy's height and shaking his hand, "Hi Noah, it's nice to meet you – I'm Elliot, well, you already know that eh champ?"

Noah happily nodded his head, giving him a wide smile; "Mommy said you're gonna stay with us for a couple days?"

"That's right, I am little man," Elliot ruffled his hair before standing up, just as Olivia approached them, "You alright?" He wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a comfortable embrace. She hugged him tightly, breathing in the calming scent of his cologne as she clung to him.

"Long day." She mumbled. She gave him a look with her eyes, to which Elliot nodded his head, understanding that they wouldn't talk about it now. That was always the most beautiful thing about their relationship, the way they could simply communicate with a look into each other's eyes. It was their dynamic – they knew what each other was thinking, they finished each other's sentences. They were connected; it had always been like this and seven years apart would never change that.

"You guys ready to go or what's up?" he asked. Olivia nodded her head, before patting Noah on the shoulder for him to grab his bag. As he was gathering up his bags, she grabbed her phone off the table before gathering up her bag. She stuffed some files in and grabbed her apartment keys as well as her jacket, before switching off the light to her office. She grabbed Noah's hand and led him out with Elliot following them.

"Sweetheart go wait at the elevator with Elliot for me, okay?" she told her son. Noah nodded, taking hold of Elliot's hand as they began a very enthusiastic conversation about baseball. Olivia watched them go, before approaching Fin's desk where the others were.

"You're staying inside this weekend, right?" Fin asked with a raised eyebrow. Olivia opened her mouth to speak, but Fin gave her a rather stern look which led to her rolling her eyes.

"Fine, I will," she looked between them all, "But watch your backs, and be careful. Don't throw away your whole weekend here, but please, just be careful – I don't want any of you getting hurt; and keep me in the loop. Any developments let me know."

"You got it, Lieu; we got your back." Sonny remarked, patting her shoulder.

"You just be careful, and call if you need anything." Amanda added. Olivia nodded, bidding them farewell before heading towards the exit. She was about to round the corner to go to the elevator when she heard her name being called, leading her to turn in time to see Fin rushing towards her.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Don't forget what I said," he nodded his head towards the elevator areas, "Despite all this shit going on, don't shut him out."

"Fin-" she began but he held up his hand, instead giving her a smile.

"I'm just saying," he held her shoulders and turned her around, ushering her out the door, "Bye Liv; see you Monday; and we got you."

Olivia looked back, giving him a wave before joining Noah and Elliot at the elevator. As she watched them chatting away about their favorite baseball players, a soft smile formed on her lips. She was grateful they were getting along, and while these weren't the most ideal circumstances, she was glad that Elliot would be staying the weekend with them. They did have quite a bit to talk about still, regarding what had happened with him over the last seven years, so maybe they could talk about that this weekend. It would probably be tough, but they needed to have the conversation – right?

The elevator doors opened and the three of them stepped on. As the elevator began its descent, she and Elliot exchanged a glance. They gave each other a smile, and with the look in their eyes, there was something unspoken. They were telling each other that things would be okay, and he was telling her that he had her back.

And those looks made her feel so incredibly safe. _He_ made her feel safe.

* * *

During the ride home, Olivia couldn't help but feel calm, a feeling of familiarity washing over her as she remembered the dozens of time she and Elliot were traveling these very streets together; he would always be driving and she would ride in the passenger seat. Of course, things were obviously different though as Noah was chatting away happily as he sat in the backseat, as Elliot had been telling him that maybe one day they could go to the batting cages together, something that sounded extremely appealing to Noah and led to him eagerly nodding his head. Olivia smiled to herself as she listened to their chatter, and for some reason, this dynamic felt so incredibly _normal._

Once they arrived at the apartment complex, Elliot got out and helped both Noah and Olivia out as well. The three of them gave a wave to the police officers that were posted for protection, before they all headed inside. They took the elevator up to the third floor, then made their way down the hall and into the apartment. Olivia put the locks on as well as the chain, before sending Noah into his room to put his school things away and to change into more comfortable wear. She told Elliot to make himself at home in the guest room, to which Elliot nodded and thanked her before going to put his bag away.

Olivia sighed to herself and made her way into her own bedroom. She removed her blazer and threw it onto the back of her desk chair, before then placing her badge and gun onto her dresser. She changed into a pair of yoga bottoms and a long NYPD t-shirt, before then making her way back into the living room. Noah had changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants, and now he and Elliot were sitting on the floor, building LEGOs together. She stood against the wall for a second, a smile on her lips as she watched them getting along so well. Noah was chatting away and Elliot looked to be having the time of his life as he sweetly helped the little boy.

And reasons that Olivia couldn't – or wouldn't – explain, she felt her heart swell as the butterflies fluttered in her stomach. She could feel it in her soul that this weekend was going to cause a shift between her and Elliot, and as much as that scared her, she couldn't wait to see what was going to happen.

* * *

 **Well well, another chapter is finished. Elliot is spending the weekend at Olivia's to protect her and Noah, but I mean, it is Elliot and Olivia, so plenty of things could happen with him spending the weekend there. Or maybe, I'll just write an epic plot twist and have something unexpected. Who knows? Until next time.. xoxo**


	15. Chapter 15

**HELLO EVERYONE! Man, I thank you all for all your support and love and everything, especially all the reviews. You guys are awesome, and your kind words keep me motivated.**

 **I now present to you part 15. Elliot finally tells Olivia what the last seven years have been like for him, and well...well just read.**

 **WARNING: THIS STORY MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 15**

The remainder of the evening ran smoothly. They had ordered a huge pizza along with some breadsticks and chicken wings, which Elliot had insisted on paying for despite Olivia's protests. They enjoyed their dinner while Noah chatted away happily with Elliot as they continued to get to know one another. Noah had asked Elliot quite a few questions regarding being a police officer, and while Olivia had initially been worried that her son's innocent questions would serve as triggers for her former partner, she was put at ease when Elliot appeared relaxed and answered her son's questions. They had briefly glossed over the incident that led to Elliot's retirement; Noah had mentioned the fact that his mother had said she and Elliot no longer worked together due to something making him sad, to which Elliot replied with a brief explanation; _"Something did make me sad little man, so I couldn't work there anymore."_ Noah didn't press it, but instead told Elliot that he hoped that he was happy now; _"My Mommy always says to not stay somewhere that makes you said, so I hope you're happy now."_

The night was relaxed as they watched _Wreck It Ralph_ together; Olivia found herself amused at the fact that Elliot was just as engrossed in the film as her son. He smirked and defended his actions; _"Eli was obsessed with this movie, so I had to watch it a million times."_ Olivia simply shook her head in despair, smiling to herself as she felt so relaxed for the first time in days.

Despite wanting to stay up and talk to Elliot some more, once nine o'clock rolled around, Noah was ready to go to bed. While Elliot remained in the lounge area to tidy up a bit, Olivia and Noah stuck to their normal bedtime routine. The little boy changed into his pajamas, then he and Olivia read a book together before he then fell asleep. Olivia tucked him in and kissed his forehead, whispering 'goodnight' and that she loved him. She then put his night light on – and checked to make sure his window was locked and secured properly – before then closing the door halfway and returning to the lounge. Elliot had tidied up Noah's toys and switched the television back over to some late night talk show and was now loading the dishwasher. She stood watching him for a second, a sigh escaping her lips as a strange sense of normality washed over her.

She grabbed two bottles of water before retreating to sit on the sofa. He joined her some moments later, thanking her for the cold drink before taking a long swig. She studied him for a moment, a soft expression on her face. His muscles looked so good in the shirt he was wearing, his arm muscles flexed as he brought the water bottle up to his lips to drink. His hair was greying – facial hair included – but his blue eyes were still shining with the same passion and determination. Despite seven years apart, her Elliot was still there, and she was certainly grateful for that. Maybe she hadn't lost him completely like she tried to make herself believe.

She wanted to know what she had missed out on over the last seven years though. Maybe he would talk to her about that.

"El?"

He looked up from the show, giving her a smile; "Yeah?"

She hesitated for a second, fiddling with the label on her water bottle before asking;

"Tell me what's been going on these last seven years."

She saw him tense up and hesitate, and she wondered if she was asking for too much. She really did want to know, but she also wouldn't force him to talk about it if she wasn't ready. She knew he said they would wait till the case was over, but she wanted to know now and figured that since they would be spending the weekend together, it would be a good talking point. However, with his expression now, she thought that maybe she had overstepped, and she certainly did not want to make him feel uncomfortable with her questioning.

"El, if you don't want to talk about-"

"No," he stopped her, holding his hand up, "No, it's fine – I just…it was a lot, Liv; some things I'm still dealing with."

"That bad?" she asked. He stared at her for a second, before sighing slightly. He switched off the television, leaving them to sit in silence, with the only sounds to be heard being the quiet whirring of the central air conditioning and the dull hum of the refrigerator. The two stared into each other's eyes for a second; her brown eyes full of questions, his blue eyes full of untold stories. This scene now was similar to that in the early hours of this very morning, just over twelve hours ago when during the pre-dawn hours, he was sitting in this very apartment in silence, listening to her talk and helping her to clear her head.

I guess now it was time the roles were reversed.

"As you know, after Jenna's shooting, I shut down – on my family, on you…" he began. He paused for a second, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. She reached over and took hold of his hand, her lips curling into a small yet supportive smile as she rubbed his hand with her thumb.

"I still remember the day of the shooting; holding Jenna as she died, her blood all over my hands and my shirt. I remember Cragen taking my gun, and I remember him trying to get me to talk to the paramedics and all that when they got here. I just – I pushed past them and left the building. I saw you getting the blood cleaned off you and Fin was talking to you and you were crying, and I wanted to hold you, but I couldn't. I was just in some daze; I had to go, and I left; with the intention of coming back of course – but I left."

He took a deep breath before continuing;

"I remember coming home, still with blood all over me; Eli was at daycare, and Kathy was asking me what happened, but it was like her voice muffled. I could hear my heart pounding louder than I could hear her talking. She tried to get me to look at her, and I remember all I mumbled out was _'There was a shooting at the precinct; I shot Jenna'_ and then I just went upstairs. I stood in my shower for a long time, my mind was racing, and I just kept hearing that shot, kept seeing Jenna fall the floor. The blood was washing off, but I still felt so dirty and I scrubbed over and over, convincing myself there were still traces of her blood on me even though it was all gone. I remember Kathy telling me that she had called you to check on you and to find out what happened, and you told her what happened. She tried to be there for me, God knows she did, and I was trying to let her in, but it was hard."

He could feel the anxiety creeping into him, but Olivia was still rubbing his hand with her thumb. It was putting him at ease, and giving him the strength to carry on and keep talking;

"Cragen called me after a few days and left a voicemail telling me that IAB had cleared me for that shooting, and that I was free to return to work anytime. You called me that same day, and I didn't answer you. Liv, I want you to know that I listened to every single voicemail you ever left me, but every time I picked up that phone to call you, I could just see your face with that horrified look on your face, and I figured you thought I was a monster for shooting Jenna. I couldn't face you, Liv; I needed some more time – believe me when I say that I had every intention on calling you back; I never meant for it to go on as long as it has done."

"I know you didn't, El; I know that now." She whispered to him.

"Kathy was trying so hard, she tried so hard – she gave me space by letting me just sit in silence, she didn't try to push me; not at first. Then, after three weeks of me barely saying anything other than when spoken to or when Eli was talking to me, she started pushing me more, begging me to tell her about what was going on. I wouldn't tell her; I didn't want those images in her head. I was just trying to protect her, but I got so frustrated with everything that I started lashing out at her. Three weeks at home turned into four months, and I was just existing in the same house. I would go out to my mother's beach house and stay for long periods of time because I knew she wouldn't push me. I was trying to protect my family, but I was losing them instead and it was killing me, along with everything else that had piled on top of me."

Olivia had tears brimming in her eyes; she sniffled slightly while Elliot looked down at their hands. She gave his hand a supportive squeeze, which he returned before finding the courage to continue;

"All the guys were calling to check on me, you were calling and leaving messages; I was avoiding all of you like the plague. A few times when I got back from the beach house, Kathy actually told me that you had come by to see me and I wasn't home. Hell, I'll even admit now that a couple other times when you did come by, I was upstairs, but I told Kathy to tell people I weren't home, including you. I just couldn't face anyone, but I especially couldn't face you. I was afraid that you still saw me as some monster for shooting a victim, and I was afraid of what else would happen next. I didn't know what to do, Liv; and when Cragen called again and told me that IAB wanted to go over my entire jacket and have me submit to a psych evaluation and anger management, I lost it. I started thinking hard about the job; how it was was already taking so much from me and slowly causing me to lose my mind. Kathy was already adamant that I get some normality back into my life, but I just couldn't do it. I put my papers in, and when Cragen found out, he called me to talk about it. Liv…I…"

He trailed off a bit; Olivia watched as he swallowed the lump in his throat. Olivia shuffled closer, looping her arm through his and leaning her head on his shoulder. She stroked his bicep gently, giving him the support he needed, just as she always did;

"I remember the day; I was a mess – told Cragen I couldn't do it anymore and he told me he respected it and that I had truly earned my retirement, and he told me that I should call you. He didn't say anything about how you were doing, but I could hear it in his voice that you were struggling and that we really did need to speak. I remember just holding this picture of us that I still have; me and you at the NYPD picnic, we were smiling together, and I was just staring at it with tears in my eyes, and I told Cragen that I couldn't talk to you. I was being a coward, I hold my hands up; told him I couldn't talk to you, so he said he would. I remember we hung up, and I just held that photo in my hands and sobbed; I was a mess. I continued to be a mess for the rest of the year and the year after that; slowly drifting further and further away from my family. Kathy and I were going through a cycle; fight and make up, fight some more and make up some more. She was trying to convince me to see someone, and I refused."

He let out a breath, and Olivia continued to absentmindedly stroke his arm;

"I started drinking – a lot; going through probably a six pack of beer on the daily. Kathy was losing her patience with me. We were just existing in the same house then; fighting. Eli was my only source of light, but he was in school too, so it was rough."

He paused for a brief moment;

"Then I remembered hearing on the news about you going missing. Liv, when I say that was the worst time in my life; I remembered hearing something about rapist and serial killer, and that you were missing, that you had been taken by him. The kids tried to shield me, even Kathy tried to shield me, but Kathleen kept me in the loop. I started having nightmares about getting a phone call saying you were dead, and for those four days, I watched the news like a hawk, wondering if they would find you, praying to God. When they found you, I was so relieved, and it was then that I made an attempt to get into contact with you. Your number had been changed and I couldn't reach you, but I did send you those flowers. I had also started to cut down on my drinking and started telling myself that I had to get better for you; that you wouldn't want me like this. I still refused to see a shrink, but it was something."

Olivia turned so that she was facing him, though she was still holding onto his arm. She could tell there was something else he was about to hit her with, so she simply gave him a supportive smile whilst whispering to him that it was okay to continue.

"I kept trying to tell myself that I was okay; even though I knew I wasn't. I was trying to get better, trying to work on my relationships with my kids. Well, it was shortly after I sent those flowers to you – maybe about a month or two after – that things spiraled again. My mother died, and that devastated me considering me were getting so close for the first time ever; but yeah, she went to the doctor and was diagnosed with cancer, and two weeks later she was dead. About a month after that, Kathleen relapsed and that was a power struggle for about two months until we finally got her back on track. About three months after we got her sorted out, I caught Kathy cheating on me and-"

"Whoa," Olivia held up her hand, her eyes going wide in shock; "Kathy? She was cheating on you? Kathy Stabler who I thought once believed that me and you were having an affair?"

"The exact one," Elliot shrugged, "Came home on a Friday night from seeing Lizzie and Dickie – Eli had gone upstate with her parents to spend the weekend. Kathy had told me she was working and that's why she couldn't hang with me and the twins, but I came home and there she was with some guy in our bed. I lost it; I didn't hit her but I sure as hell punched the shit out of him. I took some clothes and left the house that night; went out to the beach house. All that sobriety shit went out the window; started drinking again because I just felt like everything was crumbling - this time it was big bottles of liquor, cases of beer gone within a day or two. That was also around the time that I heard that bastard Lewis had escaped, and I remembered seeing you on television making that statement, then I later heard that the bastard had taken you again, but I didn't know how true it was. Either way, it sent me down a spiral again and it was tough. Kathy filed for divorce and I didn't even argue; I just signed the papers. We were properly divorced by the summer of twenty-fourteen. I got an apartment, made it look as homely as possible, and tried to see Eli as much as possible. I still wasn't myself, and that's when I finally made the decision to start attending AA meetings and see a shrink."

"El, you go to Alcoholics Anonymous and see a therapist?" she asked. Elliot nodded his head, before reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a pin and showed it to her, and Olivia recognized it straight away as one that Cragen once had in his desk as well.

"I got it when I hit one year of sobriety, so in twenty-fifteen," he explained, placing the trinket back into his pocket, "One year has turned into three years of sobriety now."

He took her hand in his again, giving her a smile; "You kept me going through it all; just the thought of you. I maybe didn't contact you but-"

"You couldn't, my number changed." She reminded him.

"But I could have called the precinct and asked someone to transfer me to you, but I didn't, and I am sorry for that; I guess something in me knew I needed to get myself together first," he looked up from their joined hands and into her sparking brown eyes, "I was always going to come back to you, but I didn't know it would be like this."

"Elliot, I'm so sorry I didn't make more of an effort to call you, I should have-"

"No," he put his hand on her cheek, "No Liv; this one's on me – I should've made that effort to call you, so don't; it's okay."

"It may not be the most ideal circumstances, but we're back in each other's lives now and that's all that matters," she shuffled closer, putting her hand on his shoulder, "Just don't leave again."

"Oh hell no, I'll never leave you again." Elliot chuckled. She nodded, before putting her arms around him, hugging him gently. His hand was splayed across her lower back, his head was nestled against her shoulder.

"For the record, I never thought you were a monster," she mumbled, "You're a good man, Elliot; you have always been a good man."

"You never hated me?" he wondered, still holding her tightly.

"Never," she stroked the back of his neck, "I never hated you; you can't hate someone that you love."

And just like that, both parties froze. Elliot pulled back, his hand still on her back as he looked at her face. Her hands were still on his arms as well, their bodies still quite close together as they stared into each other's eyes. Her browns were now full of shock and slight fear at her own admission, and his blues were full of shock, but with a clear sign of… _hope._

"Love?" He paused for a second, "You love me?"

Olivia swallowed, staring at him before nodding her head, finally revealing the truth to herself.

"You were married, and I knew I shouldn't," her voice dropped to a whisper, "But I did then, and I've never stopped."

"Can I tell you something else then?"

She looked at him; her heart began pounding even faster when he lifted a hand to stroke her cheek with his thumb;

"I was married and I also knew I shouldn't," he was whispering; "But I did then too, and I never stopped either."

A couple tears slipped down Olivia's cheeks as she gazed at him, shuffling closer so his arm could drop around her waist; "At the hospital after Kathleen's attack, Kathy and I were talking in the hallway. She told me she knew she lost you long before the divorce, that she knew where you wanted to be even when you refused to admit it to yourself, and a reason why you gave me this."

She reached into her shirt and pulled the shiny metal from under it, revealing the _Semper Fi_ medallion that she had been wearing all day under her clothes.

"Where did you want to be, Elliot?"

"I felt like such an asshole for thinking like this while I was married and with young children, but now that I'm divorced and free and back in your life again, I feel like it's okay for me to tell you the truth…"

He rest his forehead against hers, a couple tears slipping down his cheek as well as he finally made the revelation;

"I wanted to be with you. I didn't want to be just your work partner, I wanted to be your _life_ partner."

She tasted salty tears on her tongue as she licked her lips. She pulled back a bit, tilting her head up to look into his eyes;

"Wanted?"

"Wanted then," he pulled her closer, "Still want to now; if you'll have me."

Olivia gazed into his blue eyes, searching for any signs of uncertainty in this. There was none. She saw the love he had for her, she saw the sincerity. She should have always known, especially the way his eyes lit up or the way he smiled at her when he saw her. While they couldn't go back and change anything about their lives, there was always a future to look forward to.

And despite the situation they were currently in – with Harris and the case surrounding him – she was glad to not have to go through all of this alone. She had her best friend by her side again, and that was more than she could ever ask for.

"Liv."

"El."

They both chuckled as they spoke at the same time. They gazed into each other's eyes, before Elliot then leaned closer, his breath ghosting over her face as he asked;

"Can I kiss you?"

"Not if I kiss you first."

And with that, their lips finally met in the middle, setting their souls on fire as nearly twenty years of _wanting_ and _longing_ finally came to head with a simple kiss between two soulmates.

* * *

 _ **How's that for the end of a chapter? I hope you all enjoyed it! Leave some reviews and all that please! Until next time...xoxo**_


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello everyone!**

 **I must apologize for taking my sweet time with this update. But I'm here now with part 16. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I hope you all enjoy it. A little Bensler cuddling, Harris gets spooked again, and we check in on the Stablers as they hang out at their grandparents house upstate.**

 **WARNING: MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. READ AT OWN RISK.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 16**

The former partners pulled apart a few moments later, gazing intently at each other while their chests heaved up and down as they tried to catch their breaths from the intensity of their kiss. The world seemed to have stopped as they stared at each other, blues poured into browns as they came to terms with what had just happened. All they could hear was the sound of their hearts beating and their heavy breathing.

This was something that had been almost twenty years in the making. Twenty years of wanting something they couldn't have, of longing to know what this would feel like. Twenty years of wishing they could cross that line, twenty years of fighting to pretend the feelings didn't exist. Though they hadn't seen each other in the last seven years, it was clear by the way their hearts were beating and by the looks in their eyes that nothing had changed. No matter how scared he was to face her, no matter how angry she ever was with him, nothing had crushed the feelings they had for one another. It was there. The chemistry, the sparks, the connection, the love – it was all there.

She suddenly shuffled closer, straddling his hips and wrapping her arms around his neck. Her lips pressed to his once again, she felt his hands slip under the shirt she was wearing and rest on the bare skin of her back. She let out a low moan when she felt him slide his tongue into her mouth, the sound causing him to shudder slightly as she sounded so incredibly sexy. His fingers dug into the soft flesh of her back, and she gripped onto his shoulders as her tongue danced with his.

She sucked his bottom lip as she finally pulled away, breathing heavily as she gazed down into his warm blue eyes. Her eyes fluttered shut as he peppered light kisses over her neck and up to the shell of her ear, a familiar feeling stirring in her abdomen as she held onto his shoulders. Twenty years she had waited for this, and while she wanted nothing more than to drag him to her bedroom right now and let out the twenty years of longing that had built up, she knew they needed to talk about this first.

"Elliot," she moaned quietly, feeling him suck the soft skin of her neck, "El, wait…El."

"Mm," he pulled away before looking up at her, his fingers gently stroking her lower back as he looked up at her, "What's wrong, Liv?"

"Talk to me, first," she shuffled around so that she was sitting on the sofa, but her legs were still draped across his, "Are you sure about this? You know me, you know how hard it is for me to give myself to people."

"Liv, come here," Elliot pulled her into his lap, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around her waist whilst he kissed her clothed shoulder;

"I think you're forgetting that I know everything about you, even the parts you want to forget," he tapped her nose, earning a giggle from her; "Liv, nothing will drive me away from you, you know that. This has been years in the making, and I know we've only been back in each other's lives for a matter of days, but I'm not going anywhere again. We can go at your pace with this though, Liv; there's no rush."

She looked into those blue eyes, seeing nothing but love and honesty shining back at her whilst he gave her the softest smile. She swallowed as she gazed up at him, and she knew that no matter how scared she was about the long term and the commitment, there was nobody else she'd rather take the risks with. It had always been Elliot. When she was with Kurt Moss, or with David Haden, or with Brian Cassidy, or even with Ed Tucker, she knew there was a reason she had never settled completely with them. She would never bare her soul to these men and the reason why was currently staring at her.

They weren't Elliot Stabler.

Elliot Stabler could piss her off and make her want to rip her hair out. He could call her on her shit and she could call him on his. They could have the most intense arguments; she could call him an _'arrogant bastard'_ or a _'stubborn son of a bitch'._ That was how they were; this was their relationship. The bad times would happen, but despite that, they made each other just as happy. He protected her, he made her laugh when she was sad, he comforted her when needed. She protected him, she fought for him, she could get through and stop his fits of rage with just calling his name. They had always been two halves of a whole, with a connection so strong and deep that even they couldn't put it into words. They were so close and so protective of one another, that they literally would have died for each other.

And she wouldn't have it any other way. Elliot Stabler had always been her other half. Seven years hadn't changed that. Twenty years later, he was still her other half.

So, despite how scared she was of the what ifs and the future, she knew that there was no other person she would rather take the risk with than the man who had always made her beat faster with every look and send her skin tingling with every touch.

' _You're the longest relationship that I've ever had with a man. Who else would put up with me?'_

She never wanted anyone else to put up with her; she just wanted him.

"Liv?"

Her browns flicked back to his blues; he was staring down at her, his eyes searching hers as he tried to get a read on what she was thinking. Her lips curled into a smile. She draped her arms around his neck, stroking his skin with her thumb as she rest her forehead against hers.

"It's always been you," she whispered, her lips touching his as she spoke, "It always has been, and always will be _you._ "

He chuckled, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"I'll give you the world, I promise."

She giggled, leaning close to him, rubbing her nose against his;

"Not if I give you the world first."

He burst out laughing before finally kissing her yet again, a bubble of love closing around them as they gave into what had been twenty years in the making. They both knew that there was a lot going on in their world now with Harris running loose, but no matter what, they would get through this together.

Olivia knew that she would always be fine, as long as Elliot was by her side.

* * *

Elliot and Olivia stayed up for a little while longer, making a pathetic attempt to watch a film though they continued to be distracted by each other. They'd made out and giggled throughout the film, thus missing most of it as they laid together on the sofa. By the end of the film, they were once again engrossed in a make out session whilst the credits rolled on the screen. Elliot's hands were stroking her back whilst she kept her hand on the back of his head, his body resting on top of hers whilst they giggled against each other's lips. They were enjoying this, this chance to explore, this new territory for them. It would seem like a miracle to others; the way these two could go from being so entwined to being apart for seven years, only to end up exactly like this despite being apart for so long. However, these two knew something like this would happen. It was Elliot and Olivia – the two that were destined to be together, to be _partners for life_.

"Explain to me why we didn't do this years ago? Why didn't I go through with divorcing Kathy and be where I was meant to be all along?" Elliot wondered, playing with her hair as she lay cuddled up to him. Olivia gave him a funny look before burying her face back into his neck, kissing his skin as she closed her eyes.

"Well, I do believe that case where you almost lost your shield because they thought you used excessive force is the reason you went home in the first place, then Kathy was pregnant, so you had to go be there for your baby." She replied, stroking her fingers up and down his chest.

"You know I wish things had been different," he sighed, leaning up on his elbow a bit to look down at her, "I mean I love my son to death, I really do, but you don't know how many times I wished you were his mother instead of Kathy."

"Elliot-"

"No, I mean I'll always love her as the mother of my children, but I should have come to you instead of going home to her," he kissed her forehead, "I'm so sorry, you know; I really am."

"Elliot, you have nothing to be sorry for," she reached up and stroked his cheek, "We just weren't meant to happen then, and we were both too stubborn to admit it," they both giggled as they rest their foreheads together, "Besides, we would've had to stop being partners, and I don't think either of us were strong enough for that then."

"You were always stronger than me, Liv; you handled it just fine without me, little miss _Lieutenant._ " Elliot smirked.

"I wanted to quit, but I knew there were victims to save – and I also knew that you wouldn't want me to quit," she shrugged, looking up at him, "Your medallion really helped me get through the rough times, so as mad as I was at you for just up and leaving me, I do thank you for it. I just…maybe part of me always kept you in the back of my head, and that little part that had you helped me to function."

"You're right, I would've never wanted you to give up on that job just because of me," he kissed her forehead, "I'm proud of you, you truly earned your shields, Liv; especially the _Lieutenant_ one. I really am so proud of you."

Olivia blushed slightly, before pressing a light kiss to his cheek. Elliot smiled, wrapping his arms back around her, cuddling her as close as possible to him. She breathed a rather content sigh, feeling so incredibly relaxed as she rested in his strong arms. Something about this felt so right, like two pieces of a puzzle were finally coming together the way they were always meant to be. He had been special since the very beginning, and now, it was time to start something that would probably turn out to be the greatest thing in their lives – for both of them.

"I'll take you on an actual first date after this whole mess with Harris is sorted out." He mumbled, his lips brushing against her hair as he spoke.

"Deal." She muttered back, snuggling into him even more, a soft smile on her face as she relaxed against him.

* * *

He was held up in a dingy motel room on Staten Island. He had managed to stop into a store and grab a few items, luckily without being recognized. Now, he was in the room, trying to figure out his next plan and where to go from here. He just knew he had to get to Olivia somehow, or get her to come to him. Maybe he could lure her into a trap but then again, she was a little too smart for that and would most likely figure out the plan before he could get to her.

"And tonight, the NYPD is asking for your help in finding a suspect wanted in two rapes in Manhattan and an assault and attempted rape in Queens…"

He turned his attention the television, his eyes going wide as his own face popped up on the news report;

"Police are looking for recently released convict Lowell Harris. Harris is wanted in the rapes of two women in Manhattan, one of which left a woman beaten and in an alley. Harris is also wanted in the assault and attempted rape of a women in Queens. He is driving a black two-thousand four Jeep Cherokee, with New York plates with the number V-F-X-four-seven-eight-two. He is considered armed and dangerous, so please call police immediately if you spot him."

Harris swallowed nervously. He couldn't stay here.

He quickly turned the television off and grabbed his essentials. He grabbed his keys before hurrying out of the room and straight outside to the parking lot. He quickly hopped into his car and started the engine, before speeding off out of the parking lot.

He couldn't go back to the city and he couldn't stay in this area. He didn't know where exactly he was going, but maybe the best option was to go north. He could go upstate, maybe cross into Canada, then wait for things to die down so he could make his next move to get to Olivia Benson.

So that's what he did, he started onto the freeway. He was going upstate.

* * *

The Malone family home was dark and secured apart from the light from the large bedroom upstairs. Maureen Stabler was sitting on the large bed with her younger sister Kathleen, texting her husband whilst playing a card game to take their minds off the chaos surrounding them. She was glad that her husband was coming up in morning to stay with them as well because she really missed him tonight and wanted nothing more than for him to hold her and tell her things were okay. However, having her siblings around helped, and she was truly grateful for the bond they all shared. Eli was in his own room down the hall, fast asleep, and Lizzie and Dickie were each in a guest room as well; Lizzie was sleeping, and Dickie was talking to his girlfriend.

"I win again." Kathleen slammed the cards down, smirking at her sister. Maureen rolled her eyes before giggling, grabbing up the cards again and handing them to her sister as it was her turn to shuffle.

"Katie, do you think we'll be okay?" Maureen asked after a few moments of silence. Kathleen glanced up, a sigh escaping her lips as she continued shuffling the cards.

"We will be Mo, in time," she bit her lip, pausing from shuffling as she looked up, "Remember what Liv always tells victims – with help and support, they'll be okay. We will be okay; we've got a good support system and we'll be fine."

"That's true," Maureen sighed, hugging her knees to her chest, "We're Stablers; Stablers are survivors."

"Exactly." Kathleen smirked. The two sisters were silent for a second; Maureen was exchanging more texts with her husband while Kathleen was switching between shuffling cards and texting a few of her own friends. Both sisters wouldn't admit how they scared they were about this whole situation, how worried they were for themselves and their siblings, their mother, their father, and even Olivia. However, they both knew they had to be strong. This was a crazy situation obviously and they weren't exactly out of the woods yet, but they also knew that they were protected. Olivia made sure they were protected, and for that, they were grateful for her.

"You know, I love how Olivia has always looked out for us," Kathleen spoke up after some moments of silence, "Like even though her and Dad haven't spoken in years, she still took time to come talk to us, to look after us and make sure we were okay after what happened. She's organized protective details for us. Like, she's awesome."

"Olivia has always made sure we're okay; no matter how angry she was with our Dad sometimes, she always made sure we were the priority," Maureen looked up, locking eyes with her sister, "Do you think she's still in love with Dad and Dad is still in love with her?"

"How do you know they loved each other?" Kathleen wondered.

"Katie, it was obvious," Maureen tilted her head to the side, giving her sister a raised eyebrow, "The way he looked at her, or the way his face would light up whenever he was talking about something he and Liv had done at work. The times we'd see them when we went to the precinct and the way she looked at him, and let's not forget how she literally went to see Grandma Bernie just to get you help because Dad was too stubborn to do it himself, or even when she saved Mom and Eli – she did that for Dad. Remember the times she came over for dinner; I saw the way she looked at Dad even if she didn't mean to look at him like that. She really loved him, and he loved her."

"I guess I never paid it much attention," Kathleen shrugged, "I guess it makes sense now, considering how lost he was during those days she was missing because of that psycho, or the way he sent her that medallion and all that. I don't think he ever cheated on Mom though, not like she did him."

"Oh no, Dad wouldn't have done that, and Olivia wouldn't have let it happen; I'm surprised Mom did," Maureen rolled her eyes, "I just…I hope now that Dad and Liv are back in each other's lives, that they stop wasting time. Life is too short and frankly, she's the only person I would ever be down with having as a step mother, so they need to get a move on."

"Liv has always been a second mother to us all anyway, so-"

"Guys, have you seen the news?!"

Maureen and Kathleen looked up, seeing their younger brother Richard – or Dickie – now rushing into the room with his phone in hand. He knelt down beside the bed, scrolling through his phone while his sisters exchanged a confused look.

"What's going on with the news Dickwad?" Kathleen asked her brother, confused as to why he had just rushed into the room.

"This is," Dickie pulled up a video from the news, showing it to his sisters, "That's the guy that hurt you guys and Mom; they're looking for him now."

Kathleen and Maureen watched the news report, their eyes going wide as they listened. The word that stuck out the most to them was the _armed and dangerous,_ and the name _Lowell Harris._ They had heard that name before, about ten years earlier. They had known it was someone that their father and his former partner had collared some years earlier, but this name was familiar.

"Isn't that the guy that Dad was once convinced did something to Olivia even though she never told him?" Kathleen asked, looking between her siblings.

"I've heard Dad mention his name before, I think not long after they arrested him," Dickie remarked, shrugging his shoulders, "Either way, he sounds dangerous and we need to all be careful. I think we should stay here for the whole week, especially since Eli is out of school for the break this upcoming week anyway. I can make some calls and stay here with you all, Grandma and Grandpa are leaving for their trip in the morning anyway, so they'll be safe there, and we can just stay here until this shit blows over."

"Maybe it's not such a bad idea." Maureen looked between them both.

"It's settled then, we can do that – I can talk to my boss and hopefully Lizzie can talk to hers, and you talk to yours too Mo; and we can call Dad and let him know the plan." Kathleen nodded, smiling at them both. The three of them then exchanged a glance, a heavy sigh escaping their lips.

This was tough, but they knew they would be safe.

But what they didn't know, is that the safety wouldn't last for long. They were about to be in danger, all thanks to someone they thought they could trust. It was only a matter of time.

* * *

 _ **I hope you all enjoyed this update! Please, leave your reviews. Until next time... xoxo**_


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello everyone.**

 **So here I am, with a new chapter. I'm not too sure how I feel about this one, I can only hope it works well and adds to the suspense/drama. I hope you all enjoy it, and please, leave your reviews - in a nice way please. I've made this part as realistic as I can so yeah, go easy on me please lol I love you guys tho.**

 **Only 3 chapters left to go after this one I think!**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 17**

 _Buzz. Buzz. Buzz._

Olivia jumped awake to the sound of her phone buzzing on her bedside table, startling her from her sleep. She carefully rolled over, careful to not wake the sleeping man beside her with his arm draped over her. She sat up and grabbed her phone, sliding her finger across and holding it up to her ear;

"Benson."

" _Liv, it's me, sorry to wake you,"_ Fin's voice replied back to her, _"We got a lead; Harris was spotted at a motel on Staten Island,"_ she could hear shuffling around and the sound of a car door opening, _"The manager at the desk called it in, she remembered seeing him – we told her not to go to the room until we got there. I'm on my way out there, and Rollins and Carisi are meeting me there."_

"I'll get ready and go out there with you." Olivia replied, carefully maneuvering herself to get out of bed. She glanced to the side of her, seeing that Elliot had rolled onto his back now but remained fast asleep nonetheless.

" _No, you won't; you're staying at yours."_ Fin argued.

"I know I said that, but I need to come with you guys," Olivia wedged the phone between her ear and shoulder as she shuffled out of the yoga bottoms she'd been wearing to sleep in; "I'm not letting this bastard keep me down. I'm getting him; for the girls. It's me that he wants."

" _Liv, you shouldn't put yourself in the line of fire and you know it."_ Fin argued.

"Fin just hurry up and get here so we can go." She told him. Fin reluctantly agreed before hanging up. Olivia put her phone onto her dresser and quickly fixed her trousers, before putting on her belt along with her holster and her gun. She changed into a grey t-shirt and clipped her badge to her hip, before pulling on her boots as well.

"It's two-fifteen in the morning and you're going to work?"

She jumped before looking at the bed; Elliot was giving her a tired, small smile. She gave a soft smile back, before wandering over and quickly pecking his lips.

"I have to," She tied her hair into a messy ponytail. "They have a lead, I'm riding with Fin and we're meeting the others there to check it out. I can't let Harris win this battle."

"I just want you to be safe, Liv."

"And I'll be safe Elliot, I promise," she slipped on the _Semper Fi_ medallion and tucked it under her shirt; "Keep an eye on Noah for me please, I'll be back as soon as I can." Her phone buzzed, leading her to sigh as she stood up. She slipped on her NYPD coat and grabbed her bag, throwing her phone and keys inside. Elliot got out of bed and walked her to the door, before pulling her into a warm embrace.

"Be safe."

"I will," She pecked his lips, squeezing his bicep; "I love you."

"I love you too." He replied.

She gave a wave before rushing out of the apartment. She took the stairs instead of the elevator as she knew they had to get going and she didn't fancy waiting for the elevator. Once outside, she tossed her bag into the back seat of the squad car before slipping into the passenger seat.

"Does this lead look promising?" She asked as she put her seatbelt on. Fin started onto the road, beeping the horn at the protective detail that was posted on the block.

"Might give us a clue as to where he's gone," Fin replied, "I already called the unis that are at the precinct, they're putting an APB out for the car."

He then glanced over at the lieutenant, who had taken a deep breath as she looked out the window.

"We'll get him Liv, and I promise I'll kill his ass when we do get him." He told her. She nudged him and let out a short laugh as the lights of the city continued to pass them by.

A short while later, by roughly quarter to three in the morning, they had pulled up at the motel. Police officers were already searching the premises for any sign of Harris, and Amanda and Sonny were currently talking to the manager. Fin quickly parked the car, before he and Olivia got out and rushed towards the entrance. They flashed their badges and announced themselves, capturing the attention of Amanda and Sonny.

"Lieutenant, you're supposed to be laying low." Sonny instantly remarked.

"I tried to tell her." Fin chimed in with a roll of his eyes.

"I'm here, I'm not laying low, that bastard isn't taking my life from me," Olivia glared at the two men, "What are we looking at?"

"The night-time manager is here. The news report ran again and showed Harris's face. She recognized him as a guest who checked in earlier in the night. She called in the tip line and they sent police here, only to find that he's already gone. Some officers are checking the room now to see if anything has been left behind or if anything can give us a clue as to where he's gone." Amanda explained. Olivia nodded her head, before stepping to the desk where the manager was looking around with an uneasy look on her face.

"Excuse me," Olivia's voice captured the woman's attention, "I'm Lieutenant Benson. I know you talked to my detectives already, but do you remember anything about the man you saw? Did he seem calm or was he nervous? Did he seem to be just stopping by or?"

"He seemed to be just stopping for the night," the woman shrugged, "I don't know; I just got so scared when I saw the news report, I knew I had to call someone especially when it said that he was armed and dangerous."

"You did the right thing; we'll find him – thank you for calling it in." Olivia assured her. She then gave her a business card and told her to call if she remembered anything or had anymore information, before stepping back out into the night air and joining her detectives.

"He wouldn't have gone back to the city, would he?" Amanda asked.

"It's possible but I don't think he would have, not after we've gotten his face out there." Fin replied.

"Detectives, we got nothing!"

The squad all looked up, seeing an officer shrugging his shoulders at them as he announced that they didn't have any evidence that would point them in the direction of where Harris had gone. They all thanked them, before making their way over to the squad cars to figure out what their next move should be.

"He had one of two options," Sonny looked up at his colleagues, "He either went back into the city or he went upstate."

"Is there not a chance he could've went south instead?" Amanda wondered.

"Nah; if he's on the run, he's headed towards where every fugitive would go – Canada." Fin replied, fishing the keys to the car from his pocket.

"Okay, so let's head back into the city and to the precinct, we need to find him, and we need to find him now," Olivia spoke as she walked around to the passenger seat, "I want this bastard gone."

Amanda nodded in agreement, sighing as she and Carisi got into the other squad car. With a beep of the horn, the squad headed back into the city, determined to find their target as soon as possible…

* * *

It was nearing four in the morning when he pulled over along a dark patch of road. He was growing increasingly tired and his eyes were stinging due to being so tired. He figured that maybe a few hours of sleep would do him good, and then he would decide what to do and where to go next until things died down a little bit.

Lowell Harris hated feeling like he had lost control of a situation, but this is exactly what if felt like. Upon leaving that motel a few hours earlier, he was without a plan of where to go next. His plan was to lay low until the cops stopped looking so hard for him, so he could just randomly make his attack on Olivia Benson, so he could catch her and the entire NYPD off guard. But things were growing increasingly out of control. Deep down inside, a small part of him knew that Olivia and her team were quicker and smarter than he was. They were catching up to him quickly, and that frightened him.

He gripped the steering wheel of his jeep and rest his head on the cool leather, taking a few deep breaths as he tried to stop the flash of anger that had begun to filter through his veins. Olivia Benson was at fault for this. His life would've never been in turmoil in the first place had she never come undercover those years earlier. If he had met her, he would still be working and his reputation as a respected Captain would not have withered away to nothing. Now, because of her, he had nothing. He was a recently released convict with a vendetta against the bitch that had caused this downward spiral.

He had known what he was doing when he raped Elliot Stabler's daughters and his ex-wife. He knew that they would call Manhattan's SVU for the daughters, and he knew that Olivia would get involved. This was completely premeditated; he had thought about this for especially the last few months of his prison sentence – a plan to get Olivia Benson's attention and to hopefully lure her into his line of fire. He would hit Olivia Benson where it hurt the most – mess with the family of her former partner, a family that she would've always done anything for.

Maybe he hadn't expected the plan to take a hard left. He didn't expect her to retaliate and fight back with her squad, he didn't expect for her to organize the protection. He expected her to take the bait and come to him. Now, he realized how stupid he was.

' _Dammit, how am I gonna get her?'_

His phone buzzed, capturing his attention. An unsaved number was calling, but he recognized it straight away and answered;

"Yeah?"

He listened for a few moments as the man on the other end of the phone, his frown slowly curling into a sinister smirk, an evil look gleaming in his eyes as he listened to the information he was being given. This was great, and this was definitely just what he needed to get Olivia Benson's attention, and to lure her into his line of fire.

He hung up after a few moments before setting his alarm to go off in an hour. With a satisfied smile on his face, he relaxed in his seat. In about an hour, he would wake up again, shake off the sleep, and get back on the road again.

He had a plan, and there was nothing the NYPD could do about this.

* * *

The hours passed quickly. The squad had arrived back to their precinct at around four in the morning, and they had been working hard on finding information and investigating other leads that when seven o'clock rolled around, they were all shocked. They were all running on very little sleep and wanted nothing more than to be curled up somewhere and resting due to it being so early on a Saturday, but this was a desperate time. Olivia knew that now that Harris was gaining media attention, it was bound to spook him. He was bound to get sloppy and mess up somewhere, and thus she and her team were watching his credit cards and cell phone like a hawk, determined not to let him get too far away.

"Liv," Olivia looked up as she walked back into the room from the vending machine; Amanda was waving her over, "You gotta see this; I think we've got something."

"What we got?" Olivia pushed her glasses over her eyes before leaning closer to look at the screen.

"Harris got a call around four this morning, or a little after," Amanda clicked around on the screen, "His phone bounced off the towers near Scranton, Pennsylvania."

"Why would he be in that area?" Sonny wondered.

"No idea," Amanda replied, "And what makes it worse is that the number that called him, it was from one of those disposable cell phones."

"And there goes trying to figure out where the number called him from." Olivia ran her hands over her face.

"Is there a chance the call was harmless?" Sonny asked.

"There's always that chance but Harris is a rapist on the run, so I'm not sure that it was an innocent call." Olivia told him. She was distracted by the sound of her office phone ringing, leading her to quickly excuse herself before making her way into the room to answer it;

"Lieutenant Benson."

 _"Ms. Benson,"_ a male voice spoke, _"Hello, it's Steven – Maureen's husband."_

"Hi Steven," Olivia had a perplexed expression on her face; she was curious as to why the man was calling her, "Is everything okay?"

 _"I don't think it is,"_ Steven took a deep breath;

 _"I saw the news report this morning, the man you're looking for, that son of a bitch that hurt my Maureen and my sister in law – Lowell Harris; my brother's partner, Nolan Carter; he knows Harris and used to visit him in prison up until a couple months ago – I think he's his uncle or something. I don't know if this is anything helpful, but I just talked to my brother and Nolan is about to take over the shift of being posted outside the Malone house. I know Maureen and the others are all there and I just have this feeling of dread. I know Nolan, and Maureen and the other Stablers have met him at our wedding and they seemed to think he was an alright guy, but now I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe I'm being paranoid; I don't know, I just have a bad feeling and I'm making the drive to Buffalo right now."_

"Okay, Steven; listen to me," Olivia spoke quickly, wedging the phone between her ear to drop her phone into her bag "You need to let the police handle this, you're only a civilian Steven and you could get hurt."

 _"I need to help, Maureen."_ Steven retorted.

"We will handle it, Steven, you need-"

The sound of the dial tone met her ears, leading her to quickly slam the phone down. She rushed into the squad room, immediately capturing the attention of her detectives.

"Liv what's wrong?" Fin immediately asked, noticing the worried expression on her face.

"I need all the information on Nolan Carter of the Buffalo PD, right now," she pointed to Rollins before looking back at Fin;

"Maureen's husband Steven was just on the phone; his brother is the detail from Buffalo that is sitting on Kathy's parents' house right now. His brother's partner is Nolan Carter, who is about to take over the shift of being posted outside the Stabler house. Nolan knows Harris, and apparently is his -"

"His nephew," Amanda interrupted, looking up in shock, "His nephew who was visiting him in prison up until he was released a couple months ago." She stood up and went over to the screen, clicking a few buttons until a department issued ID picture of Nolan Carter displayed on the screen;

"Nolan Carter, been on the force with Buffalo for the last four years. He's a decorated officer; no disciplinary actions have had to be taken against him," Amanda shrugged, "But this does feel weird, especially due to the face he's about to take over the shift from Steven's brother."

Olivia looked between her officers, before walking backwards towards her office;

"Get your vests and jackets on, we're taking a trip to Buffalo."

* * *

The black Jeep parked along the street, just a few houses down from the Malone home. He stepped out of the vehicle and walked up to the Buffalo PD squad car that was parked behind another black car, a smile on his lips as he knocked on the window. The officer inside rolled down the window, a matching smile with that sinister look in his eyes as he looked up at the man before him.

"Uncle L, great to see you again man," he shook the hand that reached into the window, "This was who you're looking for right?"

"Yeah, this is the house I'm looking for," Lowell Harris nodded his head, looking up at the two-story structure; "They all in there?"

"I got here as the grandparents were leaving, they had a lot of suitcases with them, so it seems like they're going away for a while," Nolan Carter took a sip of his drink before looking back at his uncle, "My partner's sister in law is in there with all her siblings; she's a hot piece of ass."

"Yes, she is," Harris licked his lips before chuckling a bit, "You get on your way; thank you for this."

"Maybe you'll finally get that bitch in the palm of your hands." Nolan remarked, starting the engine to the squad car.

"I will; trust me." Harris smirked. His nephew chuckled then drove off while he made his way up to the front door of the home. He took a deep breath, enjoying the fact that he seemed to be in control again, before finally ringing the doorbell.

After a few moments of waiting, a young woman opened the door. However, when she saw who was there, she froze, a look of pure terror coming across her face straight away as she gripped the door.

"Lizzie, who is it?!" a voice sounded from behind her. He watched as two girls came up behind her, both of them gasping straight away whilst Harris stood with a smirk on his lips, the gun pointed directly at the youngest sister as they stood there.

"Hi Stablers; good to see you again."

* * *

" _Elliot, this is not your fight – you are a civilian and you need to stay put; I was just calling to let you know what was going on."_

Elliot was pacing back and forth near the window of the apartment, running his hand down his face. He had already felt a little strange himself, as if something bad was going to happen. However, nothing could have prepared him for the phone call that he had now received from Olivia, informing him of where she was going and why.

"Liv, you can't expect me to stay here and not do anything," he tried to keep his voice low due to Noah being in the lounge area playing with some toys, "These are my kids, I'm coming up there and that's final."

" _Elliot, I get it, they're your kids; that's why me and my squad are going up there right now; you know I won't let anything happen to them."_ Olivia retorted.

"Olivia-"

" _We're going up for a precaution, Elliot; I will get the kids and keep them safe. If Harris is actually there, he won't hurt the kids as long as I'm there because it's really me that he wants."_ She spoke. He sighed slightly, rolling his eyes and simply refusing to take no for an answer.

"I'm coming up there and that's final." He told her. Before she could even answer, he hung up the phone before taking a couple deep breaths. He then went over to Noah, whom was sitting in the floor.

"Hey little man," the little boy looked up at the sound of Elliot's voice, "Do you know what Lucy's phone number is?" He was referring to the babysitter, whom he had heard Olivia mention the night before when she had been talking to Noah about something.

"Mommy has it written down," Noah explained as he stood up, "It's in here." He grabbed a book from the shelf and flicked through, before pointing to a number that was written down. _Lucy – Babysitter._

"Thanks Noah." He ruffled the little boy's curly hair before taking the book into his lap. He then dialed the number, hoping and praying the babysitter would pick up the phone.

* * *

"Hanging up on you already? Stabler is already starting on a bad note."

Olivia rolled her eyes, smirking slightly from the passenger seat of the squad car. The lights were flashing, and the siren was blaring, giving them the cop perks to drive as quickly as possible so they could hopefully get the Buffalo in under six hours.

"I get it he's worried about his kids, but there's not much he can do as a civilian," Olivia shook her head in despair, "I told him we would take care of it."

"Six of his favorite people are in danger; you expect him to sit still?" Fin questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"He's only got five kids, Fin." She gave him a confused look.

"Five kids and one you," he reminded her, "I know he can't do anything as a civilian, but you can't possibly expect him to sit still when all the people he loves are pretty much in danger."

"Fin-"

"Liv, he's gonna come up anyway we can't talk him out of that; just leave it alone." Fin told her. Olivia rolled her eyes, before jumping slightly as her phone began buzzing. She looked at the screen, a confused frown on her face when she saw that Maureen was FaceTiming her.

"What's she doing calling me?" she muttered to herself, swiping her finger over the screen and holding her phone up.

However, when she saw the sight before her on the screen, her eyes went wide as a look of fear flashed across her face.

There he was, with a gun to Maureen's head and a sinister smirk on his lips.

"Hi Olivia, I've missed you baby."

 _Lowell Harris._

* * *

 ** _Dun dun! Go easy on me with this update guys; I'm still kinda iffy about it. Until next time... xoxo_**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello my beautiful friends.**

 **Wow, so this part was quite long and there's a twist towards the middle. I just hope you'll all enjoy it, please leave some reviews.**

 **WARNING: MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. READ AT OWN RISK**.

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 18**

The lives of the Stabler kids was now in Olivia's hands.

Following the FaceTime call from Harris via Maureen's phone, the SVU team had raced to Buffalo as fast as they could. Oliva knew that the Stablers were just bait for her, but their lives were in danger and she refused to let this psychotic man do anything to hurt them. She had radioed to Amanda and Sonny, telling them to keep up in traffic behind them and to keep their lights flashing and sirens blaring as they cruised along the roads to get to Buffalo as fast as they could. Fin called ahead to Buffalo Police, asking them to keep Nolan Carter in their precinct as a person of interest, and arranging for them to go to the Malone home to try and start negotiations with Harris.

And now, after four hours of driving like bats out of hell, the SVU squad cars had come to a screeching halt in front of the tall, two story home. Olivia jumped out of the vehicle and ran up to the officers, whom immediately stopped her from stepping any further and going inside.

"No, you don't understand; I'm Lieutenant Benson, it's me that he wants." She told them, flashing her badge.

"Lieutenant, with all do respect, we can talk him down." The Lieutenant of this squad of the Buffalo police spoke to her. She glared at him, trying her hardest not to let the anger get the best of her.

"Really? And how's the negotiations doing? Has he let any of them go yet?" she fired questions off. When the Lieutenant couldn't answer, she rolled her eyes and held her hand up.

"Exactly, now let me talk to him."

The Lieutenant hesitated, before then leading her over to the mobile command center. She went inside and quickly asked for a phone, which was handed to her by the officer that was assigned to negotiate with Harris. She took a deep breath before calling inside, her heart pounding in her chest as she listened to the ringing of the phone.

" _What do you jackasses want now? Is Benson here?"_

Olivia felt the bile rise in her throat at the sound of his voice. She swallowed hard, before finding the courage to speak;

"Harris, it's me," she breathed out, "I'm here now, just talk to me."

" _Hi baby,"_ there was that voice that made her skin crawl; _"Glad you're here; come on inside and talk to me."_

"Let the kids go first." She told him.

" _Can't do that, Olivia; they want you to come in and join the party."_

"Harris," she took a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut before continuing, "This is between you and me; you got me here, now let them go."

" _How about you come inside first?"_

Olivia squeezed her eyes shut, quickly weighing the options in her head. The chances of the kids getting out of the house alive were slim to none if she didn't comply with the demands. She was the target of all this, and if she didn't go inside and something happened to the kids, she would never forgive herself. She knew this man, she knew he got off on having power. If this was going to end at least semi-peacefully, she had to give him the control - for now.

"Okay."

She then hung up the phone before stepping out of the mobile command center. Fin was looking at her with a raised eyebrow, almost as if he knew what she was about to say but was just waiting for her to confirm his worst nightmare.

"I'm going in there."

"No, the hell you are not," he immediately replied, "Liv, this man is a psycho."

"A psycho that will hurt those children if I don't go in there," she retorted, "I'm going in there, and you can't stop me."

"Liv just try the negotiations again."

"Lieu, you don't need to go in there."

Olivia looked at the concerned faces of her detectives, before simply shaking her head. She unholstered her gun and handed it to Fin, who looked at her as if she had gone completely crazy. He took the weapon into his hands anyway, though. He knew he had to trust her. He had known Olivia long enough to know that she would only ever put herself in the line of fire to save someone else, and when she had that idea in her head, there was nothing anyone could do to stop her.

"Liv!"

She whirled around, seeing Elliot rushing towards her only to be stopped behind the police. She rushed over to him. She told the officers to let him go, before holding onto his arm.

"I need to go save your kids."

"I'm going with you." He went to walk but she stopped him, putting her hands on his chest.

"You're a civilian, Elliot; you can't do anything," she reminded him before looking into his blue eyes; "Do you trust me?"

Elliot swallowed, before nodding his head as he uttered; "With everything in me."

"Good; now I'm going to save your kids." She told him. She squeezed his arm, before taking another deep breath and making her way up the walkway to the front door. The police still had the house surrounded and already had their weapons out of their holsters, ready to begin firing if need be. The ESU team was around as well, trying their hardest to see if they could get a shot.

The front door opened just a crack as she stepped onto the small step. Before she could register what was happening, she was yanked inside by a strong force and the door was slammed shut behind her. She was then pushed up against the door, the barrel of a gun was pressed under her chin, and her worst nightmare was standing over her.

Lowell Harris now had her hostage and was staring at her with a sinister smirk on his lips.

"I'm unarmed, I swear," she immediately spoke up, trying to keep her voice steady, "Harris, let me see the kids first, then we can talk."

"The kids are fine, baby; but me and you need to talk." He growled at her, an evil look in his eyes as he gazed into her brown orbs.

"We do need to talk, and I promise we can," she nodded her head, "Please, let me make sure the kids are okay."

Harris hesitated for a second, before standing up straight and grabbing her arm. He kept the gun pressed into her side as he dragged her into the kitchen. Her eyes went wide when she saw all the girls and Eli tied up to kitchen chairs with tape over their mouths, but Dickie was in the floor, groaning quietly in pain as blood seeped out of a wound on his forehead

"Harris, please, let me help him," she glanced back at the man, staring into his eyes, "Please? He needs help."

Harris pushed her over to where Dickie was laying. She knelt down beside him; the young man gave her a weak smile as he held his bloody hand to his forehead.

"You guys are all gonna be okay, I promise," she looked around at them all as she held a paper towel to the wound on Dickie's head, "Harris, I'm here now; just let them all go."

"You know, all these girls have grown into such beautiful woman," Harris smirked, making his way over to Lizzie, "Especially this youngest one." He ran the barrel of the gun over Lizzie's shoulders, causing fresh tears to spill down the terrified face of the young woman.

"Leave my sister alone." Dickie grumbled, moving to stand up. However, he was too dizzy to do so and simply slumped against Olivia, whom was still trying to stop the bleeding from the gash on his forehead.

"Harris let's talk," Olivia helped Dickie to relax against the wall before standing up, "We can talk, but you need to let them go."

"Why should I let them go? They should stay here, watch us finish what we started." He pressed the gun now to Kathleen's head, causing the young woman to look over at Olivia with wide eyes.

"They don't need to see that," she told him, "Listen, he needs help and they need to go. Put your gun on me for now; we can talk about this – just please."

"I don't want to talk, Olivia."

"No, we can talk," she swallowed hard, "You can have me, but just let them go."

Harris seemed to contemplate this for a second, before breathing out.

"Okay."

He grabbed Olivia's arm, keeping his gun pressed to her head whilst she nodded and began freeing the Stablers. Whilst the girls moved to help Dickie stand, Eli ran straight into Olivia's arms.

"Aunt Liv, I want to stay with you; I have to keep you safe." He told her, his face buried into her chest as his little body shook. Olivia swallowed hard, kissing the top of his head.

"No baby, you need to go outside with your sisters; I'll be okay," she closed her eyes, before whispering to him, "Go outside and tell Uncle Fin to call Lucy for me; I want him to tell Noah I love him."

Eli looked up at her with tears in his little blue eyes. Olivia kissed his forehead, before ushering him and the others out of the house. Harris still had a hold of her arm and had a gun pressed to her head, and he opened the door just enough so the Stablers could get out.

"He's letting the kids go!" Olivia announced, watching as the children headed out. She quickly locked eyes with Fin, before the door was shut again and she was pressed against it.

"Now that they're gone…" he smirked, running his hands towards her belt. She swallowed hard, pushing aside the fear that was starting to rise within her. She had to buy some time somehow. It was time to use one of her many investigation tactics. She had to stop herself from being raped and more importantly, stop herself from being killed.

Still, she had no idea how this was going to play out. She swallowed hard and blinked back the tears in her eyes. She sure hoped Eli relayed her message to Fin.

"Just wait second," she pressed her hands against his arms, "Do you really need the gun? I know you like a struggle, but I won't struggle as long as the gun is on me."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Why would I lie to you with a gun pressed under my chin?"

Harris seemed to consider that for a second. His gaze flickered to her face for a second, before he then flicked the safety back onto the gun and put it into his pants. Olivia nodded her head, giving him a small smile.

"That's much better," she felt him grab her arm, "Why do you do it anyway?"

"Shut up." He told her, sliding his hands down to her pants.

"You said we needed to talk so let's talk, then we can get down to business and I'll do whatever you want." she whispered to him.

Harris grumbled a bit before lifting his hands from her belt. He dragged her back into he kitchen. He took her handcuffs from her back pocket – and ran his hand over her ass in the process – before linking the cuffing her hands together and using the extra cuffs to keep her restrained to the chair. He then used some rope to bind her feet together as well.

"Talk then." He pulled the gun from his back pocket, pointing it at her as she looked up at him.

"Do you really get off on overpowering women like this? Degrading them?"

"You all deserve it; you women are nothing but sluts and whores."

"You really hate us, don't you? One of us turned you down or something didn't we?"

She jumped when she felt the click of the gun, but she stood her ground as she stared him dead in the eyes.

* * *

Meanwhile outside, everyone was standing with their guns drawn, waiting. Elliot had gone to a local hospital with his kids, after promising Fin that he'd call him if anything happened. Fin had agreed to do so but was also dealing with the inner turmoil as well. He was worried about how this would end, especially after Eli relayed Olivia's message to him once he came outside. He had called Lucy for Olivia, however, and had talked to Noah, but he was praying this would end peacefully as they would be _nothing_ if something happened to their beloved Lieutenant and long-time friend.

"Your Lieutenant is in there talking to him, we can see that on the camera," the ESU commander spoke up, capturing Fin's attention, "If we have a shot, we're taking it."

"She's talking to him, trying to connect; give her a minute before you start firing off shots." Fin remarked, frowning at the man.

"I won't put an NYPD Lieutenant in danger just because she wants to play social worker," the commander frowned, "If we have a shot, we're taking it." He then walked away, leaving Fin to shake his head in despair as he looked back at the house.

"Come on Liv; you got this baby girl."

* * *

"If you don't shut up, I'll kill you right now."

"Like you killed Risa Tyler?"

"I never killed her, you lying bitch." Harris suddenly slapped her as hard as her could, causing a yelp of pain to escape her lips. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, swallowing hard as she looked at him.

"I read the medical report; there's no way she could've killed herself," Olivia told him before continuing, "What's with you, Harris? What happened to you? Why do you hate women?"

"I don't hate women." He snarled, pressing the barrel of the gun to her forehead. She swallowed hard, trying her hardest not to break down.

"Wait, just wait, talk to me," she breathed out, glancing up into his green eyes, "Did something happen to you at the hands of a woman?"

"It doesn't fucking matter," he turned away from her, walking around the table a few times and rubbing his hand over his face, "Why do you fucking care anyway? You ruined my life, you filthy whore."

"No, I didn't, you ruined your own life when you decided to rape Ashley Tyler, which suddenly made it my fucking business."

"Shit wouldn't have hit the fan if you hadn't come in undercover."

"Don't continue to blame me for your shit, Harris," she found her strength in her voice, "I came in to get justice and I did. You had choices when you were younger, you could've not been a corrupt cop, but something happened and changed your view on women. Something happened to make you feel like you should degrade and rape them and be a monster for God knows whatever reason."

"It was my mother!"

Bulls eye; she was waiting for this.

Olivia would've never thought she would sit down and talk to Lowell Harris like this. All the torment and pain he put her through, the PTSD that was due to him assaulting her – she always thought that if she ever faced him again, she would put a bullet through his brain straight away. Maybe in other circumstances she would have, such as if she wasn't hand cuffed and had her gun. However, with being restrained at the moment, she'd had no choice but to talk to him.

Maybe she had reached him.

"What happened with your mo-"

"Not important," Harris suddenly stepped forward, kneeling to the floor and sliding his hand down to undo her belt, "Now, give me what I want, and I'll be on my way."

"Did she hurt you?" Olivia kept talking, trying to take her mind off what was going on. She felt his hands freeze on her belt, and she looked into his green eyes. She saw something flicker within them, something that indicated she was reaching into something that he had kept bottled up for a long time.

"Doesn't matter."

"It does matter, Harris," She kept her eyes locked on his, "Is she the reason you hate women?"

"God," He suddenly groaned, standing up and pacing the floor whilst the gun was in his hand, "Those bitches in that damn prison were just like her, always trying to take something for their own benefit. She took so much from me and I swore I would never let another bitch do what she did to me."

"What did she do, Harris? What did she take from you?"

He looked over at her. She kept her brown eyes locked with his greens, unwilling to back down from this. She was buying time of course, but she was also slowly starting to reach him. Something had happened to him to make him this way, and as much as she hated him, she figured that maybe with just talking about it, they could both walk out of here alive.

* * *

"Your Lieutenant is still in there playing social worker; he's just stopped and stared at her for a minute now and I can see she's talking."

"That's what Liv, does; she connects with people when she sees something in their eyes," Amanda kept her eyes on the house as she spoke to the commander of the ESU team. "Just let her do her job."

"I hope she knows what the hell shes doing." He grumbled.

"She does know what she's doing; just let her do it." Sonny remarked, taking a deep breath as they remained standing there, waiting for any sign.

It had been an hour now, and the SVU detectives were hoping and praying their lieutenant would emerge soon, hopefully unharmed.

* * *

"Harris, tell me what she did."

"Like you care, you tossed me in jail."

"You got yourself in there for the things you did," Olivia reminded him, "I do care though, because I can see in your eyes that something happened. Just talk to me."

Harris hesitated for a second, before groaning out loud.

"It started when I was like nine," he leaned against the wall, looking at the ground before looking back at her;

"Right after my old man died. I was always her little boy, but what mother wants their kid to sit on their lap at nine? Anyway, she came into my room one night, laid down with me, and…"

He trailed off, pushing himself off the wall and stepping closed to her.

"Nevermind, this-"

"Tell me what she did, Harris."

"The bitch is dead now!"

"And you're dead inside too, that's why you're doing this shit," she stared into the green orbs that were glistening with moisture; "But you don't have to be like this. Tell me what happened, set yourself free."

"It doesn't matter anymore!" He snapped, glaring at her.

"Yes, it does," she spoke in an eerily calm voice, "Talk to me."

"Dammit," Harris rubbed his hand over his face;

"She touched me, and made me do the same to her, and made my stepdad do it too!"

Olivia swallowed before speaking; "They molested you?"

"She held me down while the old man shoved his junk down my throat, and he told me if I bit him, he'd kill me," tears had welled in the man's eyes now as he paced the floor, holding the gun in his shaky hands, "My mother did nothing, she laughed; told me I was a mistake and deserved to have shit done to me. She even let the old bastard rape me, sodomize me; everything."

"Is that why you hate women?" Olivia whispered, looking up at him.

"Everytime I look at a woman, I see her, and I see what she's done to me," he shook his head in despair, "Those bitches in the prison, when they would come onto me and grab my junk, I remembered I wasn't a kid and I had control of this, so I took control of them. I made them feel like my mother and stepdad made me feel."

"Like you were nothing? Like you didn't matter?"

"I don't matter."

"Yes, you do," Olivia replied, "Did you ever tell anyone what happened?"

"Nobody would've believed me." He grumbled, shrugging his shoulders.

"I believe you," she looked into those piercing green eyes again, "What happened to you matters. They had no right to do that to you."

"The drugs that Risa was helping me smuggle into the prison; they were partly for me and partly for the inmates; I bribed them with drugs like my parents bribed me with new toys and all that," He shrugged, "When she stopped supplying me, I snapped – I did kill her, and I almost killed her kid." He moved the gun upward, pressing it to his temple.

"I'm a damn monster, Olivia; a fucking monster."

"Lowell," she caught his attention when she suddenly used his first name, "You had some horrific things happen to you. You needed help, and someone should have helped you. But look, this isn't the way out."

"I can't go back to prison; I refuse to," He closed his eyes, pushing himself off the wall, "I want you to get out of here, and let me die." He untied her legs and and freed her hands as well before roughly pulling her to her feet.

"Get out of here."

"No," she suddenly whirled around, holding her hands up, "I'm not leaving. You're walking out that door with me."

"You don't get it; I'm nothing."

"You're a human being that's been through constant trauma and made some horrible decisions, but that doesn't mean you deserve to die."

She then held her hands out to him, swallowing nervously; "Give me the gun."

They had moved in front of a window, and Olivia had no idea of the chaos that was about to unleash.

Harris swallowed, raising the gun to point directly at her.

"If I'm gonna die, you're dying with me."

Two shots simultaneously rang out, the window behind Olivia shattered. Harris fell to the ground, bleeding from a shot to the head. Olivia fell against the wall behind her, groaning as pain began radiating through her body. She glanced down, realizing she had been hit by a bullet in her abdomen, but the vest had stopped it from doing serious damage. Still, she was in pain; it felt like she had been hit in the abdomen with a baseball bat or something.

"Liv!"

"Kitchen!" she shouted before wincing as she held her stomach. Police came rushing into the kitchen; some kicked Harris's gun away and checked him for signs of life while Fin and Sonny rushed to tend to their Lieutenant.

"Lieutenant are you alright?" Sonny asked.

"I was hit through my vest, above my navel," she winced as she put her hand over the area again, "I think I'm alright though."

"Let's get you checked, Liv; you're gonna be alright." Fin told her. Olivia nodded, before groaning as her detectives helped her to stand up. They made their way out of the house, and the paramedics helped Olivia onto the stretcher. As they lifted her into the ambulance, she let out a breath, closing her eyes as the events of the day began hitting her at full force.

It was over. Lowell Harris was dead.

It was _over._

* * *

 **That was a pretty long update ey? I hope you all enjoyed it! Please leave your reviews! Until next time... xoxo**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hello hello everyone!**

 **So, the Harris situation is over, and now we're reaching happier times. Now, we're onto part 19 - the second to last part. Please, leave your comments at the end - and be easy.**

 **WARNING: MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. MAY CONTAINT TRIGGERING CONTENT.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 19**

"Mommy!"

Olivia smiled straight away that night as she made her way into the apartment with the help of Fin, whom had his hand on her back whilst her bag was in his hand. It had been a long day to say the least. The bullet had only left some bruises on her torso due to the protective nature of her bulletproof vest, so after getting some bandages wrapped around her torso, Olivia had been released from the hospital in Buffalo. Elliot had seen her whilst she was there and told her he would be back down towards the night, after Dickie was released from the hospital. She had been pleased to hear that apart from being slightly traumatized, the girls and Eli hadn't been physically harmed and that Dickie's injury wasn't serious either, and that with a few stitches, he too could return home. While she knew she'd probably have to see her psychiatrist before she returned to work properly, she was glad that Harris was out of their lives forever.

However, part of her did sort of feel sorry for the man. He had, had a very troubled life and had unfortunately made the choice to do such horrible things after the abuse he had suffered at the hands of his mother and stepfather. A large part of her was glad he was dead, but another part of her almost wished he would have gotten some help, then maybe things would have turned out different. She had thought about this during the entire ride back from Buffalo whilst she had been curled up in the passenger seat with her arm over her stomach. Fin had known by the look on her face that she was deep in thought, but he had known not to push her. He just allowed her to think, whilst the music played quietly on the radio.

"Hey sweet boy." She greeted her son. She winced when he crashed into her for a cuddle, but she squeezed him tight and kissed his forehead.

"Mommy, are you okay? Uncle Fin called and said that you were making a bad man go away and that you loved me." Noah questioned, looking up at her with the most innocent look on his face.

"I'm fine, sweetie, I promise; and the bad man is gone." Olivia ruffled his curls as they made their way further into the apartment.

"Where's Elliot? Is he okay?" Noah asked.

"He's fine, honey; he'll be back soon," she smiled before looking up as Lucy approached them, "Hey Lucy; thank you honey – for everything."

"No problem, Liv; everything okay now?" the young girl asked, giving her a comforting smile whilst Noah was chatting away with Fin.

"Everything's fine; thank God." Olivia replied, sighing as she shook her hair out of its ponytail.

"Good," Lucy nodded before putting her hand on her arm, "Oh, and I met Elliot as you know; keep him – he's a good catch."

"Lucy." Olivia groaned, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink whilst Lucy laughed, shrugging her shoulders.

"I'm just saying he cares about you a lot, so keep him," she squeezed the older woman's arm before continuing, "Anyway, me and Noah made spaghetti and left enough for you and for Elliot too if he comes over, and we baked brownies which are on the counter."

"Thank you, honey – I owe you one." Olivia sincerely thanked her. She took her bag and grabbed her wallet, rummaging through quickly before sliding some money into the babysitter's hand. Lucy thanked her and grabbed her bag, before giving her and Noah a quick hug then bidding them all farewell. Once she left, Olivia sat down on the sofa whilst Fin perched himself on the arm as Noah sat in the floor with his coloring book and crayons on the table.

"You okay?" He asked. She opened her mouth to speak but was forced to chuckle when Fin spoke up again; "And don't say I'm fine."

"Okay," She smirked before continuing, "I'm so so." She then slowly pushed herself up and made her way over to the kitchen area with Fin behind her.

"Elliot said earlier that Mo's husband had arrived, and Kathy's parents had been notified," she sighed, running her hand over her face, "Where the hell are they gonna go now? Their house is a crime scene, and even when it's cleared, a man was killed in their house; I wouldn't go back there."

"I'm sure they'll figure it out, Liv; they'll pick up the pieces just like you and the Stablers," Fin rubbed her shoulder; "You did good in there by the way, baby girl; you kept him from doing any major harm to the kids, and to you apart from the bruises."

"You know, I'm really not trying to give him the sympathy card or make excuses for his actions because he had a choice and perhaps he did deserve to die in some aspect, but he had some horrible things happen to him. His head was all fucked up and instead of choosing to right the wrongs by doing good, he chose the bad path," she shrugged, fiddling with the tiny ring that sat on her finger;

"I chose the good path, Fin; why can't everyone do that?"

"Liv, I ask myself that question all the time and I don't have an answer. You had it rough growing up, but you chose to do good. Some people feel like doing good won't get you anywhere, so they fight the fire with the fire. It sucks, but it's our world." Fin replied, leaning against the counter.

"He's evil, but a small part of me feels sorry for him, but majority of me doesn't – conflicted." Olivia shook her head in despair before looking up.

"That just shows how pure your heart is," Fin pushes himself up from against the counter; "You need any help? Be honest; I can tell when you lie."

Olivia let out a single chuckle; God, how she loved Fin. "No, I'm good; I'm just gonna take a shower and rest."

"Doc said keep applying that cream and to rest." He reminded her.

"I'll keep applying the cream and I'll rest," she put her hands on his shoulders, "Get out, I'm fine."

"What time is Elliot coming back?"

"I don't know."

"Well sit still until he comes back," he walked towards the lounge area as she opened her mouth to speak; "Noah, make sure your Mom actually rests."

"Okay," Noah smiled before looking at Olivia; "Mommy, go rest."

"I'm gonna take a shower first then rest, sweet boy; I promise, so Uncle Fin needs to relax," she playfully shot a glare at Fin before pulling him into a hug; "Thank you for always trusting me."

"You know I trust you, baby girl; always have," he then pulled away from her, "Hit me up if you need me."

"I will do." Olivia gave him a smile, nodding her head. Once he made his way out the door, she shut and locked it before making her way back to the lounge area. Noah was sitting on the floor still, humming to himself as he did some coloring. She swallowed as the moisture filled her eyes. She needed a minute to herself, and a shower would do just that.

She put some cartoons on the TV and told Noah not to move until she came back from her shower, before retreating to her bedroom. She sent a quick text to Elliot, letting him know that she was at home and about to take a shower, before attaching her phone to the charger. She threw her NYPD coat onto the bed and slipped her t-shirt over her head, sighing as she saw the bandages covering her abdomen. This was the first time she had ever been shot in the line of duty; the first time in her almost three decades of being on the force. She was grateful for her vest and grateful there was nothing other than some deep red bruises that would heal in a few days.

Truthfully, she hoped she would never get shot again. _I can barely deal with the pain of these bruises, how the hell has my squad dealt with actual gunshot wounds?_

She put her gun and badge onto the dresser along with the medallion, then made her way into the en suite. She switched the shower on to give it time to heat up, then continued undressing; removing the bandages as well and putting the extras on the side on the counter beside her sink so she could reapply them once she was finished. She spotted the steam coming from the shower, so she stepped in under the spray of warm water. The warmth did wonders for the aches that had presented themselves over her body; she rolled her shoulders to loosen her muscles.

As the water rained over her, she leaned against the wall and ran her hands over her face. The events of the day were starting to hit her in full force.

She had raced to Buffalo with her squad, the lives of the individuals she had adored since they were small children were in her hands. She had stood inside a house with a crazed predator whom had a gun in his hands. She had saved the lives of the Stabler kids, had told Eli to relay the message to Fin for him to call her son as there was one point where she thought she would never see her curly haired pride of joy ever again. She had sat bound to a chair, while a maniac held a gun to her head whilst she shrunk his head, buying time and trying not to be raped, and trying to stay alive. She had once again watched someone be shot in the head in front of her, and she had been shot herself.

 _Fuck. It's been one hell of a day._

She closed her eyes, finally allowing the tears to slip down her cheeks. She wasn't crying over Harris being dead; truthfully, a large part of her was glad he was dead. However, now that he was dead, they were all free. Maureen and Kathleen were free.

 _She_ was finally free.

They could move on. There was no more worrying about him or a trial or what he would do next. No; they were free to move on because he was _gone._

She switched the shower off some minutes later, feeling fresh and clean. Her head felt a little clearer, as if the events and stress of the day had washed down the drain along with the blood and dirt from the day. She wrapped a towel around herself, then towel dried her hair and tied the damp brunette locks up into a bun. Little droplets of water slid down her shoulders as well as down her legs as she grabbed the bandages and retreated to her bedroom to slip into more comfortable clothing.

She dropped the fluffy towel and slipped into some underwear and a sports bra. She applied some cream to her bruises and took her time wrapping the bandages back around her torso, being careful to make sure they were snug before securing them. Once she finished doing so, she dressed in a pair of yoga bottoms and one of her many NYPD t-shirts, before grabbing her phone and finally making her way back into the lounge. Noah was now playing with his dinosaurs in the floor, making funny sounds as he was so lost in his own world.

Olivia blinked back tears as she watched him. God, how she was grateful to still see her little boy.

* * *

Noah went to bed around ten; only because Olivia had allowed him to stay up a little longer as she had missed him so much and just needed cuddles with him, though he didn't necessarily realize that. He was just glad to cuddle with his mother. After she ate her dinner, they relaxed on the sofa whilst the cartoons were on; Olivia kept her arm around Noah whilst he rested his head against her chest. Once he was tired, they went to his room and she helped him get settled in his bed. They did their normal routine of reading a story together, then Noah fell asleep whilst cuddling his elephant toy. Olivia put his night light on and closed the door halfway, before returning to the lounge area. She had just started kicking some of Noah's toys aside when there was a knock at the door. Her heart fluttered slightly, she knew who it was.

She checked the peephole out of habit, a smile spreading across her lips when she saw the tall, muscular frame and those familiar blue eyes. She pulled the door open straight away, looking up at him.

"Hey, I-" She was cut off when he pulled her into a hug, squeezing her tightly as he kicked the door shut with his foot.

"I can properly hug you now," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple; "God Olivia, oh my God."

"Elliot, I'm fine," she rubbed her hands up and down his back, trying to stop him from shaking against her, "Sweetheart, I'm fine."

"No...you just...thank God you had that vest on," he pulled back, holding her arms as he looked down at her, allowing Olivia to finally see the tears that had welled up in his blue eyes, "I just…if I had lost you after everything we-"

"Hey, don't do that," she slid her hands up his arms and over his shoulders until she was holding his face in her hands, "Elliot, look at me – I'm fine; it's just some bruises." She then reached over and locked the door as well as put the chain on, before draping her arms over his shoulders.

"I'm okay, Elliot; I promise." She whispered. She used one hand to lift her shirt, showing him the bandages around her torso. Elliot swallowed, running his hand over the material before keeling to the ground. He held onto her hips as he pressed a couple kisses to the area before he then stood up properly whilst keeping his hands on her waist. She gave a small smile as she reached up to wipe the tears away with her thumbs, keeping her eyes locked on his as she did so. She then stood on her toes to press her lips against his. He slid his arms around her waist, gently pulling her against his body as he slipped his tongue past her soft lips. She moaned quietly as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her heart taking flight as the love they had for one another washed over them, causing them to feel like they were the only two people in the world.

"I'm glad I still have you, Liv," he whispered once they pulled apart, their lips still brushing against one another as they spoke, "I love you; I love you so much Olivia Benson."

Olivia nodded her head, kissing him once more before whispering; "I love you even more, Elliot Stabler." She kissed him once again, scratching the back of his neck before pulling away;

"I'm tired; can we go to bed?"

"Of course we can, honey." He kissed her forehead again, before keeping his arm around her waist as they moved through the apartment. She turned the television off and turned the other lights off before the pair retreated into her bedroom and shut the door. She lay herself down and got under the blankets, while Elliot stripped down to his boxers. He then climbed into bed beside her, wrapping his arm around her as she rests her head on his chest. He ran his fingertips up and down her spine, pressing a light kiss to her forehead as he held her.

"I'm glad you're okay, baby; now get some rest."

"I'm glad to be okay," she breathed out before pressing a light kiss to his chest, "Night El." She rest her hand on his chest right beside her head, a soft smile on her lips. She had dreamed of the nights where she would fall asleep in the arms of Elliot Stabler, and now, she was glad that they were no longer dreams. Besides, the real thing was so much better.

She closed her eyes, just as she felt him whisper against her soft skin;

"Night Liv."

* * *

The sounds of laughter filtered through her ears and the smell of breakfast filtered through her nostrils the next morning, breaking the slumber she had been lost in for the last ten hours. Olivia's eyes then went wide when she saw the time, only for her to then realize it was Sunday and that she didn't have to go into work at all. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and sat up slowly, wincing slightly as her bruises still felt a little sore. She then climbed out of bed before making her way into the lounge, a soft smile on her lips when she saw Elliot and Noah standing side by side – well, Noah was standing on the stepping stool – preparing breakfast. Elliot was finishing with the scrambled eggs, while Noah was carefully decorating one of the pancakes, placing blueberries into the shape of an 'O'. The two hadn't even noticed her standing beside the refrigerator, as they were chatting about fun things to do; Elliot was promising to take Noah to Coney Island one day, and Noah was giving him a smile and chatting excitedly.

"You two better not be planning a trip without me." She smirked, capturing their attention. Noah immediately jumped down and ran into her arms; she winced when he leaned against her bruise but hugged him back and ruffled his hair.

"Mommy, Elliot was saying we could go to Coney Island one day, and he would ask his kids to go too," he was chatting away as he pulled her over to the counter, "And look Mommy, me and Elliot was making you breakfast. Your pancake has an 'O' on it, for 'Olivia'."

"You two are the sweetest," she kissed his forehead before kissing Elliot's cheek, "Good morning by the way; you okay?"

"I'm great; I woke up around six and you were sleeping like a baby, so I showered and went for a walk to the store down the street to pick up a few things, then by the time I came back, this guy was awake so we talked for a bit, watched some cartoons, then decided to make breakfast – which we were going to serve you in bed, right buddy?" Elliot explained before ruffling Noah's curls whilst the little boy nodded, smiling at them both.

"Well, I'm up so I'll happily sit at the counter and let you two finish; thank you both." she winked before sitting at the island counter, a cliché, love struck sigh escaping her lips as she watched them finish up breakfast together.

A short while later, the three of them were enjoying their tasty breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and crispy bacon whilst, with coffee to drink for Elliot and Olivia and orange juice for Noah. Noah's incessant chatter was welcoming; his innocence was something that melted their hearts, his imagination as he talked about what he was going to build with his LEGOs was something that reminded Elliot and Olivia of the beauty of having a small child. Olivia was truly grateful for Noah; he gave her that stability she had so desperately craved throughout her years at SVU. He helped her to push the darkness out of her mind with his innocence and laughter; both factors provided her with joy.

God, how she loved this precious little boy.

After breakfast – and after Elliot loaded up the dishwasher for them – the three of them chilled out in the lounge together. Elliot was sitting beside Olivia with his arm wrapped around her, while Noah was playing with his LEGO blocks, connecting the tiny pieces together to build robots whilst glancing between the figurines and the cartoons that were playing on TV.

"Hey, I was thinking – how about I call the kids, and me, you, Noah, and them all go for dinner this week?" Elliot suddenly spoke up, capturing Olivia's attention. She tilted her head, her gaze flicking from her son to the man she was hugged up with. A smile spread across her lips and she nodded her head.

"That would be a good idea," she suddenly paused, "Wait, but – won't it be too much all at one time? I mean, shouldn't we break it to them gently instead of at dinner with all-"

"They already know."

Olivia choked slightly, her eyes going wide as she sat up straight to look at him; "What?"

"They know, Liv," Elliot took her hand in his, "I mean, they've known for a long time that their mother lost me to you emotionally, but they never blamed you for what happened between us."

She opened her mouth to speak, but Elliot stopped her by holding up his hand;

"I talked to them all yesterday while we were sitting around waiting for Dickie to be discharged. I was waiting for the remarks; all I got was Lizzie groaning, Dickie saying she owed him fifty bucks, and Maureen saying that Katie owed her fifty bucks while Katie rolled her eyes. Eli is happy that he's gonna get to see you more. They all wanna meet Noah too."

"Wow," Olivia bit her lip as she took a moment to absorb this information, "I don't know whether to laugh or be disturbed that even your kids bet on us. Fin told me yesterday while I was getting patched up that Munch owes him fifty bucks because they bet on us too."

"Everyone knew it was bound to happen sooner or later," Elliot pulled her back into his embrace; "So, what do you say?"

"I say that me and Noah are excited to go to dinner with you and the kids." She gave him a smile, which he returned before softly kissing her lips.

"I love you, Benson."

"I love you too, Stabler."

* * *

 _ **Hello my friends! I hope you all enjoyed this update, and please leave your reviews because I like to know what y'all think! Until next time... xoxo**_


	20. Chapter 20

**HELLO FRIENDS!**

 **The Final part of Back To You is here! Wow...I'm kinda sad that this is the end of this fic because I've truly enjoyed writing it. I've enjoyed your reviews as well, you've been kind and most have been respectful, so I appreciate that. Thank you for joining me on this little fic, and now I present to you, the final part - part 20.**

 **Oh, it's a little saucy.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Back To You**

 **Part 20**

 _Few Days Later_

"Mommy are you ready?!"

Olivia smiled to herself as Noah's voice filtered through her ears due to him shouting in the direction of her closed bedroom door. She had just pulled skinny jeans over her hips to team with a black t-shirt she was wearing, and she was going to step into her Converse sneakers in a moment.

It had been a pretty long week for the most part. She had taken Monday and Tuesday off to spend time with Noah, though she had managed to squeeze in some time with her psychiatrist on Tuesday afternoon as well whilst Lucy had taken Noah out for some ice cream. She returned to work on Wednesday, and luckily, the work days had run smoothly as the detectives had a few open and shut quick cases to deal with.

And now today was Friday, and Olivia and Noah were meeting Elliot and the rest of the Stabler kids at a burger place that was a couple of blocks away from her apartment building.

She was grateful that she had managed to finish work early today; she had returned home around four and relieved Lucy of her babysitting duties. She and Noah watched some television until around five, then finally began getting ready as they had planned to meet the Stablers between six and six-thirty. Noah was already dressed in a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt which he wore under his favorite blue hoodie, as well as his little black and white Converse. He was currently sitting in the living room, waiting for her, whilst she finished getting ready.

"I'll be right out, sweetheart!" Olivia shouted back as she buttoned her jeans. She smoothed out her t-shirt, before slipping her feet into her crisp white Converse sneakers. She grabbed a black sweater and slipped it on, before grabbing her bag. She looked at herself in the mirror once more. She had straightened her hair a bit, allowing the brunette locks to flow over her shoulders and down to the top of her back. She wore a bit of eyeliner and eye shadow, as well as some nude colored lipstick as well. She looked perfectly beautiful yet casual, and though her stomach was doing somersaults, she was excited for this dinner.

She grabbed her phone and keys from the bed before emerging from the bedroom. Noah looked up with a bright smile on his face, before turning off the television and bouncing over to her. She grabbed hold of his hand before leading him out of the apartment, shooting a text to Elliot as they made their way to the elevator.

 _'5:45pm – Leaving the apartment now; we'll be there in a few!'_

* * *

"Aunt Liv!"

Eli was waving excitedly as Olivia entered the burger place whilst holding Noah's hand; his voice had captured her attention and led to her waving back before she and Noah began making their way over to the table. The group was seated at a big table towards the back of the restaurant; Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie, and Dickie were seated beside one another, Eli was sat in between Elliot and Maureen. Everyone was smiling as Olivia and Noah approached, it seemed that a happy aura had picked up around the group now that the case was over and they were all safe again. The other four children greeted her excitedly while Eli wandered over for a big hug; despite being ten years old, he still loved a good hug and especially one from the woman whom he'd always had a special connection with. Elliot greeted her with a peck on the cheek and greeted Noah with a high five, before gesturing for them both to sit down. Noah sat between the two adults which left Olivia to sit beside Lizzie. Noah felt a bit shy with these new people around apart from Elliot, and so hugged Olivia's arm whilst he looked around with a shy smile on his face.

"Who is this adorable guy?" Maureen gushed, giving him a smile.

"This is my son, Noah," Olivia did the introductions, pointing out everyone as she did so; "Noah, this is Maureen, and this is Kathleen, and this is Lizzie, and this is Dickie, and this guy here is Eli."

"Hi." Noah greeted quietly, waving at them.

"It's cool to meet you, Noah," Kathleen smiled at the little boy, "You have the coolest Mom ever, just so you know."

"She's the coolest." Noah returned the smile as he clung to Olivia's arm some more before looking up at her. Olivia smiled and kissed his forehead as a feeling of happiness and contentment washed over her.

As the evening ticked on, Noah's shyness disappeared, and he found his voice again, regularly chatting away with the others as they got to know him. He ended up finding quite the friend in Eli especially, leading to him ultimately switching places with Elliot so he could sit beside the little boy whilst Elliot sat next to Olivia. The group enjoyed their tasty burgers and fries, the older Stablers continued to engage in conversation with Olivia and catch her up on what they were doing in their lives now. Their stories filled Olivia's heart, especially since she had basically watched these children go from small humans to fully grown young adults and had seen the ups and downs that came with them growing up as well. She was truly proud of them all, and she was proud of both Elliot and Kathy for raising such wonderful, respectful children.

In addition to catching up on each other's lives, of course the older children wanted to know about the relationship between the two adults. Even though Olivia knew that Elliot had already talked to them, she still felt the need to reiterate that nothing ever happened in those twelve years during their partnership. The children all explained that there was no need for the explanation, that they understood years ago that they had always been just best friends. They expressed their happiness at the recent development between the two adults, something that put Olivia at ease and let to her leaning her head on Elliot's shoulder whilst he kissed her forehead.

After a while – after they were stuffed from the burgers and mountain of fries they had eaten - the older Stablers decided to take their youngest brother and Noah to the arcade area for a bit. As the others headed over to the games, Kathleen strayed behind a bit to speak to her father and Olivia.

"What's up, Katie?" Elliot asked.

"I know we've all said it, but we really are happy for you guys, honestly," she paused for a second before continuing, "We know that nothing ever happened between the two of you, but Dad, I also know that Mom lost you a long time ago – not physically, but emotionally."

Olivia was stunned into silence; she remembered when Kathy said these exact words to her that day when they were talking outside of Kathleen's room at the hospital. Elliot opened his mouth to speak, but Kathleen held up her hand;

"I still remember the first time Olivia came over for dinner; when Mom realized that _Benson_ was a woman, the look on her face was priceless," she let out a laugh, "Anyway, I was only like ten, but I knew something was different between you guys; like the way she finished your sentences, or the way you guys would have these inside jokes. You called her _'Liv'_ that night; any other time you called her _'Olivia'._ It was obvious that night, and it only grew deeper as the years went on."

"Kathleen, I loved your mother." Elliot told her.

"I know you did, Dad," Kathleen nodded her head, "And you guys did great, staying together to make sure we had some stability, and even though we know Eli wasn't planned, you stayed together again to make sure he had some stability too. But _your_ stability was always with Olivia, even when you were angry with her, she was still your stability. Olivia understood you the way nobody – not even Mom – could have ever done."

She then looked at Olivia, who was looking back at with glistening tears in her brown eyes.

"Liv same goes for you. My Dad has always understood you the way nobody else could, and he was your stability. You two have always been so connected, deeper than best friends should be. We know you never physically acted on those feelings, and we appreciate that – we appreciate you, Liv, for pushing your own feelings aside and going to bat for our family constantly even when Dad was being a hothead, and we appreciate you Dad for not only staying for our family, but for respecting Olivia enough to not act on anything."

She stood up, brushing her palms over her jeans;

"But dammit, we're all grown up now and Eli obviously knows what's going on. Do us a favor guys? Be happy – be together and be each other's stability. Besides, we wanna hang out with Noah more too, and I think Dickie likes the idea of having another little brother around."

"Katie-"

"I know you guys aren't getting married or anything like that, at least not anytime soon, but please just stay together and Dad, if you mess it up with her, I'll kick your ass myself."

Kathleen then turned on her heel and went to join her siblings and Noah at the arcade section. Olivia and Elliot simply looked at each other, before bursting into laughter together as he hugged her into his chest.

"Katie has always been the most outspoken one of all your kids," Olivia managed to calm down before she looked up at him, "I'm glad they're all okay with it and happy for us."

"I told you they were, and they had bets on us anyway," Elliot then leaned his head down, pecking her lips before nudging her nose with his, "It is time for us to be happy I suppose, and I don't know about you, but I'm pretty happy like this, with you."

She leaned in and kissed his lips, stroking his cheek with her thumb before whispering;

"I'm pretty happy like this, with you too."

* * *

The remainder of the evening was spent laughing and joking with the Stablers. As the time grew closer to nine, Noah was growing increasingly tired as was Eli, signaling it was time for the group to part ways for the evening. Elliot and Olivia hugged all the children goodbye, and even Noah bid them farewell after giving hugs to the girls and high fives to Dickie and Eli. After waving the kids off, Elliot sweetly drove Olivia and Noah home, and even sweetly carried Noah inside as he had fallen asleep in the backseat of the vehicle. Olivia took him into her arms once they got inside, before carrying him off to bed while Elliot seated himself on the sofa.

A few minutes later, Olivia returned and immediately sat herself down in Elliot's lap. He gave her his handsome smile before pressing his lips to hers, keeping his arms securely around her whilst her arms were draped over his neck. Even though she had already known that Elliot's kids were fine with their relationship, there was just something about actually hearing them say that they were fine. Kathleen's words had touched her as well, and despite feeling a bit strange that the children had slowly witnessed their father emotionally drifting away from their mother, it was nice to know that they never blamed her or felt any ill feelings towards her. Now, she just felt free to move on with Elliot, and that made her happy.

The two pulled apart after a few moments, resting their foreheads together. The two then maneuvered around so that they were laying together; Elliot was laying on his back with his head against the arm rest whilst she was laying between him and the back of the sofa. Her hand was resting beside her head on his chest, and her leg was over his.

"El, can I ask something?" she spoke after a few moments.

"What's up?" he wondered, raising an eyebrow. She paused for a moment, before continuing;

"Do you think we would've gotten back in each other's lives around this time even if all of this hadn't happened?"

"Hmm," he paused for a second as he pulled her closer, stroking his hand over her jean clad hips, "I think we would have somehow. We would've always come back together somehow; we were always meant to be."

"We were too stubborn to admit it years ago." She smirked, sitting up a bit to look at him.

"Too stubborn and we loved our jobs too much; if we had gotten together then, Cragen would've definitely split us up." He pointed out.

"We were skating on thin ice a lot of the time, anyway," she laughed a bit before shrugging her shoulders;

"You know, as much as I hated you leaving and as angry as I was with you, it was for the best. You're happier without the stress of SVU and looking back, I can see now that it was tearing you down. With me, it's different; SVU is my life – it's who I am. And – don't take this the wrong way – but I grew more with you gone. With you there, I was fine with just staying at the level, staying by your side as your partner; and that's not your fault, that's just me because I would've done anything as long as I could stay your partner. After you left, I had to push myself because I became the senior detective, and there was so much other stuff that went on that kind of left me with no choice other than to grow – like with Munch leaving, I was suddenly next in line to be number two, and I found myself realizing that you would've wanted me to go for this. Then obviously Cragen left and I was suddenly left with no choice but to be in charge of the unit, and then Tucker wanted me to take the Lieutenant exam and I could've easily said no, but I wanted to push myself and stay in charge of the unit. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if you had stayed, but then if you had stayed, I would've never realized my full potential because I was content with being your partner; I didn't want that to change. Besides, if you had stayed, we wouldn't be able to be what we were always meant to be."

"I understand what you're saying, Liv; and I agree," he paused for a moment before continuing;

"Me and you, we fed off each other, so we never would've pushed each other to go further because what would that mean? We would have to separate – or at least be together less. And, if I had stayed, I'm not sure where I would be – I mean obviously we wouldn't be able to be together, but also me as a person, I wouldn't have been any good for you and you deserve the best. I am sorry for leaving you the way I did, I'm forever sorry for hurting you, but I had to, for my sanity and to get myself together. You know, I heard through the years about your promotions, and a couple years ago when I heard you had become _Lieutenant,_ I felt such pride like _'Wow, Liv really made it'_ and if I had stayed, you wouldn't have. We fed off each other too much."

"No wonder people say our relationship is ridiculous." Olivia smirked after a few moments.

"I believe _mutual reliance_ and _emotional dependence_ were the words used to describe our relationship," they laughed together before Elliot continued, "I am so proud of you, for showing everyone that you could make it, and I'm proud of you for not leaving when I left."

"I was tempted," she smirked as she stroked her hand over his chest, "I'm proud of you for growing some balls and continuing to talk to me outside of Maureen's hospital room that day, because I was really about to walk away from you had you not grabbed my arm."

Elliot burst out laughing, wrapping his other arm around her to hug her. Leave it to his Olivia to lighten up their serious conversation with a joke. _This_ was what he loved about her.

"I knew I had to stop you before you got away," he kissed the top of her head, his lips brushing against her skin, "I love you, Liv; I really do."

Olivia moved so that her legs were on either wide of him. She leaned down and kissed him yet again, stroking her fingers against his cheeks whilst his hands rest on her hips.

"I love you too."

"Bed?" he questioned, still stroking her lower back as he held her. She smirked as she nodded her head then kissed him once more, briefly stroking her tongue against his before pulling away, sucking his bottom lip as she did so.

"Bed." She spoke in a sultry tone; she watched as his eyes darkened slightly as he caught on to what she was saying.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, baby," she pecked his lips, gently scratching the back of his neck, "No more waiting, El; we've waited long enough."

Elliot kept his arms locked around her as he stood up, allowing her to wrap her legs around his waist. She knocked the switch to turn the lights off before gripping onto him as he carried her into her bedroom and kicked the door shut with his foot. He then lay her down in the middle of her bed, his lips pressed against hers yet again as he lay himself down on top of her. He knelt up briefly to pull the black t-shirt over his head, and Olivia swallowed as she caught sight of his muscles. Despite them all getting older, Elliot Stabler certainly was a sight to be seen, especially when he took his shirt off.

He leaned down and kissed her again as his rough, calloused hands pushed her shirt up, exposing the soft, toned skin of her stomach. He pulled away enough to pull the shirt off her body then slowly unzipped her jeans and pulled them down her toned, tanned legs as well. He paused for a moment, taking in the sight of her in her black lace bra and matching – and rather tiny – black lace panties. He did take note of the faint, pink scars on her chest and torso, permanent reminders of her time with that psychopath those years ago. He leaned down and kissed over the little reminders, before kissing up her neck and settling on her lips yet again. She gripped onto his back, a low moan escaping her lips when she felt him stroke his tongue against hers. All the feelings and tension that had built up between them over the years of their partnership had come back in full force, and _finally,_ they were able to freely release the tension and love each other fully without anything holding them back.

She gasped when she felt his thumbs rubbing over her nipples through the thin fabric of the bra which caused them to harden under his touch. While his lips remained on her neck, his hand reached around and unclasp the lace garment. He pulled it away from her body, simply gazing at her for a second. Her breasts were supple and firm, dusky peaks having hardened under his touch and contrasted perfectly against her olive colored skin. He took one of the tiny buds into his mouth whilst rolling the other between his fingers. Her head tilted back against the soft white pillow, her lips parted as the air seemed to leave her body. She felt like she was on cloud nine; the dozens of fantasies she'd had about Elliot kissing her body was nothing compared to this real thing.

"El, please."

"Patience baby." His voice sent shivers down her spine. He smirked before kissing the centerline down her stomach, spending extra time kissing over the fading bruises on her abdomen from her work injuries. He then gently pushed her thighs open before kissing the soft skin of her inner thighs, while Olivia was watching with her chest rising and falling rapidly as she drew her lip in between her teeth.

He hooked his fingers into the sides of her underwear before looking up, silently asking for permission to continue. She nodded her head, giving him a soft smile which he returned. He slid the lace garment down her legs, biting his lip at the sight of her fully naked before him. She watched him in anticipation, a quiet moan escaping her as he sucked the skin of her inner thigh as he grew closer to where she wanted him to be. Suddenly, her lips parted, and a gasp escaped her lips as she felt his lips wrap around her clit. She gripped the sheets around her as he sucked the bundle of nerves into his mouth; her back arched and her eyes fluttered shut, whilst Elliot's strong arms gripped her thighs to old them apart.

She uttered a couple curse words when his tongue slid in-between her wet folds, first in a slower, up and down motion before he began flicking rapidly. One hand flew down to hold his head in place, her short nails scraping through his hair whilst her other hand continued gripping the sheets. She was trying to be quiet considering Noah was in his room asleep, but it was growing increasingly difficult to do so as pleasure raced through her veins. She let out a quiet moan as he continued his rather pleasurable tongue actions, squeezing her eyes shut.

This was certainly better than any fantasy she had _ever_ had about Elliot.

"El." a soft moan sounded from her lips when she felt him slide two thick fingers inside her whilst his thumb rubbed against her clit. He moved his fingers rapidly, kissing her thighs whilst looking up at her. Her eyes were closed, and her lips were parted; one hand was gripping the sheets and the other was holding his wrist as if she were continuing to guide his actions. Her back arched, another moan of his name could be heard. He felt her muscles contracting around his fingers and knew that she was close.

"Oh my God…El…I'm…" she was trying to speak but couldn't as another moan slipped past her swollen lips. Elliot smirked, moving his fingers faster within her before uttering the words in his deep voice;

"Let go for me, baby; come on Liv."

That was all it took for Olivia to come undone. She felt herself tumbling over the edge into the waves of orgasmic pleasure. She felt as though her breath left her body whilst her back arched; Elliot removed his fingers and lapped up the river of juices that were flowing from her body. He placed a soft kiss on her mound and kissed her thighs, before sliding up her body to kiss her lips, allowing her to taste herself on his tongue. She slid her hands down and undid his jeans; only pulling apart briefly so he could remove the jeans and his boxers. She caught sight of his thick member and her eyes went wide. It was no surprise that he was big but seeing it in the flesh only caused the wetness to pool between his legs.

"Do we need-"

"Me and you are way past that, you know that," she wrapped her arms around him to pull his body against hers, "I trust you, baby."

"I trust you, too; always have." He smiled. He kissed her yet again, slowly pushing himself inside her as he did so which caused her to groan into his mouth. He halted his movements as he looked into her brown eyes, allowing her time to adjust to his size. She reached up and stroked his cheek, nodding her head which gave him permission to move. He pressed his lips back against hers as he began moving his hips. She gasped as she tightened her legs around his waist, her nails gripping onto the sweaty flesh of his shoulder whilst he continued thrusting in and out of her gently.

She let out a tiny shriek of pleasure when his tip began bouncing against the most pleasurable spot deep inside. Breathy moans of _'Elliot'_ escaped her lips as her eyes fluttered shut, the waves of pleasure crashing against her like waves crashing against the shore. She felt him swelling inside her and she moaned yet again, gripping onto his biceps as she briefly opened her eyes to look at him. He was taking her to an orgasmic paradise, and if it was anything like this, she never wanted to come down from that.

He lowered himself against her and began moving his hips faster, his thick member slamming in and out of her at a rapid pace. Her mouth was pressed against his shoulder and her nails were digging into his back, creating angry red marks as she began losing herself in total pleasure. His lips attached to her neck and began suckling her skin, his teeth digging into the soft flesh before his tongue soothed the area. She moaned in his ear, spurring him to move faster as a familiar feeling began stirring within both of them.

"I'm close." She breathed into his ear. He let out a quiet murmur of _'me too baby'_ before he rest his weight on his forearms, moving even faster against her. He moved one hand down and began rapidly swiping his thumb over her clit in time with his thrusts, increasing the pleasure that was racing through her veins. She gripped onto his back as her eyes fluttered shut. She felt herself tightening around him as she grew closer to tumbling yet again.

"Let go with me, Liv; I got you, baby."

That was all she needed. She let out a pleasure stricken cry of _'Elliot'_ whilst he grunted in her ear, the two of them crashing into the waves of an orgasmic paradise. She scratched her nails down his back as her muscles continued contracting around him, while he twitched once more and released inside of her. The feeling of him releasing his love for her inside set off another orgasm; she gripped his shoulder and closed her eyes as she held him.

A few moments later, once the pair had come down from their high, Elliot moved to pull out of her finally. She moaned at the loss of contact, but her lips curled into a smile when she felt him wrap a strong arm around her and pull her against his side. She lazily curled up against him, resting her head on his chest and her leg over his whilst he pulled the covers over them.

"That was amazing." She panted, stroking her hand against his chest.

"It was," he kissed her forehead, "But it only made up for one year; we've got eleven more years of tension to release."

"Oh my God," she let out a laugh, playfully smacking his chest before burying her face into his neck, " _Mmm…_ El."

"Yeah baby?" he dipped his head to look into those sparkling brown eyes, the adorable look on her face causing him to lightly peck her nose.

"I'm glad you're back," she held onto his face as she kissed him once more, briefly stroking her tongue against his, "I love you; I always will."

"I love you too, Olivia; always will," he ran his fingers through her hair as she rest her head on his chest, "Get some rest beautiful, I've got you."

She nodded her head, placing a kiss onto his chest before closing her eyes. She smiled when she felt him kiss her forehead again, and for the first time in a long time, she felt truly safe.

She was safe now. With Elliot here, she was always safe.

* * *

It was still dark when Olivia woke up; she glanced at the clock and realized it was five in the morning. She rolled over, expecting to find Elliot, but was met with an empty space. Her brow furrowed in confusion, especially when she didn't hear him in the en suite restroom. She saw his shirt still draped across the foot of the bed where he had thrown it the hours earlier, so he was obviously somewhere in the apartment.

She pulled herself out of bed, smiling a bit to herself as she felt the dull ache between her legs which caused a familiar flutter to present itself in her belly. She pulled on some yoga bottoms and a tank top before making her way out of the room. She heard the faint sounds of the television and noticed that the floor lamp was on, leading her to make her way closer to the lounge to see what was going on. She smiled softly as she stepped closer, the sight before her causing her heart to swell.

Noah was snuggled into Elliot on the sofa, sleeping soundly whilst Elliot sat on the sofa in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, watching the cartoons on the television. As much as she hated to disrupt their peaceful moment, she couldn't resist wandering over to the sofa and seating herself on the other side of Noah. Her presence caught Elliot's attention; he gave her his handsome smile whilst she smiled back and stroked her hand over Noah's cheek.

"He woke up about an hour ago with a tummy ache and came to get one of us, and by the time I had gotten out of bed, he had thrown up in your toilet," he quietly chuckled as he glanced down at the little boy whom was sleeping peacefully, "We came out here to sit for a bit so we wouldn't wake you, and I had him sip some water until he felt better. As you can tell, he's asleep and I'm unashamedly watching _Looney Tunes._ "

" _Looney Tunes_ is our show," Olivia giggled a bit as she curled her legs under her, "Thank you for taking care of him."

"You needed your rest," he gave her a smirk before continuing, "Besides, what kind of man would I be if I didn't take the nighttime shifts when our kid gets sick in the night?"

"Our?" she raised an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side.

" _Our_ ," he emphasized the word yet again; "I don't plan on leaving again, Liv; I want this – me and you – for the rest of my life, which means my kids are yours, and your kid is mine."

Olivia's eyes went wide and Elliot quietly chuckled as he knew exactly what she was thinking, "I'm not asking you to marry me right now, Liv; I'm just saying that you're it for me – there's nobody else, just you."

"This is too deep for five in the morning," she giggled before moving to the other side of him, curling up in the space between him and the arm of the sofa. "But back at you; I'm a little weary on marriage sometimes, but I know that I want you for the rest of my life. You're my partner for life – not at work, but in my life, and I don't want it any other way."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, capturing her lips with his. He then pulled away and rest his head against hers, a genuinely happy smile on both of their faces as a little bubble of love closed around them.

"I'm your partner, for better or worse – forever, Liv."

* * *

 **WELL THIS IS THE END. Please, leave your reviews! I've enjoyed this, and I thank you all for being so accepting of my first proper SVU fic. Until next time my friends... xoxo**


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